He's A Lady
by Fifilafemme
Summary: Varon always makes fun of Amelda because of his feminine appearance. What happens if the shoe were on the other foot?[Completed]
1. Amelda's purse

Disclaimer: I do not own Yugioh or any of the characters so don't sue me! :D

**He's a lady**

"Hey Amelda aren't you forgetting something?"asked Varon as he looked up at his friend. "What the Hell are you talking about?" asked Amelda "I'm not missing anything"

"You forgot your purse" said Varon nearly breaking his ribs from laughter "Don't want to forget your lipstick do you?". "Dammit Varon!"shouted Amelda as he attacked Varon for making such a comment, which seemed to be everytime he got the chance.

"Just cause I look a little like a woman doesn't mean that I am"shouted Amelda "That also doesn't mean that you can keep making fun of me because of it!".

"A little like a woman!?"laughed Varon "You're more feminine than most women out there!". Amelda and Varon were wrestling like two wild animals when Raphael saw them.

" Don't you two ever get tired of fighting?"asked Raphael "Or is it a your favorite pastime?". "Well we wouldn't fight if he didn't keep calling me a woman!" shouted Amelda "I'm not a woman and he knows it!"

Varon just chuckled, pulled himself up, and said "Well it's your own damn fault for wearing that ridiculous shirt!". Amelda looked down at himself and knew that Varon was referring to the midriff bearing tanktop that he was accustomed to wearing.

. "So?"said Amelda "I'm free to wear whatever the Hell I feel like wearing". Raphael just sighed and since the two younger men were always fighting like cats and dogs. "Varon you need to stop making fun of Amelda everytime you see him" said Raphael as he looked over at Varon. Amelda just had a smug look on his face til Raphael turned to him and said "And Amelda you've gotta stop overreacting everytime Varon teases you".

"Hey I'll stop making fun of him when he starts dressing like a guy!"said Varon as he took a bow "Til then I'll always bow in the prescence of a lady!". Amelda gritted his teeth and was about to punch Varon when Raphael held him back.

"You wouldn't think it was so damn funny if the shoe were on the other foot"said Amelda "Lets see how you'd like it if some little asswipe made fun of you everytime he saw you?". With that Amelda stormed out of the room and just disappeared.

. "Asswipe?"laughed Varon "I didn't know he cared so much about me!". Raphael just sighed once again and left the room while Varon was in a fit of laughter.

"Ahh........ I never get tired of doing that" said Varon he he just jumped on the couch and turned on the tv "Hehehe he always gets so worked up over nothing"


	2. Dartz's New Hobby

Disclaimer I do not own Yugioh or any of the characters

The following morning was just like any other morning but so far that would be the only thing normal about that entire day. Varon sat at the table eating as if though he hadn't eaten in a month. "How many plates have you had so far?"asked Raphael "Two? Three?". Varon paused for a moment and with a mouth full of food just mumbled "I've had four plates". "How can you eat so much and not gain weight?"wondered Raphael as he took a sip of his coffee "It doesn't make any sense". "I dunno"said Varon as he shoveled more food into his mouth "I'm just lucky I guess". At that moment Amelda walked into the room looking half asleep and Varon quickly got up.

"Why are you standing up?"inquired Amelda as he made it to the table "Are you done stuffing yourself?". "A lady entered the room"said Varon with an wicked grin on his face. Amelda was still too sleepy to argue so he just poured himself a cup of coffee and sat down. "Aren't you going to eat?"asked Raphael as he briefly glanced over a newspaper. Amelda just looked over at Varon and said "I would eat but it's just that someone ate all the food so there's nothing left for me to eat". "Well next time wake up earlier"said Varon "Or are you trying to catch up on your beauty sleep?".

"It's too early in the morning for you two to be fighting already"said Raphael "Besides Varon hasn't eaten those muffins at the end of the table". "Muffins..."scoffed Amelda "I'm reduced to eating muffins just because someone always eats more than his share". "You like muffins so what are you talking about?"said Varon "The only reason we have them is because of you". "That doesn't mean that I like eating them every single day!"shouted Amelda "I was looking forward to actually eating something else for a change". "Well as long as you take your sweet time waking up"said Varon with a grin "That's not gonna happen". Amelda just muttered something under his breath and proceeded to eat his usual breakfast of coffee and a boring old muffin.

Amelda had barely taken one bite of his muffin when Raphael's cellphone rang. "Hello?"said Raphael as he answered the phone "Yes Master Dartz we're all here". Raphael listened intently for a few moments before hanging up. "What did he want?"asked Varon after he finished drinking the last of his coffee "Anything good?". "Master Dartz wants to see us right away"said Raphael "He says it's something important". "It's never anything important" said Varon "Last time he said it was something "important" turns out he just wanted to show us some stupid karaoke machine!". "If he heard you say that he'd make you sing" said Amelda "Remember what happened last time you talked back to him?". "I don't know why he thought that making me sing was a punishment"said Varon "It was actually pretty fun".

After pulling Varon away for him breakfast, the trio walked down a long hallway leading to the conference room where Dartz always held his meetings. Dartz was already there sitting at the head of the table with a new goodie in his hand. "And scene one....Raphael walks into the room looking as if though he's constipated"said Dartz as he held a camcorder in his hand. Dartz had just gotten a new camcorder since he needed a new hobby and he liked the idea of following people around and getting it all on film. "Oh and here comes Amelda looking moody as usual"said Dartz "He should really smile once in awhile". Dartz was having a good time getting it all on film while Raphael and Amelda just looked at each other in disbelief. "Where's Varon?"asked Dartz "I thought I said that I wanted to see the three of you!". Varon slowly walked in eating the muffin that Amelda had taken a bite of. "Oh my Varon is stuffing his face"said Dartz "Why am I not surprised?". "What's going on?"said Varon "Why do you have that camera?". "I took up a new hobby"said Dartz "I needed to test out my camcorder so that's why I called you in".

"And you pulled us away from breakfast for this?"said Varon who was still hungry "Couldn't you have waited til after we were done eating!?". "Varon you're always eating"said Amelda "You're like a bottomless pit!". "And you're always playing with your hair!"said Varon "But this is just stupid! He dragged us here just to see his new camcorder!". "So do you have a problem with my camcorder!"said Dartz as he got it all on film "I have a right to enjoy myself however I like". "Oh......this isn't good"thought Raphael "Why does Varon always have to say what's on his mind?". "So? Play with your karaoke machine"said Varon "Or go outside and film something out there!".

Amelda and Raphael just exchanged glances once again before they both just said "He's dead". Dartz put his camcorder down for a moment and just chuckled. "You're quite insolent Varon"said Dartz "You always say exactly what's on your mind without sugarcoating it". "And?"said Varon "Let me guess you're going to make me sing karaoke for you again?". "No" said Dartz as he picked up his camcorder once again "I'm saving that for a special occasion......you're all dismissed".

After the three had left Dartz replayed everything that had happened in the meeting. He chuckled and was quite amused with what he had gotten on film. "This gives me an idea"said Dartz "Something that will provide me with endless laughs". "I can't believe you said all that to Master Dartz!"shouted Amelda "You're such a dumbass!". "So?"said Varon "Someone had to tell him that he's a crazy old coot". "You do realize that something unpleasant might happen?"said Raphael "Master Dartz has ways of dealing with people who disrespect him". "Oooh what's he going to do?"said Varon in a sarcastic tone of voice "Make me sing and dance while he gets it on film?". The rest of the day proceeded as normal........but the next day would be anything but.


	3. Varon Skips Breakfast

Disclaimer: I don't own Yugioh or any of the characters so don't sue me! :D

**Varon Skips Breakfast?**

It was yet another day over at the Doom headquarters and Raphael was sitting at the breakfast table drinking his coffee and reading a newspaper as usual. Amelda walked in half asleep but this time he looked worse than normal. Amelda had barely gotten up so he was still dressed in his pajamas and his hair looked like he'd been caught in a tornado. "Yes!"said Amelda as he threw himself in a chair "I got up an hour earlier and I should be able to get some food now!". Raphael glanced at his watch, back at his newspaper, and finally at Amelda. "You do realize it's the same you time always wake up right?"said Raphael "I don't know where you got the idea that it's an hour earlier". "What!?"shouted Amelda "So that means that the food is all gone again!?". "No there's still food"said Raphael as he motioned to a plate with eggs, sausages, and a few other things.

"Hehehehheh"laughed Dartz as he filmed Raphael and Amelda at the breakfast table "Amelda just found out that I changed the time on his alarm clock". Dartz was hidden behind a large plant in the corner but he decided that watching them eat wasn't really that much fun. "I need to do something until the real fun begins"chuckled Dartz "And I think I know what". Dartz slowly crept under the table where he promptly lit a match and slipped it into Raphael's boot. "Do you smell something?"said Amelda as he sniffed the air "It smells like-". "Hey don't try to blame it on me"said Raphael as he still kept looking at his newspaper "Hey.... is it getting hot in here?". Suddenly Raphael looked down and realized his boot was on fire. "HOLY CRAP!!!!!!!!!!!!!"shouted Raphael as he got up and ran around the room like crazy "I'M ON FIRE!!!!!!". "Now that's what I call a big flamer"laughed Dartz as he jumped out from under the table and followed Raphael as he ran out the room. Amelda was still pretty sleepy so he just kept eating and thought nothing of what had just happened.

"BEEP, BEEP, BEEP"

Varon groaned and threw a pillow at his alarm clock since he didn't feel much like waking up. "What time is it?"muttered Varon as he slowly opened his eyes "WHAT!? It's already 7:30!? I'm missing breakfast!!". Varon's stomach growled right on cue so he knew that it was definitely time for him to eat so he got up and went into the bathroom. Varon squeezed some paste on his toothbrush and began to brush his teeth even though he could hardly even open his eyes. "I hope Amelda hasn't gotten up yet"thought Varon "He's skinny as a scarecrow but he eats almost as much as I do if he gets the chance". Varon finished brushing his teeth so he proceeded to wash his face. The cool refreshing water began to wake him up so pretty soon he was wide awake and he reached over for a towel to dry off his face. "Ahh that's better"said Varon as his vision came into focus "Now I'm ready to face the day, right handsome?". At that moment Varon looked into the mirror but when he did he got an unexpected surprise. "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!"screamed Varon at the top of his lungs "WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO ME!!!!!!!!!!?"

Raphael eventually put the fire in his boot out and returned to the table to finish off his breakfast as if though nothing had happened. "So do you notice anything different?"asked Raphael as he poured himself another cup of coffee "Or are you still in dreamland?". Only then did Amelda realize that Varon wasn't at the table. "I should have known he wasn't here"said Amelda "This is the first time in almost a year that I haven't been forced to eat muffins". Amelda had nearly finished off all the food at that point and Raphael just raised an eyebrow. "How the Hell can the two of you eat so much and not gain weight?"asked Raphael "If I ate like the two of you do I wouldn't be able to fit through the door". Dartz was still laughing at the incident with Raphael so he decided that the time had finally come to unveil his latest and greatest endeavour.

"Goodmorning!"said Dartz as he walked into the room "And how are you three today?". Raphael and Amelda didn't expect Dartz to show up during their breakfast so they freaked out. "Master Dartz!"said both as they bowed down to him "What brings you here this morning?". "What?"said Dartz as hid his camcorder behing his back "I can't come in and say goodmorning?". Dartz looked around and innocently said "How come there's only two of you here? Where's that little glutton Varon?". "Varon never showed up to breakfast this morning sir"said Raphael as he slowly got up "He's usually the first one here though". "Hmm"said Dartz as he looked over at Amelda "And why are you still dressed in your pajamas? This isn't a slumber party". "Sorry Master Dartz"said Amelda "I accidently overslept which is probably what happened to Varon as well". Dartz just gave a sly smile and said "Well if Varon is asleep I saw we go and wake him up"

"How the Hell did this happen!?"said Varon as he stared at himself in a full length mirror "This can't be happening! It has to be some kind of nightmare!". Varon tried pinching himself but to no avail since he was obviously wide awake. He stopped for a moment when he realized someone was coming towards his room. "Varon!"shouted Dartz "Wake up! I'm not paying you to sleep in late!". "Oh crap!!!"shouted Varon "I can't let them see me like this!!". Varon immediately hid under his blankets and shouted "I'm sick so go away before you get sick too!". "Nonsense!"shouted Dartz "Open the door this instant!". "No!"shouted Varon "Get lost you crazy old coot and take Raphael and Amelda with you!". "Varon open the damn door!"screamed Amelda "Stop acting like a five year old!". "Get lost Princess Prettypants!"shouted Varon "I want to be left alone!". "Not to worry"said Dartz as he took out a key "I have a master key that opens any door". Dartz promptly unlocked the door but he took out his camcorder and started filming. "And here we have Varon's room which both looks and smells like a landfill"said Dartz "How a person can survive in here is beyond me". Varon was obviously hidden under the covers so Dartz zoomed in on him and said "And I guess we have Oscar the grouch hiding under there".

Amelda was pretty pissed off at Varon for calling him Princess Prettypants so he immediately went over and tried to pull the covers off of Varon. "Leave me alone!"shouted Varon "I'm sick!". "Well his voice does sound a little strange"said Raphael "Maybe he really is sick, after all he did skip breakfast". "Nonsense!"shouted Dartz still filming the whole thing "Now get over there and help him get that lazy bum out of bed". Raphael was big and pretty strong so he managed to pull the covers off of Varon who immediately panicked and curled up into a little ball in the corner. "Varon what the Hell is wrong with you!?"shouted Amelda as he pulled him by the hair and off of the bed. Amelda and Raphael were both stunned and Dartz just had a huge grin on his face while he got the whole thing on film. Varon was no longer a man........he had become a woman.

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAH!!!!".

After the shock of seeing Varon as a woman went away, Amelda immediately burst out laughing so hard that he fell on the floor. "Stop laughing at me!"cried Varon in a now female voice "This isn't funny!". Amelda couldn't even speak at that point and tears streamed down his cheeks as he lay there in an uncontrollable fit of laughter. "Amelda is actually laughing?"said Dartz as he got Amelda on film "Is the world coming to an end?". "And Varon!"said Dartz as he turned back to Varon "What are you going to do today? Go shopping? Get your hair done?". Dartz began to laugh, Raphael pretty soon began to laugh, and Amelda was laughing the entire time. Varon eventually burst into tears and ran into the bathroom which caused them all to laugh even more. "I wish I hadn't woken up today!"shouted Varon as he curled up into a ball.


	4. Velour Suit

Disclaimer: I do not own Yugioh or any of the characters so don't sue me :D

Varon had locked himself in the bathroom since Dartz, Raphael, and Amelda had been laughing at him, but now the laughter had stopped which most likely meant that they had gone away. "I think those idiots are gone"said Varon as he slowly opened the door a crack and peered out into his room "Amelda must be loving every second of this". After a few minutes he finally went back into his bedroom but he made sure to check the closet and under the bed to make sure no one was hiding there. Finally when he was convinced that the coast was clear he stopped and looked in a full length mirror he had. Varon's hair looked pretty much exactly the same but his face had a softer and more feminine look to it. Varon also noticed that he had gotten a few inches shorter and he had a few other things he didn't have before. "Holy crap!"said Varon "My chest is huge! How am I supposed to hide these!?".

"Has he woken up yet?"asked Dartz as they all sat back at the breakfast table "Or is he still unconscious?". Amelda laughed so hard at Varon that he actually passed out. During the commotion Dartz placed his camcorder on top of Varon's dresser next to some bottles of styling gel. "I'm awake"said Amelda as he slowly opened his eyes and got up off of the floor "My ribs hurt though...". Dartz chuckled and said "Well seeing as how you hardly laugh, your body must have though you were having a spasm". Amelda slowly headed off to his room to get dressed while Dartz just kept thinking of what to do next. "Raphael go find my camcorder"said Dartz "I misplaced it and I'm not sure where I could have left it". "You still had your camcorder in Varon's room"said Raphael "If I'm not mistaken it must still be in there". "Well then what are you sitting around here for?"said Dartz "Go get it for me". "But Master Dartz what about Varon?"said Raphael "I don't just want to barge in". "Oh please" said Dartz "He's probably still in the bathroom crying like an adolescent girl...which he is now"

"Where the Hell are my clothes!!?"shouted Varon "Why is my closet full of women's clothes!?". Varon had just discovered that for some reason all of his clothes had vanished and now his closet and dresser were filled from top to bottom with nothing but women's clothes and even some purses. "These clothes would look great on a girl but not on me!"said Varon "I can't wear any of this stuff!". Varon kept staring and staring til he finally found one outfit that seemed somewhat decent. The clothes were all about two sizes too small for him so he was having quite a challenge getting them on. "Dammit!"cried Varon "I can't get this stupid t-shirt over my head!". Varon was spinning around knocking things over and jumping around in hopes of getting his head through the hole in his t-shirt. He was so busy trying to get his t-shirt on that he failed to notice when Raphael opened the bedroom door. Varon finally pulled the t-shirt down and sighed from the relief but then he found himself face to face with a very shocked looking Raphael.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!"

Dartz could only laugh when he heard the screams since he knew it was the start of a very very fun and laughter filled day. "Heheh and I got it all on film"laughed Dartz "Hmm this gives me another idea". Dartz quickly ran off to the conference room to prepare for what he would do next.

"I'm so sorry Varon!"shouted Raphael as he covered his eyes and ran back out of the room "I didn't mean to-". "Hey watch where you're going"said Amelda who was now fully dressed and ready to go. Raphael looked pretty freaked out so Amelda realized what had most likely happened. Amelda quickly ran back to his room to get something and then he headed straight to Varon's room. "Damn these stupid pants!"shouted Varon as he jumped up and down trying to get into the pants "They're too damn small for me!!!". The door flew open and Amelda stood there in the doorway looking straight at Varon. "Get the Hell out of here!!"screamed Varon at the top of his lungs "There's nothing here for you to see!!!".

FLASH

"This picture is going on the internet as payback for all the stuff you've done to me!"shouted Amelda as he ran back to his room at full speed. "You dirty pervert!!"shouted Varon "I'll get you for this!!". Raphael was still pretty freaked out but then his cellphone rang so he had no choice but to answer. "Yes Master Dartz?"said Raphael as struggled to recover from the shock of seeing Varon's now female body. "Raphael I want the three of you to come for a meeting"said Dartz "And I want you to get Varon out of his room even if you have to drag him by his hair...oh and bring my camcorder!". "Yes Master Dartz"said Raphael as he hung up and went to get Amelda. "Heheheh this picture is gonna be the star attraction at my website"said Amelda "I have to think of a title for it though". "Amelda"said Raphael "Master Dartz wants to see us but I need you to help me get Varon out of his room". So Raphael and Amelda went straight into Varon's room once again. Now that Varon was female, Raphael simply picked him up, tossed him over his shoulder. "Put me down!"shouted Varon "This isn't funny!!". "Yes it is!"said Amelda as he got everything on film with Dartz's camcorder.

The meeting with Dartz was very weird since Raphael just kept staring at Varon in a weird way while Amelda kept snickering each time he glanced over at Varon. "Varon you're not doing that velour suit any justice"said Dartz "You should show it off with that body". Varon just slumped down in his seat since he didn't want anyone to see him. "Fortunately you owe me something"said Dartz as he walked over to his karaoke machine "And now it's time for me to call in the favor". "What!?"shouted Varon "I'm not singing karaoke looking like this!". "Of course not you stupid boy...I mean girl"said Dartz with a twisted smile on his face "Raphael is going to be singing but you're going to be dancing". "WHAT!?"shouted Varon and Raphael at the same time "WHY!?". "For my own personal amusement of course"said Dartz "I pay you all for a reason". "Forget it you crazy old pervert!' shouted Varon "I'm not dancing for you in any way, shape, or form!". "You do realize that with the snap of my fingers I could drop you headfirst into a Hooters right now right?"asked Dartz "How would a bunch of drunken and horny men react to a girl who looks as sexy as you?"

"Ooh baby feels like the music sounds better with you"sang Raphael in a very rough and monotone voice since he was reading the lyrics off of a piece of paper Dartz had given him. "Come on now shake those hips Varon!"shouted Dartz "I know you can do better than that!". "Stupid Dartz"muttered Varon under his breath as he danced as best as he could under such humiliating circumstances. Amelda just kept laughing the whole time which finally began to piss Dartz off after awhile since it was distracting. "Amelda shut up!"shouted Dartz "You're interrupting the song!". "I can't help it!"blurted Amelda "This is the funniest thing I've ever seen!". Dartz suddenly got a genius idea which would make his video a whole lot funnier. "Amelda get up and start dancing too"said Dartz "Why have one dancer when I can have two instead?". "What!? Why do I have do dance!?"shouted Amelda "I don't ever talk back to you like Varon does!". "Yes but I just feel like making you dance"said Dartz "Now get over there and shake your moneymaker!".

"Heheheheh and to think this is just the beginning of the day!"said Dartz to himself as he filmed Varon and Amelda dancing like two idiots. "This is stupid!"said Amelda "I don't see why I have to dance!". "You dance like you've got lead boots on"said Varon "I can see why you didn't want to dance". "Hey Raphael sing something by Whitney Houston!"shouted Dartz "And you two start slow dancing!". "NO WAY!"shouted both "I'M NOT DANCING WITH HIM!". "You'll do realize that with a snap of my fingers I could drop you both in the middle of a fraternity house right?"said Dartz "You'll both look mighty good to drunken college boys who haven't been laid in months". "This is humilating"said Amelda as he slow danced with Varon "Why's he picking on me all of a sudden?". "What are you bitching about?"said Varon "At least you're not stuck as a woman!'.


	5. The Lady Is A Tramp

Author's note: Sorry I haven't updated! But I was stuck studying for some pretty killer classes!

Disclaimer: I do not own Yugioh or any of the characters so don't sue me!

Dartz was having the best time of his life with Varon now as a woman and he kept thinking of more ways to humilate Varon. "Hmm so far I've made him dance, sing, play with a hula hoop, make a music video, and run on a treadmill"thought Dartz "But it's barely 11am and there's so many more hours in a day". "Varon are you okay?"asked Raphael as Varon lay sprawled out on the couch "You look pretty bad". "I've done enough freakin exercise to last me the entire year!"shouted Varon "How do you expect me to feel!?". "I'm surprised you can look at him without freaking out again"said Amelda "After all you got to see his-". Amelda was interrupted by Raphael screaming and having a traumatic flashback to what he saw before he ran out the room.

Amelda's cellphone suddenly began to ring so he picked it up. "Master Dartz? Why are you calling me?"said Amelda "You usually call Raphael". "Raphael isn't picking up for some reason"said Dartz "But that's not important, I want the three of you to come back to the conference room". Amelda hung up the phone and pushed Varon off the couch. "Master Dartz wants to see us again"said Amelda "So get up already!". "Screw him!"shouted Varon "I'm not going back there! He's probably gonna make me do something even worse this time!". "Get up!"shouted Amelda "Don't make me drag you back there!". "Just try!"shouted Varon as he grabbed onto the couch "I'm not moving!". Well a few minutes later Amelda was heading to the conference room with Varon slung over his shoulder. "This isn't fair!"screamed Varon "Why are you stronger than me now!!?".

"So why did you want me to come here?"said Mai as she sat in one of the chairs in the conference room "I've got other things to do". Dartz gave a smile, sipped his martini, and simply said "You'll see...it'll be quite an interesting experience". "Well it better not be a waste of time"said Mai "I've got an appointment to get my nails done later on today". "So do I my dear"said Dartz "I went to that lovely salon you recommended, they do such a fabulous job with my nails!". Suddenly the sounds of Amelda shouting at someone could be heard outside the door."Stop kicking me!' shouted Amelda "Just cause you're a girl now doesn't mean I won't kick your ass!". The door then flew open and Amelda walked in carrying Varon who was kicking wildly and attempting to get away.

"What's going on?"asked Mai as she saw the girl Amelda was carrying "Is this what you wanted to see?". "Mai's here?"thought Varon "I can't let her know it's me!". "Both of you take a seat"said Dartz "And where the Hell is Raphael?". "I couldn't find Raphael"said Amelda "He's traumatized because he saw something really disturbing". "Well who cares?"said Dartz as he gulped the last of his martini "Tell me my dear Mai,who does this stunning young lady in that delightfully tight velour suit remind you of?". Varon nearly had a heard attack as Mai looked at him suspiciously.

"She reminds me of a tramp in such an outfit"said Mai "No self respecting girl would wear something so tacky and out of season". Amelda burst out laughing and he smiled and said "Hey that's no way to talk about Varon's new girlfriend...he likes how she dresses". "His girlfriend?"laughed Mai "This tacky little tramp is Varon's girlfriend? Hahahaha! I see his standards are very low". "I am not a tramp!"shouted Varon "There's nothing wrong with what I'm wearing!". "Don't you find it a bit odd how Varon fell for a girl who looks like a female version of him?"asked Dartz as he pulled out his camcorder "It's quite unusual isn't it?". Varon was tempted to jump up on the table, run over, and kick Dartz and his camcorder into the next room, but he had to restrain himself.

Meanwhile poor Raphael was locked up in his room screaming and trying to get the image of a topless female Varon out of his head. "Why did I have to see that!?"screamed Raphael "WHY!!?".

Raphael just curled up in his bed in a fetal position, closed his eyes, and just tried to think of other things. "Motorcycles…uh my guardian cards"muttered Raphael "Uh…Amelda's stupid website where he rants and whines about every little thing…uh". Raphael kept trying as hard as he could but it was no use, so instead he sat up and turned on the tv in hopes of distracting himself. "The Home Shopping Network should be safe to watch" said Raphael "There now I can forget"

"Dartz is this really what you wanted me to see?"said Mai "If I wanted to see a tacky girl with bad hair I'd go visit Tea Gardener". "Why are you being so mean to me!?"asked Varon "I haven't done anything to you!". "Because I'm gorgeous that's why"said Mai "Plus I've got a killer sense of fashion...unlike you". Amelda could only laugh as poor Varon turned red, clenched his fists, and looked right at Dartz. "You'll pay for this Dartz!"thought Varon "I'll make you pay for everything you've done to me today!!!". "Well you're dismissed then" said Dartz ""After all I've got to get ready for my appointment as well". Mai promptly left and as soon as she was gone Varon couldn't hold it in any longer. "YOU ROTTEN BASTARD!"shouted Varon "Why did you do that!!?"

Dartz just chuckled and said "You're as insolent as ever my dear Varon"

Amelda just stood there with a big grin plastered on his face until Dartz turned to him. "Amelda stop smiling like that" said Dartz "It's weird and very scary". "I can't help it!"said Amelda "It's not everyday that someone calls Varon a tacky tramp". Varon's eye just began to twitch from the anger as he stared right at Amelda. Dartz was still having lots of fun but then he got yet another brilliant idea. "Humiliating Varon indoors is pretty fun" thought Dartz "But if I can get him outdoors I'm sure it would be even funnier!". Dartz cleared his throat and said "I want the two of you to go get Raphael and report back here in ten minutes". "Why!?"shouted Varon "So you can make me wrestle in pudding!?". "Hmm that's an interesting idea" said Dartz "But right now I've got a mission for you three so move it!".

"Yes Master Dartz!"said Amelda as he bowed down, grabbed Varon, and ran towards Raphael's room to get him. "Heh heh heh now what's a good place to send them?" said Dartz "A place with lots of people?". Dartz began to brainstorm since he only had a few minutes before they came back. "Hmm Hooters would be a good choice"thought Dartz "But I should save that for later". Dartz suddenly remembered Varon's favorite place so he decided to send them there. "Varon would usually be excited to go there" said Dartz with a cynical chuckle "But lets see how he feels about it now"


	6. Raphael's Secret

Author's Note: Well I know the dub names for the guys are Valon and Alister, but in this story I prefer to use the Japanese version of their names even though I use the dub names for other characters(I'm just a weirdo) hehe but thanks to everyone for the reviews and the feedback though!

Disclaimer: I do not own Yugioh, Home Shopping Network, or any of the characters so don't sue me! :D

**Raphael's Secret**

"Hmm I think I could use a rocket powered lawn mower"thought Raphael as he lay on his bed and watched the Home Shopping Network "Then again where would I use it?". There were always all sorts of good yet sometimes crazy things on the Home Shopping Network and Raphael always enjoyed watching, but most of all he enjoying buying .

"I'd better not order one since I just ordered a jet powered robotic vacuum cleaner last week"thought Raphael "I'd better try to cut back on some of the junk". "If you order within the next minutes we'll also throw in a singing trout!"said the woman on the television as she held up the silly looking fish "Order now!". "A singing trout!?"shouted Raphael as he jumped up and ran to look for his credit "Dammit where did I leave my wallet!!!?".

Raphael had a secret that no one suspected at all: He was severely addicted to home shopping and he couldn't stop no matter how hard he tried.

"Why do I have to come with you to get Raphael!?"whined Varon as Amelda pulled him by the arm like an unruly child "He's just going to freak out and lock his door!". "Hey it'll take both of us to get him out of his room"said Amelda "So stop whining!". Amelda began to knock on Raphael's door but there was no response at all. "Raphael!"shouted Amelda "Open up! Master Dartz has a mission for us and he's waiting for us right now!". There was still no response so Varon pressed his ear against the door and said "I think he's got the tv on or something". "RAPHAEL!!!"shouted Amelda as he pounded on the door "THIS IS NO TIME TO PLAY AROUND OPEN UP!!!". Suddenly the door opened up and they were greeted by an odd little machine that looked like a dinner plate on wheels with small jet boosters on its sides.

BEEP BEEP BEEP

It was the first time either one had been in Raphael's room and it was sort of disturbing since his room was filled with all kinds of junk. There were fishing poles, vacuum cleaners, collector plates, books, juicers, and all sorts of other odd things. "What the Hell is that thing?"said Varon as the strange thing just stood there and beeped at them "Is it a robot?".

"Idon't know and I don't care" said Amelda as he stepped overit "Why does Raphael have all this junk in the first place?"Amelda ventured further into the room and he was unaware that the strange little machine was following his every move and beeping faster and faster. Varon didn't even dare enter the room since he had a bad feeling about that weird little machine. "Raphael!"shouted Amelda "Where are you!!!?". The machine began to beep louder than ever and suddenly the jet boosters fired and the machine became airborn and headed straight for Amelda's head.

CRASH

Amelda found himself laying flat on his back seeing stars after he was attacked by the strange thing. "I want to report a UFO sighting"said Amelda who was still dazed from the blow "It attacked me...and I think it probed me!". Varon just burst out laughing when he realized what had happened. "I'm glad that wasn't me" said Varon "That thing looks heavy!". Amelda suddenly sat up, rubbed his head, but now he was very VERY pissed off. "RAPHAEL WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU!!!?"screamed Amelda at the top of his lungs "I JUST GOT ATTACKED BY A CRAZY LITTLE ROBOT BECAUSE OF YOU! NOW GET OUT HERE!!!!!!!!!!!!".

At that moment Raphael came out of his bathroom with his wallet in hand and he noticed that Amelda had a huge bruise on his forehead. "What happened to you?"asked Raphael as he calmly took his credit card out of his wallet "Did you run into something?". "I JUST GOT ATTACKED BY THAT!"screamed Amelda as he pointed to the small machine that was now roaming another part of the room "WHAT THE HELL IS IT!!!?".

"Oh that's just my new jet powered robotic vacuum cleaner"said Raphael as he picked up his cellphone "It's on dirt patrol right now which means that you probably had alot of dirt on your boots or something". Amelda was still hyperventilating and twitching from the rage so it took him a moment to calm down. "Master Dartz wants to see us right away"said Amelda in a calm tone of voice "He's waiting for us right now in the conference room". "All of us?"said Raphael "So does that mean Varon too?'. "Well of course it does!"said Varon as he suddenly entered the room "You know damn well that all of us means the three of us!!".

Raphael's eyes filled with terror, he began to scream, and he attempted to run but Amelda thought quickly. "Not so fast!"shouted Amelda as he suddenly grabbed the robotic vacuum cleaner and ran over to the window "Either you go to the conference room with us or I'll toss this thing outside!". Amelda had figured out Raphael's weakness and now he was making the most of it.

"No! Anything but that!"screamed Raphael "I still have to make three easy payments of $49.99 before it's all mine!". Raphael didn't want his beloved robotic vacuum cleaner to be smashed to bits, so he realized he had no choice but to go with them.

"What's keeping those three fools!?"said Dartz as he sat at the conference table "It's been well over ten minutes and they still haven't come back! How hard is to get Raphael out of his room!?". Dartz was beyond anxious to send them all out on their mission and he had chosen a specific location for them to go since he didn't want to miss a moment of the action.

"Little do those fools suspect that they'll be right next door to where the nail salon is"chuckled Dartz "I should be able to get some good footage". Dartz continued laughing and before long he heard sounds coming from outside so he knew that they had arrived.

"Raphael stop trying to look down my shirt!"screamed Varon "Don't make me poke you in the eye!". "I'm not looking down your shirt!"screamed Raphael "It's not my fault you're shorter now as a woman and I have to look down at you!"."Will you both shut up!?"screamed Amelda "I'm sure Master Dartz is angry that we've kept him waiting for so long!". Dartz just looked at his watch and then he looked up at the door, but they just continued arguing like crazy.

"I haven't got time for this!"muttered Dartz as he picked up his camcorder and "If I don't get to the nail salon on time I'll get that crazy woman with the moustache and the unibrow!". The trio continued arguing like crazy so Dartz got pretty damn angry so he closed his eyes, snapped his fingers, and chuckled as he did something sick, twisted, and guaranteed to give Raphael(and possibly Amelda) nightmares for the next few weeks.

"Huh!?"said Varon as he realized his hands were moving yet he wasn't controlling them "W-What's going on!!!?". "What are you talking about?"said Raphael "I don't see anything going on". "My hands are moving!"shouted Varon "But I'm not controlling them!". "Stop saying stupid things!"shouted Amelda "Now lets get in there before we end up having to sing and dance again!". Varon didn't understand what was happening and he tried to fight it, but it was no use. He unwillingly ended up grabbing the bottom of his shirt, he pulled it up, and flashed Raphael and Amelda.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!


	7. Hey Babe!

Author's note: Thanks for all the reveiws guys! I've been swamped with work but on with the story!

Disclaimer: I do not own Yugioh, any of the characters, Sesame Street, or any of the stores(if I did I'd be richer than Kaiba) :D

**Hey Babe!**

"What the Hell happened?"thought Raphael as he opened his eyes slowly and saw Amelda, Varon, and Dartz standing there staring at him. "Why am I on the floor?". "You fainted after Varon flashed those things at us!"said Amelda with a look of complete disgust "I never want to see those things again". "Yes they're like torpedos aren't they"said Dartz with a wicked chuckle "Varon might even be able to put someone's eye with them". "SHUT UP!"shouted Varon "Now I know you did this to me you dirty old pervert". Suddenly Raphael remembered the whole incident and yet again he started screaming since it was the second time he'd been forced to look at Varon's now female body. "I'M GOING BACK TO MY ROOM!"screamed Raphael as he suddenly jumped up and made a run for it "YOU CAN'T MAKE ME COME OUT!"

At that moment Dartz looked at his watch and realized that much to his horror he was already late for his appointment at the nail salon. "NO! Now I'm late and I'm not going to get the manicurist I want"shouted Dartz as his eye began to twitch "All because of you three morons". Amelda and Varon just stood there looking at Dartz like he was completely insane. "THAT'S IT! I'VE HAD IT WITH YOU THREE!"screamed Dartz "OFF YOU GO!". Suddenly Dartz snapped his fingers and Raphael, Amelda, and Varon vanished into thin air.

"Where are we heading?"screamed Varon as they traveled through some sort of weird vortex which spun them round and round like a washing machine "Please don't let it be Hooters!". "This is all your fault Varon!"shouted Amelda "If you hadn't flashed us then Raphael wouldn't have freaked out again!". "This is making me sick!"groaned Raphael as he clutched his stomach "Why is Master Dartz doing this to us?". "He's a sick old sadistic pervert that's why!"screamed Varon "Why don't you two ever listen to a word you say?". "It's hard to take someone who still watches Sesame Street even though they're a teenager seriously"said Amelda as he pointed at Varon "And don't deny it because I've walked in on you a few times!". "I wasn't watching it!"shouted Varon "I just like to channel surf and you always happen to walk in when Sesame Street happens to be on!". Varon kept quiet since he knew damn well that he had been watching Sesame Street...but that was his little secret.

"This will teach those fools not to keep me waiting" said Dartz as he went over and picked up his camcorder "It took me weeks go get that appointment!". Dartz was still pretty mad about the appointment, but then he realized that perhaps it had all happened for a reason. "Hmph I guess this is a good opportunity to follow them around nonstop"thought Dartz as he replayed some of the earlier footage he had gotten "After all this is the perfect chance to humilate those three and best of all it'll be on film". So Dartz closed his eyes, snapped his fingers, and was also on his way as well.

"Marik! Marik Ishtar!"shouted Ishizu as she walked down an escalator and noticed Marik was going up on the other "Wait for me at the top! We have to get you some new clothes!". The Ishtars, along with many others, were at the biggest mall in all of Domino since it had hundreds of different stores. "I'm not waiting for you"shouted Marik as he pulled out the Millenium Rod "There's nothing wrong with the clothes I have on!".

"Little brother did you forget you can't control my mind with the Millenium Rod?"said Ishizu as she reached the bottom of the escalator "Now once I get up there we're going to The Gap and you're getting something decent to wear for once!". It was always the same struggle each time Marik needed new clothes since he really hated shopping and usually Ishizu needed Odion to hogtie him in order to get him to the mall. "Dear Ra don't let her make it up here!" thought Marik "If you stop her somehow then I promise I'll be nice to everyone I meet from now on-er for the rest of the day". Suddenly a small vortex of some sort appeared directly over the bottom of the escalators and before anyone realized what was happening...

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

SPLAT THUMP THUMP

Raphael, Amelda, and Varon had fallen out of the vortex and their fall was broken by poor Ishizu. They were feeling pretty nauseous still from the vortex and the fall had only served to upset their stomach even more. "DEAR RA!"shouted Marik "My prayer was actually answered? But that doesn't mean I'm going to start being nice!". They all groaned and slowly began to get up and they soon realized where they were.

"Hey why are we in the mall?"said Raphael as he rubbed his neck "Is this where Master Dartz wanted to send us?". "The mall?"said Varon as he looked around and realized that Raphael was right "I can't be here looking like this!". Amelda just smirked since he realized why Varon was so afraid to be in the mall now that he was female. Varon usually liked to go to the mall just to stare at all the pretty girls and hit on them as well. Sometimes Varon even had huge groups of adolescent girls following him around since they thought he was so cute. Poor Amelda unfortunately though wasn't as lucky and he'd almost always end up getting hit on by guys who refused to believe that he was in fact male. "Lets see how much you like it when guys walk up to you and say "Hey babe!" said Amelda with smile "Now it's my turn to laugh at you!"

At that moment they finally noticed Ishizu sprawled out on the ground so Raphael helped her up even though she was still dazed. "Did anyone get the licence number of that truck?"said Ishizu as she struggled to stand "I think it was an eighteen wheeler...or maybe even a bulldozer"

The three quickly moved away before Ishizu went back to normal and realized exactly what had happened to her.

The three were also unsure of why Dartz had decided to send them to the mall. Luckily it was a place they liked anyways so they made the most of it. "Well we'd might as well split up like we always do"said Raphael as he thought of his favorite store "We can meet up by the fountain as usu-". Before Raphael even had a chance to finish his sentence, Amelda was already on the escalator leading to one of the upper levels and Varon was on one heading to the lower levels. So Raphael just shrugged and headed off to Brookstone to see if they had any more weird junk that he might possibly be interested in.

"Damn this stupid vortex!"screamed Dartz as he was spun around "I'm going to be sick in here!". Dartz had never really traveled via vortex and now that he had it would be the first and last time he did so. "What happened"thought Ishizu as she finally regained her composure "Why do I have a feeling that Marik was behind this somehow" Suddenly at that moment the vortex opened up and Dartz flew out of it at high speed and luckily his fall was broken as well...by Ishizu. "Stupid blasted vortex.."muttered Dartz as he stood up and checked to make sure he still had his camcorder "Now to find those three fools!". Dartz quickly jumped on the escalator and was on his way to look for them.

"This hasn't been my day..."groaned Ishizu who was still sprawled out on the ground "Sometimes I think Ra has cursed me...then again with Marik as my little brother I know it's true"

"Where can I hide?"thought Varon as he went down to the lower levels "What's a good place where no one in their right mind would ever go?". Varon thought for a few moments and finally he realized what to do. "I know" exclaimed Varon "I'll just follow Amelda! I doubt anyone would want to shop at whatever store it is where he gets his clothes!"


	8. How Unlucky Can One Guy Be?

Author's note: I know some people are wondering about why Amelda didn't follow Varon, but the guys still have a full day ahead of them...and plenty of chances for trouble so there's plenty of time for Amelda to laugh at Varon :)

Disclaimer: I do now own Yugioh, any of the characters, or any of the stores mentioned so don't sue me:D

**How Unlucky Can One Guy Be?**

An hour had passed since the trio and Dartz dropped into the mall, but so far they hadn't crossed paths. "Where on Earth are those fools?"thought Dartz as he looked around all over "I'm supposed to be getting lots of funny and humiliating footage on film!". He tried to remember what their favorite stores were, but with so many stores around it made it even more confusing.

"Think...think!"muttered Dartz to himself as he looked around "Raphael loves junk so he could be in any of these stores, Varon likes junk food but he wasn't in the foodcourt, and Amelda...". Dartz honestly had no clue what Amelda liked so he closed his eyes and began to think hard. "If I were Amelda where would I hide?"said Dartz as he looked around "Banana Republic? Express? Victoria's Secret? I'VE GOT IT! He's at Hot Topic!". Dartz then grabbed his camcorder and ran as quickly as he could to Hot Topic, but on his way there he failed to notice Brookstone.

"Is there anything else I can interest you in today sir?"said the salesman who had been helping Raphael "Anything at all?". "No thanks"said Raphael as he headed over to the register "I think I'm set for right now". "Hmm...there must be something else I can sell him" thought the salesman as he looked around "I've got a family to feed!". Suddenly he spotted something, picked it up, and said "We've got some amazing new pillows!". At that point Raphael's arms were filled with all sorts of junk including a cd player, a mini digital camera, a back massager, a self heating pillow, a self cooling pillow, a flashlight shaped like a pen, a pen shaped like a flashlight, a hammock, and an alarm clock shaped like a panda. "What's so special about the pillows?"said Raphael "I've already got two of them right here". "They're scented pillows!"said the salesman "They come in any fragrance you want!". "Even roast beef?"said Raphael who was suddenly intrigued by the idea of scented pillows.

The salespeople already knew about Raphael and each time he attempted to go and pay, all they had to do was tell him about the newest product. He always ended up wanting it and he'd buy at least two or three of whatever it was they were offering.

"What do you think of these pants Tea?"said Yugi as he stood in front of a mirror "Do you think they make me look cool?". Yugi and Tea were at Hot Topic since it was the only place that carried the kind ofpants that Yugi and Yami favored. "They look alright"said Tea "But they're about four inches too long for you". "Well lets see what Yami thinks"said Yugi as he suddenly switched places with the pharoah. "Dear Ra!"said Yami as he groaned when he realized just how tight the pants were "I can't breathe in these!". Tea suddenly blushed like crazy and said "But they make you look great! You should by them! The tighter the better!".

Meanwhile on the other side of the store Amelda was busy also trying to look for some new pants. "Why the Hell are these pants so short?"growled Amelda as he held up a pair"Not everyone is under six feet tall!". Amelda was usually able to find at least one pair of pants, but on this particular day it seemed like he was out of luck. Suddenly out of the corner of his eye, Amelda spotted a strange looking belt with some silver studs all over it on the other side of the store. "That belt!" exclaimed Amelda "I've been wanting one just like it for months!". Amelda ran as quickly as he could towards the belt and grabbed it, but unfortunately someone else had grabbed it at the same moment.

"Hey I saw this belt first!"exclaimed Tea who had decided to look around while Yamichanged back into his own pants"So let go!". "You let go!"shouted Amelda as he tugged it harder "I've been wanting this belt for months!". They both began to desperately tug at the belt in an attempt to get it away from each other andneither one was determined to give up.

During this time though Dartz made his way into the store and saw what was going on, so he found a good hiding spot and began to film.

"Heh heh heh" chuckled Dartz as he hid behind a rack of clotheswith his camcorder in hand "Here we have Amelda and some girl fighting over a belt, he should know better than to fight with a woman over clothes". Dartz was determined to get every second of the fight on film since it was beginning to turn more and more violent. "LET GO OF IT!"screamed Tea as she reached over and stomped Amelda's foot "I want this belt!". "OWW!"shouted Amelda from the pain but even then he didn't let go "You're not getting this belt, especially now!".

"No matter who wins this is going to be hilarious" said Dartz as he followed every second of the action "Although if Amelda loses it'll be even more hilarious and pathetic"

"Ahh"sighed Yami as he walked out of the dressing room in his own clothes carrying a huge pile of pants "I guess these should do, but I'm certainly not getting that last pair". Yami completely failed to notice the fight between Tea and Amelda, so he walked right by and headed straight to the register. "Anything else I can get you?"asked the girl at the register who had blue hair, multiple piercings, and tattoos. "No just this" said Yami as he pulled out Yugi's credit card, paid for all the pants, and just as quickly made his way out of the store without Tea.

"Where the heck is Amelda?"shouted Varon who was hiding behind a trashcan "I've been to all the women's clothes stores and still no sign of him!". Varon has spent the past hour looking in every single women's store. Varon soon discovered that being a woman that day had certain advantages. For one thing Varon had finally been able to see what went on in the dressing rooms without getting kicked out. "Well if I can't find him in awhile then I guess I'll go check out the dressing room at Victoria's Secret" said Varon with a sneaky chuckle "That's one of the places I've always wanted to go my entire life".

"Hey baby!" suddenly said Duke Devlin as he walked up behind Varon "So what's a fine girl like you doing all by yourself?". Varon quickly stood up, looked around, and said "Are you talking to me?". Duke wore a sly grin on his face as he eyed Varon from head to toe, absolutely liking everything he saw. "There's something familiar about this girl"thought Duke whonoticed herresemblance to Varon"But she's hot! I gotta get her number". Varon suddenly remembered all the times he'd laughed at Amelda when the same happened to him, but he knew exactly how to handle Duke.

"Hey look over there!"said Varon as he pointed in a random direction "A girl's skirt just fell down!". "Where?"exclaimed Duke as he quickly turned around to look "I don't see any-". That was the last thing Duke said before Varon's fist slammed into his face and sent him flying straight to the ground. Duke obviously wasn't going to be too happy when he woke up since his cheek was already starting to turn purple.

"Heheheh! That'll teach him"laughed Varon as Duke lay unconscious on the ground "Although I can't blame him since I do look pretty good as a woman..WHAT AM I SAYING?". Varon quickly looked around but then he immediately noticed a familiar sight. "Holy crap!" said Varon as he just stared in amazement "Where the heck is he going to put all of that?"

"Okay the roast beef pillow is for me, the cupcake one is for Amelda, and the cotton candy one is for Varon" thought Raphael as he was carrying at least twenty bags in his arms "Or should I just keep them all for myself?". Raphael was too busy pondering what to do so he walked right by Varon without noticing him and he continued on to where the escalators were. He had found out from the people at Brookstone that the Home Shopping Network now hadits own store located at that very mall, so there was no way he was going to pass that up.

"Strange" thought Yami as he walked down an escalator "I have a feeling that I'm missing something..I guess it's nothing important". Yami was more concerned at that moment with finding some new platform boots to wear with his new pants since the ones at Hot Topic weren't tall enough for his taste.

"Oooh that girl certainly can kick!"said Dartz who was still filming the fight "Oh but it seems Amelda has no remorse about kicking her back!". At that point both Amelda and Tea's legs were badly bruised since they had resorted to childish kicking in an attempt to make the other let go. Before long Tea kicked him in the knee and knocked him right down but he was still holding the belt! "Why won't you let go?"shouted Tea "This belt wouldn't look good on you anyways!". "Well it wouldn't look good on you either!"said Amelda as he suddenly reached up and kicked her in the leg. At that point she fell down and landed directly on him...still holding the belt.

They lay there momentarily just staring at each other in complete shock, but then they both quickly snapped out of it.

"I gotta go!"blurted Tea whose face was now bright red as she let go of the belt and quickly scrambled to her feet and out the store. Amelda's face was also bright red so he also just dropped the beltand headed out of the store as quickly as he could. The situation had been completely unexpected, so but now Amelda was really confused. "Why the Hell did I blush like that?"thought Amelda as he ran "Damn this really isn't my day!"

"All that for a belt and in the end neither one took it?"said Dartz as he zoomed in on the belt before picking it up "I must say it is quite fetching". So in the end Dartz decided that he liked it enough to buy it so he went right over to the register. "These belts certainly are popular aren't they?"asked Dartz as he pulled out his wallet "They must be very rare". "Are you kidding me?"said the blue haired girl "There's an entire rack of them over there!". She was right since indeed there was at least ten more belts located right next to the dressing room. "So all of that was for nothing?"chuckled Dartz as he remembered the fight "But the memories will last a lifetime!".


	9. Sexy Enemy?

Author's Note: Thanks for all the reviews guys! Oh and Marick's Dark Slave, please don't get too mad about what I put it. It's all in good fun.

Disclaimer: I do not own Yugioh or any of the stores so don't sue me!(If I did I'd be richer than Donald Trump) :)

**Sexy Enemy?**

"This is going to be the best day of my whole life!" thought Varon as he walked into Victoria's Secret with a huge grin plastered across his face "I'm going to go where no straight guy has gone before!". Indeed as soon as Varon entered he saw a sea of lacy, sexy, and very enticing lingerie and he immediately began to think naughty things. "Ooh I can just picture Mai in this"said Varon as he stopped and picked up a lacy pink bustier "Just thinking of it...whew! Did it get hot in here?".

Suddenly a salesgirl clad all in a black came up behind Varon and said "Would you like to try that on?". "Huh?"said Varon as he suddenly snapped out of it "Try what on?". "That bustier"said the salesgirl as she at Varon from head to toe "It looks like you're in need of one...am I correct?". Varon's female body was a bit too sexy for his tastes and what made it worse was that he wasn't wearing the appropriate undergarments. "What?" said Varon as he turned a bright shade of red and stammered "I can't try that on! Uh...I don't know my size!".

"Oh no problem!"said the girl as she suddenly pulled out a tape measure and put it around Varon's chest "It looks like you're a 36D!". "36D?"exclaimed Varon who couldn't believe just how "gifted" he was now "That's huge!". "This one should fit"said the salesgirl as she grabbed a bustier "I'll take you to a dressing room". So before Varon knew what was going on, he was being dragged off to a dressing room against his will. "Why don't things ever go the way I want them to?"thought Varon as the girl dragged him off.

Varon was used to always staying outside and pressing his face against the window along with all the other perverts. Unfortunately he didn't realize that on this particular day he got the attention of the two perverts who were currently spying on all the girls.

"Mmm that brown haired girl in the velour suit is hot!"said Tristan with a huge goofy grin "I'd like to take her out sometime". "Not before me ya are!"said Joey with a huge grin on his face "I'm gonna get a date with dat cutie before ya!". Joey and Tristan were the two resident perverts in front of Victoria's Secret. In fact they had gotten into a few fights with Varon over the best viewing spot.

"I'm gonna wait here til she comes out" thought Tristan confidently "There's no way she'd be able to resist me once I turn on the charm". "I'm gonna wait right here" thought Joey with a big creepy grin plastered across his face "Dat cutie's gonna go out with me once I show her just how charmin' Joey Wheeler can be". So they both remained glued to their spots just waiting for the "cutie" to reappear.

"Now my mindslaves you'll do as I say!" said Marik as he pointed the Millenium Rod at a group of people. Marik didn't just go to the mall for fun, he also went since it was a great place to find new mindslaves. He then took out a few blank nametags, handed out some pens, and said "Now all of you write "Marik's Dark Slave" on your nametags!". The current group of mindslaves consisted of men, women, a few old geezers, and the giggly little teenage girls who usually loved to follow Varon around. "Now put on those nametags!"commanded Marik as he brandished the Millenium Rod over his head "I don't want anyone to get seperated from the group and end up at the Lost and Found!". The group immediately obeyed and put on their nametags as Marik walked around to check .

"Excellent!" said Marik as he personally inspected each one and made sure they had a nametag "Wait! What in Ra's name is this?". There was one person in the group who put "Marick's Dark Slave" on their nametag, and this was enough to shock Marik. "How dare you misspell my name?"shouted Marik as he ripped it off, stomped it, and pointed the Millenium Rod at the person "That's it! You can't be my mindslave!". He then freed the person who was pretty confused since the last thing they remembered was sitting peacefully on a bench before everything went black. "Now the rest of you follow me!" shouted Marik as he began to lead the way "The Pharoah is here and it's my duty to push him down the escalator so I can become the new Pharoah!"

"So how's everything going in there hon?"asked the woman attending the dressing room at Victoria's Secret "Does that bustier fit?". "Uh...I don't think I'm going to get it" said Varon who was just sitting in the corner of the dressing room "I don't like the color!". Varon had spent his entire time just sitting there since there was no way in Hell he was ever going to put on a bustier. "I'm supposed to be spying on the sexy girls"thought Varon as he looked at himself in the mirror "Not trapped in a dressing room with some crazy woman asking me if my bustier fits!".

"Well that bustier also comes in black"said the woman "Would you like to try that one instead?". "No!"shouted Varon as the tossed the bustier out of the dressing room "I don't want to try it on no matter what color it comes in!". He then ran out of the dressing room and began to head out of the store. "This was a complete waste of time"muttered Varon as he looked at his watch "I'd might as well start looking for Amelda again".

"And here we have Varon acting like quite the little diva" said Dartz who filming the whole thing while hiding under a table where the perfumes were displayed "But that'll soon be over as soon as he steps outside". Dartz had overheard Joey and Tristan's mindless ramblings about a sexy brown haired girl in a velour suit, so he immediately realized who it was. Suddenly a group of girls wearing very short miniskirts walked up to the table where Dartz was and began to look at all the different perfumes. "Change of plans" thought Dartz to himself as gave a perverted smile and placed the camera at a strategic angle so he could look up their skirts "Yes this is much more entertaining!"

Joey and Tristan's eyes lit up when they saw Varon heading towards the exit. "Yes here she comes!" blurted Tristan when he saw Varon "Heheh look at how she jiggles when she walks!". That was the last thing Tristan said, since the following moment Joey kicked him in the head and knocked him unconscious.

"Now dis cutie's gonna be all for me!"said Joey as he ran a hand through his messy time "And now it's showtime!". Joey then ran directly in front of Varon, flashed a smile, and said "Hey dere cutie, I'm Joey what's your name?". "WHAT THE HELL?"shouted Varon "What are you hitting on me for Wheeler?". "Oh so ya've heard of da great Joey Wheeler?" said Joey with a confident smile as he ran his hand through his hair again "I'm one of da best duelists around!". Varon suddenly realized that Joey didn't know it was him and he didn't want to blow his cover. "Get the Hell away from me!"shouted Varon as he turned away "I'm not interested!"

Suddenly Amelda staggered up to where Varon was, looking as if though he had just run a marathon. "Can't...take...another...step" said Amelda as he struggled to catch his breath "Need...to...rest". "Amelda!" shouted Varon as he looked at his friend "Where the Hell have you been?". Amelda couldn't even talk and he simply collapsed close to where Tristan was.

At that moment Tristan woke up and when he looked over, his breath was taken away. "Such beauty!" exclaimed Tristan as he saw the redheadkneeling right next to him "My name's Tristan! Andwhat's your namebeautiful?". The next thing Tristan felt was a fist crashing into his face and everything quickly went dark yet again."No one calls me beautiful"growled Amelda as he pulled himself up "And anyone who does gets my fist in their face!". Amelda then staggered off in another direction and Varon quickly followed him since he didn't want to be left alone.

Some sudden screams were heard coming from the Victoria's Secret and suddenly a group of women emerged from the store holding someone.

"And stay out of here you dirty pervert!" shouted a salesgirl at Victoria's Secret as she and several other salesgirls tossed Dartz out of the store "You're not welcome here!". One of salesgirl caught Dartz sticking his camera up her skirt, so they all grabbed him and beat him up. "Well your legs are hairy!"shouted Dartz as he pulled himself off of the ground and made sure his camcorder was still working "If you rub your legs together you could start a fire!". He then muttered something under his breath and headed towards the escalator.

Joey was completely smitten with the lovely brown haired, blue eyed girl in the velour suit who oddly enough reminded him of someone, was he wasn't quite sure. "Dat's da most beautiful and sexy girl I've seen today" sighed Joey as he thought of female Varon"I'm not gonna rest til I get her number or my name's not Joey Wheeler!". Suddenly his stomach growled really loud. "First some grub, den I'll get her number!" said Joey as he ran off to the foodcourt.


	10. Flushdance Part 1

Author's note: Well I'm going to have to do this chapter in two parts. Oh and alot of things that aren't too certain in this chapter will be cleared up in the next one! So keep an eye out for Raphael's bags :)

Disclaimer: I do not own Yugioh, any of the stores, or any of the songs/cds mentioned, so don't sue me:)

**Flushdance: Part 1**

"Hmm these shoes still aren't tall enough" said Yami as he observed the massive black platform boots with buckles on his feet "Do you have anything taller?". "But sir those shoes are seven inches high!" exclaimed the shoe salesgirl as she eyed the shoes Yami wore "Don't you think they're tall enough?". "I'll tell you when they're tall enough!" snapped Yami who didn't like to be questioned about his taste in shoes "Now do you have anything taller or not?". Yami was still in search of the perfect platform boot but so far he had tried on dozens of pairs and he still hadn't found one he liked. "I'll see if I can find a pair" said the salesgirl as she looked at the huge pile of platform boots that Yami had tried on.

"I can't believe some of these customers!" growled the salesgirl as she made her way into the back to the stockroom "They're absolutely horrible!". "That's nothing compared to her!" said the salesman as he pointed to an all too familiar blonde clad in VERY short shorts "She always comes here, tries on dozens of shoes, and never buys anything!".

"Hurry up with those stilleto boots!" shouted Mai as she held a black platform stilleto boot in her hands "I haven't got all day you know!". After getting her nails done, Mai decided to roam the mall in search of the latest fashions. "Looking good takes time" thought Mai as she played with her hair while she waited for the boots "So I guess Varon's new little girlfriend must pay no attention to her appearance". She then chuckled to herself but this was soon over when the salesman who had been helping her came back. "Sorry Miss but we're all out the black stilleto boots" lied the salesman since he hadn't even gone to look for them "We've been out of them for days"

SLAP

"That's a lie and you know it!"shouted Mai after she slapped the salesman across the face "If you've been out of them for days what do you call what he's wearing?. Mai immediately pointed in the direction of the nearest mirror and surely enough there stood Yami wearing the same platform stilleto boots that she wanted.

"These are the tallest shoes you've got?" said Yami with a puzzled look on his face as he looked down at his feet "But these are women's boots!". "Well you said you wanted tall boots right?" said the salesgirl with a smug look on her face "You didn't specify for what sex though". Yami turned several shades of red before quickly pulling the boots off, picking up the black platform boots with buckles, and paying for them very quickly. "If anyone found out about this my reputation would be ruined" thought Yami to himself as he hastily made his way to the door "Thank Ra none of Yugi's friends were around".

"I'll take my business elsewhere!" shouted Mai as she looked at the salesman "Since you're obviously not willing to help me!". The salesman had a triumphant smile since he was about to get rid of the customer from Hell. All of this changed though when Mai noticed him smiling over his "victory". She then kicked him in stomach, slapped him across the face once again, and slapped him with her purse. "Let that be a lesson to you!" shouted Mai as she pulled her purse back onto her shoulder "No one messes with Mai Valentine!". She then stormed out the door of the store and headed towards the nearest escalator.

"It's days like these that make me want to go back to scooping poop at the pet shop" groaned the salesman as he clutched his stomach "At least I had my dignity..."

After a rather large shopping spree at the Home Shopping Network store, Raphael's credit cards were completely maxed out so he had no choice but to stop shopping. "I guess I should have just gotten one musical blender" thought Raphael as he hauled at least thirty to fifty bags in his arms "But it's a good idea to have a backup in case one breaks". He then got on an escalator heading up to another floor and when he reached the top he dropped all of his bags in complete shock. There stood a store called "Ahhs" which was filled from end to end with weird, colorful, and downright useless junk that only appealed to weirdos...and Raphael. Raphael's eyes lit up like a little kid in a candy store as he stood in front of the store, but then he realized he was broke. "I NEED MORE MONEY!" suddenly exclaimed Raphael as he broke into a mad dash "But where do I get some?". He then remembered that there was an ATM machine nearby, so he completely disregarded his earlier purchases and headed towards it.

"And here we have all the worthless garbage Raphael bought" said Dartz as he zoomed in on Raphael's bags and then he pulled something out "What kind of moron needs a blender that plays the song 'Livin La Vida Loca'?". Dartz was sometimes appalled and disgusted with some of the junk Raphael bought, and today was obviously no exception. "Well I guess I should do something nice for once" thought Dartz as his eyes scanned all the bags "I'll help Raphael dispose of this garbage!". He then snapped his fingers and all of the bags were sucked into a vortex and were headed off to an unknown location.

Dartz then chuckled and walked off quickly in search of Amelda and Varon for even more incriminating and humiliating footage of the two.

"Why do we have to go into this music store?" whined Varon as he stood behind Amelda "There's too many people in there!". Amelda was beginning to get pissed off that Varon was following him, so he decided to get rid of him one way or another. "That's exactly why I chose this store" said Amelda with a smirk on his face "You're free to go off if you want". "Fine I will!" said Varon as he stomped his foot and began to walk off "But if you need to borrow money or something, don't come crying to me!".

Amelda was satisfied that he had managed to get rid of him, so he headed into the music store. "I wonder if they have the cd I want?" thought Amelda as his eyes scanned the store "They're always sold out of it". He then decided to head over to the listening stations to see if they had a sample of the cd he wanted to buy. He walked all the way to the back of the store and noticed that it was pretty much empty. "It's a good thing Varon didn't notice this place is almost empty" thought Amelda to himself "I don't want him hanging around me since he whines too much". Amelda suddenly stopped in his tracks right when he reached the listening station since he saw something downright disturbing...well several things actually.

"Power to world spice up your life! Every boy and every girl! Spice up your life! People of the world! Spice up your life!" sang Pegasus at the top of his lungs as he wore headphones and did the robot "Slam it to left if you're having a time, shake it to right if you know that feel right..". Pegasus was so into his song that he was completely oblivious to what was going on around..which could be considered a good thing. "Thought that I was going crazy! Just having one of those days yeah! Didn't know what to do!" sang the usually shy Bakura at the top of his lungs while shaking his hips "Then there was you! Then everything went from wrong to right...". Bakura's singing wasn't as bad as Pegasus, but his dancing was alot more disturbing. There was one other person putting on a little show, but this one was the strangest of all. "In the navy! Come on and join your fellow man!" sang Mako Tsunami at the top of lungs while disco dancing like he was having a flashback to the seventies "Come now people make a stand, can't you see we need a helping hand?". Mako's singing was even worse than Pegasus and Bakura, although he was the best dancer in the bunch.

Amelda quickly ran off before he ended up deaf to all the horrible singing and decided to search for the cd he wanted. When he was finally approaching the display he realized that there was exactly one copy of the cd sitting there. "At last!" shouted Amelda as he suddenly ran towards the cd at full speed "I'm finally going to own it!". But right when Amelda grabbed the cd, someone else grabbed it as well. "Hey get your hands of this cd!" snarled Amelda without even looking up "This is mine!". "You again?" suddenly Tea shouted as she tightened her grip on the cd "I wasn't able to get that belt, but I'm getting this cd!". Amelda couldn't believe his rotten luck, so he just tightened his grip on the cd as well and they began to have another tug of war.

"How can my checking account be overdrawn?" thought Raphael as he sadly dragged himself back towards where "Ahhs" was located "Why? I still want to do some shopping!". Once he got there though he realized that he had yet another reason to be upset. "Where did my bags go?" exclaimed Raphael when he realized they weren't there "I was gone for less than a minute!". Suddenly it dawned on Raphael that he was going to have to pay for all of the stuff even if it had all vanished. "NO!" shouted Raphael at the top of his lungs as he threw himself on his knees "I didn't even get to enjoy my Ricky Martin blender...and worst of all I still have to pay for it!"

"So...you need money do you?" said a mysterious person as they walked up to Raphael who was still on his knees "If you do what I say then perhaps we can work something out?". Raphael immediately looked up and he was surprised when he realized who it was.

"I can't believe this day!" thought Varon to himself as he sat on a lone bench eating a corndog in a deserted part of the mall "First I wake up like this, then Dartz humilates me, then worst of all Joey Wheeler hit on me!". Varon's always bought several corndogs when he went to the mall, even if he wasn't hungry . The reason Varon liked to buy them was because the girls who worked at the corndog stand would always stomp their own lemonade. When they did they put on quite a show and all the perverts watching them(like Varon) got a free show. Varon then took a huge bite out of the corndog, chewed it, and swallowed it before realizing that it was almost completely gone. "Hmm those girls are usually stomping the lemonade at this time" said Varon with a sneaky chuckle and a sly grin on his face "So I guess it's time for me to get another corndog".

"Hey dere babe!" suddenly said Joey as he plopped down next to Varon on the bench while holding at least ten corndogs in his hands "So ya like dese corndogs too huh?". The corndogs were all dripping ketchup and mustard, almost all of which ended up on Joey's shirt. Joey didn't care though and he was still trying to be as smooth as possible to impress the mysterious brown haired girl in the velour suit. "Why won't he leave me alone?" thought Varon to himself "Why can't he go bother someone else for once?"


	11. Flushdance Part 2

Author's Note: Thanks to everyone for reviewing! Varon is just a glutton(like Joey) so no matter how much he eats he doesn't get sick :) Ahh I would have updated earlier but I have evil teachers who give way too much homework!

Disclaimer: I do not own Yugioh, any of the stores, or any of the songs/cds so don't sue me:D

**Flushdance Part 2**

"Oh I hate stomping these stupid lemons" growled a girl wearing a too tight t-shirt and a ridiculous looking red, yellow, and blue hat that made up her uniform as she bounced up and down "Every single pervert in the mall stops to watch!". Indeed there was a group of men ranging from snot-nosed pre-teens to dirty old men. "Tell me about it!" said another girl wearing the same thing as she also stomped lemons "And why the Hell is that guy over there filming us?". "Mmm these corndogs certainly are quite good" said Dartz as he held a corndog in one hand and his camcorder in the other "But not as good as watching this". Dartz knew Varon liked food so he figured he might find him in the foodcourt, but now he got sidetracked and completely forgot all about his search. "Hmm I have a feeling I was supposed to do something" thought Dartz as he took another bite of his corndog "Well I guess it was nothing important"

"Your mission if you choose to accept it would be this" said Ishizu as she took out a manila envelope and handed it to Raphael who still needed money "It's going to be a very dangerous mission". Raphael couldn't believe that the person who was offering him money was none other Ishizu Ishtar. He had no clue what Ishizu wanted him to do, but Raphael could only fear the worst after what he, Amelda, and Varon had done to her earlier.

"I bet it's something horrible" thought Raphael as he cautiously opened the envelope "Then again can anything be worse than some of the things Master Dartz makes us do?". Much to Raphael's surprise the envelope contained nothing more than a picture of a blonde haired teenage boy with violet eyes, gold jewelry,more eyeliner than most women, and a white bellyshirt. "I guess crossdressing is more common than I thought" said Raphael to himself as he glanced down at the picture "But is he part of the mission?. "That's my little brother Marik and it'll be up to you to take him down" said Ishizu as she looked up at Raphael "He has to be stopped before he tries to push the Pharoah down the escalator". Raphael twitched with anger for a moment when he realized someone else was after the Pharoah. "If anyone's going to push the Pharoah down the escalator then it's going to be ME!" thought Raphael as he continued twitching from the rage "This boy is a good as dead!". "Good so we have a deal!" said Ishizu who already knew that Raphael was going to accept thanks to the Millenium Necklace "You'll recieve your money once you handle Marik". She then promptly walked off and Raphael was left with the picture of Marik.

"You're going down!" thought Raphael as crumpled the picture of Marik in his hand and ran in the direction of the nearest escalators "And the best part is I'm going to get money for this even though I'd have done it for free"

CRASH

"GET YOUR HANDS OFF OF THIS CD!"screamed Tea as she pushed Amelda backwards into a display full of discount Britney Spears cds "IT'S MINE!". "NEVER!" shouted Amelda who was still holding on to the cd as he struggled to get up "I need this more than you!". Amelda quickly got to his feet, gritted his teeth, tightened his grip on the cd, and this time swung Tea around and around as fast as he could. "This should work on her" thought Amelda to himself "After all it works everytime Varon tries to take the remote control" "Stop that!" screamed Tea as she still held on to the cd "I'm getting dizzy!". "Okay anything you say" said Amelda with a sarcastic smile as he suddenly came to a stop "Is that better?". The sudden stop caused Tea to finally let go and she stumbled backwards and crashed right into a display of 99 cent cds. Amelda then ran as quickly as he could towards the register with the cd in hand. "I'm almost there!" said Amelda as he approached the register" Just a little-"

POW

Before Amelda knew what was happening, he was tackled by Tea who had pretty much gone crazy at that point. "What the Hell?" said Amelda when he looked back and realized that Tea had been the one that attacked him "Oh crap! She went nuts!". Indeed Tea had a look of complete and utter insanity in her eyes and a maniacal expression on her usually friendly face. " GIVE ME THAT CD!" screamed Tea as suddenly pulled off her belt and wrapped it around his neck "OTHERWISE I'LL HURT YOU!". To show Amelda that she meant business, she suddenly tightened the belt and began to choke him. "I-don't have it!" blurted out Amelda as he thought quickly and struggled to keep the insane girl from choking him to death "I don't know where it went!". "What?" said Tea as she suddenly snapped out of it and let go of the belt "You don't have the cd? Then where did it go?". "I think I dropped it when you attacked me.." said Amelda as he quickly removed the belt from around his neck before she went nuts again "It must be somewhere on the ground". Tea then got up and began to retrace Amelda's steps in hopes of finding the lost cd. "That was close.." said Amelda as he quickly got up and pulled out the cd which had been hidden under him the entire time "I'd pay for this and get the Hell out of here!".

"An den afta duelisht kingdom" said Joey with his mouth full of half chewed corndog and some mustard dribbling down his chin "Den I ent on oo 'attle city"

Varon just cringed and felt his stomach churn since for the past few minutes he had been forced to watch Joey stuff five corndogs into his mouth(at the same time). "This is the most disgusting thing I've ever seen!" thought Varon as a wave of nausea washed over him and he clutched his stomach "I've seen animals with better manners!". Joey quickly swallowed the corndogs and began to inch closer to Varon. "Dose eyes..dat hair..dat bod!" thought Joey to himself as he admired Varon from head to toe "She's one of da prettiest girls I've eva' seen..plus I think she likes me too". Joey kept getting closer and closer to Varon, while Varon moved further and further away til he reached the end of the bench. "If I were back to normal I'd beat the daylights out of Wheeler!" thought Varon to himself "But as long as I'm stuck like this I can't let anyone know it's me!". Varon's train of thought was interrupted when Joey lost his grip one of the corndogs and it landed on Varon's lap and splattered mustard everywhere. "Ooops sorry bout dat" said Joey as he nonchalantly reached over, picked up the corndog, and took a bite of it "Say did ya want a bite?"

"Keep your corndogs to yourself!" shouted Varon as he suddenly pushed Joey backwards and away from him "You're the most disgusting person I've ever seen!". Varon had had all he could take and Joey's corndogs had only helped piss him off even more. "Aww you don't mean dat do ya babe?" said Joey with a hurt look on his face in a lame attempt to score some sympathy(and something else) "It was just an accide-". Before Joey even had time to react(or finish his sentence) he saw Varon's foot flying towards him and the next thing he felt was excruciating pain. "Oops it was an accident" said Varon as he looked down at Joey with an innocent look on his face "Just that and nothing more". Joey had been maced, punched, and kicked by lots of girls over the years, but never by one as hot as this one. "Y-y-you k-k-kicked me in da-"cried Joey in a high pitched voice as he curled up on the ground grabbing his crotch "I-I-I'm so flatte-mmmph!". Once again Joey was unable to finish his sentence since Varon quickly knelt down, picked up one of the corndogs, and shoved it in Joey's mouth. Varon was pretty satisfied at that moment so he simply walked off, but not before shouting "Maybe this'll teach you to keep your corndogs to yourself Wheeler!"

"What the Hell is wrong with all the shoe stores in this stupid mall?" fumed Mai as she went up one of the escalators "They don't have black stilleto heeled boots! And the ones that do pretend they don't!".

Mai had searched in every single ladies shoe store in search of the same boots Yami had worn earlier, but so far no luck. "Am I cursed not to have the shoes I want?" screamed Mai at the top of her lungs not caring who heard her "Whose soul do I have to steal to get those boots?". Suddenly she felt someone tap her on the back so she quickly spun around. "I know exactly how you feel" said Yami with a sigh as looked down at one of the shopping bags he was holding "I bought some boots, but they're not as tall as I want". "It's bet it's because I'm so beautiful!" huffed Mai as she put her hands on her hips "I can't help being so beautiful, so talented, and so fashionable!". "Hmm I wonder if that's the reason why I can't find the boots I want?" said Yami as he pondered Mai's words "Well for now I'd settle for those boots". They both quickly reached the top of the stairs but when they did...they saw it.

On this particular floor stood a massive store called "Pirates Boot-E" and they sold nothing BUT boots of every size, style, and color. "Can it be?" exclaimed Yami as his eyes opened wide and he dropped all of his shopping bags "Sweet Ra it is!". Suddenly without any warning Yami and Mai joined hands and began to salsa dance from the sheer happiness. "A store with nothing but boots!" shouted Mai excitedly as they danced up a storm in front of the store"Now I can get my black stilleto heel boots!". "Thank you Ra!" shouted Yami as he and Mai continued dancing back and forth in front of the store "Now I'll finally be able to get black platform boots that are at least 12 inches high!". Yami and Mai were so happy at that point though that they just continued dancing like two idiots,instead of actually going into the store.

"Ugh I'm so damn sick of this cd!" muttered the pink haired girl working the register at the music store as Amelda handed her the cd "And those guys over there are really getting on my nerves!"

"Look at your watch now! You're still a superhot female! You've got your millon dollar contract!" shrieked Pegasus in a voice loud enough for the entire music store to hear "And they're all waiting for your hot track! Whatcha waitin, Whatcha waitin, Whatcha waitin for?". Pegasus was now dancing as if though he had watched one too many aerobics videos since all he was doing was bouncing around. "I can't wait to go back to Japan, get me lots of brand new fans" sang Bakura with his eyes closed as he gripped his headphones "Osaka, Tokyo, You harajuku girls..damn you got some wicked style!". Bakura was still the best singer in the group, but right now it seemed as if though he actually believed that he was performing on a stage. "Tick tock tick tock tick tock tick tock" sang Mako at the top of his lungs in a voice almost as bad as Pegasus "Take a chance you stupid ho!". Mako was now dancing as if though he had seen the movie 'Flashdance' one too many times...which was not really a pretty sight.

"If you don't like your job then quit and stop complaining about it" muttered Amelda as he looked around to make sure Tea hadn't come back "Now how much is this cd?". The pink haired girl couldn't believe what Amelda had just said to her, so she decided that she was going to make him pay. "Cd?" said the pink haired girl as she suddenly gave a wicked smile "What cd are you talking about?". "The cd you're holding in your hands!" growled Amelda who was starting to get pissed off "Now how much is it?". "Oh this cd!" said the girl in a sarcastic tone of voice as she suddenly tossed it into one of the aisles in the back "Oops my bad!". A sudden girly cry was heard somewhere in the aisle and Amelda's eyes opened wide when he realized who it had probably hit. "No! She can't have that cd!" shouted Amelda as he suddenly burst into a dash towards the aisle "Not after she tried to strangle me!". When Amelda finally reached the end of the aisle he was shocked, disgusted, and scared when he realized what had actually happened. "Oh what was that?" groaned Pegasus as he rubbed his head and looked down to see what hit him "I wonder what-OOOH! A copy of L.A.M.B! I've been wanting this cd for months!". Pegasus then picked up the cd and happily ran towards the register as quickly as he could. The evil pink haired girl quickly took the cd, scanned it, looked at the register and said "That'll be 12.34 please". "Keep the change!" said Pegasus as he put a 20 dollar bill on the counter and happily took his cd "This has certainly been the best day ever!"

"THAT WAS MY CD!" shouted Amelda as he ran towards the register and tried his best not to strangle the pink haired girl "I'm going to-". "You can't do anything to me! Otherwise I'll call security" said the pink haired girl with an smug grin on her face "Besides I'm a girl so you can't hit me!". "No but I can!" shouted Tea as she suddenly charged towards the girl and began to choke her "How could you sell it to someone else? I WANTED IT!". Tea was so enraged(and temporarily insane) that within seconds the pink haired girl was unconscious, so Tea just let her drop to the floor. "Hmph! That's also for the time she made fun of me for buying that Kylie Minogue cd" said Tea as she went back to normal, climbed down the counter, and turned around "Hey what are you looking at?". Amelda stood there staring at her with a look of complete and utter disbelief plastered across his face. "Weirdo" said Tea as she just shook her head and headed back into one of the aisles as if though nothing had happened. "I feel weird.." said Amelda as he felt his cheeks burn as he remembered what he had seen "I think I need a drink!". He then quickly ran out of the store as quickly as he could.

"Damn why does that stupid Marik kid have all those people with him?" muttered Raphael as he followed Marik and his mind slaves at a fair distance "Who are they anyways?"

"Where is that blasted Pharoah?" shouted Marik as he looked in every direction possible while his army of mindslaves followed him"I haven't seen him once today!". "We know Master Marik" said all the mindslaves in unison "You haven't seen him today". "SHUT UP! No one told you to speak" shouted Marik as he stopped in his tracks and the Millenium Rod glowed "Just for that you're going to slap yourselves!". Suddenly all of the mindslaves raised their right arm and began to slap themselves across the face while Marik just smirked."I could just push him down the stairs" thought Raphael as he observed Marik "Or should I just steal his soul?". Raphael was still trying to decide which would be the best approach to taking out Marik, when suddenly something got his attention. "THE PHAROAH!" shrieked Marik at this top of his lungs when he looked to the upper level "THERE HE IS!". Mai and Yami were still busy dancing from the happiness of their discovery, despite the fact that they still hadn't set foot in the store. "The Pharoah!" said Raphael when he realized what Marik had seen "I have to make my move soon!". Marik's eyes glistened with glee when he realized that Yami was not only distracted, but he was extremely close to one of the escalators. "Now's my chance!" shouted Marik while his mindslaves still continued slapping themselves "Soon I'll be the new Pharoah!". Before Raphael even had time to react, Marik had already run halfway up the escalator. "Oh no you don't!" shouted Raphael as he ran towards the escalators "I'm not going to let you-What's that?"

At that moment a vortex appeared directly over the escalator and before anyone knew what was happening, it began to shoot things out. "WHAT IN RA'S NAME IS THIS?" screamed Marik as he was suddenly hit in the head with various small objects such as pillows, dvds, and books "Is this a joke?". Suddenly some shopping bags flew out of the vortex at high speed and fell directly on Marik and knocked him backwards. "AHHHHHH!" screamed Marik as he tumbled down the escalator and fell to the bottom "Why is this happening?". "My bags!" shouted Raphael who was completely overjoyed at that moment since he felt like he was being reunited with a loved one "I thought I'd never seen them again!". Raphael just stood there and watched as the bags continued flying out of the vortex and crashing right into Marik who was now sprawled out on the ground. "Make it stop!" groaned Marik who at this point was seeing stars after repeatedly being pelted with shopping bags "Mindslaves do something!". The mindslaves were still busy slapping themselves so there was no way they could rescue Marik. Suddenly the shower of bags stopped and Marik slowly sat up and rubbed his head. "Must...kill...pharoah" groaned Marik as he struggled to stand up "Must...get...wait do I hear 'Livin La Vida Loca'?". Before anyone had a chance to answer, a lone blender suddenly flew out of the vortex, hit Marik in the head, and knocked him unconscious. "I knew that blender would come in handy" said Raphael as he walked around gathering up all of his bags "I just never thought it would double as a weapon".

"WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?" cried one of the girls at the corndog stand when Dartz somehow found his way behind the counter "Get out of here!".

Dartz was getting tired of having to buy corndog after corndog in order to get a view of the girls up close, so he decided to do the next best thing. "Me?" said Dartz who was busy zooming his camera in on the girl's tight shirt "Why I'm supervising...". "Get out of here you dirty pervert!" shouted the other girl at the corndog stand "Don't make us hurt you!". "Yes and how do you propose to hurt me?" said Dartz as he began to zoom in on the other girl's shirt "With corndogs? Believe me after living to be 10,000 years old absolutely nothing can stop me!". "Oh yeah?" shouted the girls as they suddenly reached under the counter and pulled out a hose "You asked for it!". Suddenly before Dartz knew what was going on, he was being sprayed with fresh squeezed lemonade. "MY EYES!" shouted Dartz as the girls mercilessly soaked him from head to toe "IT GOT IN MY EYES!". He then ran out of the corndog stand at full speed, but he ended up crashing into a wall and knocking himself unconscious. "Yeah!" shouted the two girls at the corndog stand when they saw what had happened "He'll think twice before pulling that again!". They then went back to stomping lemons for the lemonade, but they noticed that no one was watching them since all of the usual perverts had vanished for some reason.


	12. Amelda's Adventure

Author's note: Thanks for all the reviews guys! Ahh I felt so bad about not updating the last chapter(it was just sitting there) but like I said my evil teachers seem think that I just live and breathe homework!

Disclaimer: I do not own Yugioh or any of the characters so don't sue me:)

**Amelda's Adventure**

"Do you think he's alive?" said a little boy with super messy brown hair as he looked down at Dartz who was still sprawled out on the floor after running into a wall "I think he's dead!".

The boy was accompanied by two other little boys who were equally curious about the strange man. "Why is there yellow water around him?" asked a little boy with blonde hair as he nudged Dartz a bit with his shoe "Did he pee in his pants?". The yellow water was in reality nothing more than the lemonade Dartz had been squirted with, but they didn't know that. "He peed in his pants!" said a little boy with messy red hair as he pointed at Dartz "I bet he's a bed wetter too!". "I didn't know adults peed in their pants" giggled the brown haired boy "Hey why don't we poke him?".

So the boys wasted no time in starting to poke Dartz with some sticks left over from the corndogs that people ate. Dartz's camera was nearby and it was still working so the whole incident and everything the boys said was being filmed.

"Right now I'm so happy to have my things back that nothing else matters!" thought Raphael as he finished gathering the last of his shopping bags "Can this day get any better?"

Marik was still out like a light and at that point the mindslaves had all vanished since Marik's control over them was broken when he lost consciousness. Suddenly Raphael heard someone clapping and when he turned around there stood Ishizu. "The mission was a success thanks to you" said Ishizu who had seen the entire thing "The Pharoah is safe, Marik is under control, and you even freed the mindslaves". Ishizu then handed Raphael an envelope before walking over, grabbing Marik by the collar, and dragging him off towards the escalator. Raphael cautiously opened the envelope, but instead of money he found a note

_'Dear Raphael,_

_I sincerely appreciate you helping me stop my evil little brother in yet another one of his stupid schemes for global domination. I know I promised you money, but thanks_

_to the help of a random observer(Lets call him R. Raptor...wait' that's too obvious, I'll call him Rex. R) it was brought to my attention that you're the one who crushed me earlier and possibly gave me a concussion. Well_

_I'm not one to back out on a promise, so here's something else I think you'll enjoy that's as good as money: a gift certificate to the corndog stand. Enjoy! Love Ishizu'_

"What?" said Raphael as looked in the envelope and found the certificate which was good for ten corndogs "But I wanted money!". Raphael just sighed, stuffed the gift certificate into one of the pockets of his trenchcoat. "I guess I could sell it to Varon or something" thought Raphael as he pouted like a five year old "I should be able to get at least ten dollars for it".

"Raphael!" suddenly cried a shrill female voice which was not only loud, yet oddly familiar. Raphael turned around just in time to see Varon running towards him and nearly crashing into him. "What do you want?" asked Raphael who at that point had forgotten about the earlier "incident". "Can I please hang out with you?" whined Varon as he looked pleadingly at Raphael "I'm sick of being hit on by that stupid Wheeler!". "Sure, but long as you're here I've got something that might interest you" said Raphael as he suddenly reached into his pocket and pulled out the gift certificate "You like corndogs right?". "Corndogs?" shouted Varon who had a sudden flashback to the incident with Joey "I don't know if I'll ever want to eat corndogs ever again after what I saw!". "Damn...maybe I can sell it to Amelda" thought Raphael as he and Varon began to walk "He's bound to have some money".

"This day has got to be one of the worst days of my life" thought Amelda to himself as he looked at the empty soda cups that sat on the table "And worst of all I'm still thirsty!".

So far Amelda had drunk somewhere between eight to ten sodas and luckily his bladder hadn't exploded at that point. "I guess it's time for another soda" said Amelda as he stood up and walked over to buy another one "Maybe after this one I won't be thirsty". He calmly walked through the foodcourt and noticed Varon's favorite place in the entire foodcourt. "If I had to dress like them I think I'd shoot myself" thought Amelda to himself as he walked by the corndog stand "They look absolutely ridiculous". Amelda never suspected that the girls at the corndog stand were thinking the exact same thing when they saw him. "If I ever had to dress up like that guy I think I'd shoot myself" said one of the girls as she put some corndogs in the deep fryer "He looks even girlier than me". They both then snickered and continued frying up junk food.

Amelda continued walking and he happened to pass by the spot where Dartz lay and completely failed to notice the three boys poking and prodding his boss. "Hey I'm going to stick his finger in his nose!" giggled the brown haired boy who was the youngest of the three "That way it'll look like he's picking his nose!". He quickly grabbed Dartz's hand, pulled out his index finger, and shoved it up his nose. "Ewwww! He's picking his nose!" shouted the blonde haired boy who was the oldest of the three "He's nasty!". The three boys then quickly picked up the corndog sticks and were about to poke Dartz once again when it happened...

"LEMONS!" shouted Dartz as he suddenly jumped up(with his finger still in his nose) "LEMONS EVERYWHERE!". At that point the three boys nearly wet their pants from fear, and ran away as quickly as they could. Dartz was still pretty disoriented so when he saw a brunette, a blonde, and a redhead running off into the distance he could only assume who it was. "What in blazes?" said Dartz when he realized his finger was up his nose for some reason "HOW DARE THEY DO THIS TO ME?". He immediately began to think of ways to get even with them for what he believed they did. "When I get my hands on them" growled Dartz as his eye began to twitch violently "I'm going to kill-AHA!". At that moment Dartz noticed that Amelda was heading in his direction with a soda in his hand. "Amelda never likes to smile..." said Dartz as he extended his arm "But after this I'll certainly be smiling!"

"I can't believe they just had diet soda" said Amelda with a disgusted look on his face "Blech..who in their right mind drinks-".

Amelda had been so busy complaining about his soda that he failed to notice a vortex appearing over him. Before he realized it, he was sucked into it, and he didn't even to take a single sip of his soda. "There's nothing like the sweet taste of revenge" said Dartz as he walked over, picked up the soda Amelda had left behind and took a sip "Hmm diet...well I am trying to watch my figure after so many corndogs". Dartz then went over, picked up his camcorder, and took a seat at a nearby table so he could enjoy his diet soda in peace.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" screamed Amelda at the top of his lungs as he spun round and round in the washing machine-like vortex "WHY IS THIS HAPPENING AGAIN?". Amelda didn't even want to think about where he'd end up, but hopefully it would be back home and away from all the craziness. Suddenly the spinning came to abrupt stop, the vortex opened up, and Amelda was tossed out at high speed onto the ground. He groaned, opened his eyes, and realized that he had fallen into what looked like a boxing arena. Suddenly a huge spotlight came down on Amelda and he got a better view of the place. "What the Hell?" said Amelda as he looked up and realized that indeed it was an arena of some sort "Why am I here?".

"Ahh it seems we have a challenger!" suddenly said a man who was obviously a referee as he noticed Amelda standing there "Now we can begin!". A huge cheer rose up from the crowd and another man dressed in a tuxedo came over, picked up a microphone, and began to speak. "In this corner we have some girl who wants to challenge the champion" said the man as he pointed to Amelda before pointing to the other side of the arena "And in that corner we have our reigning champion, please welcome: The Slamazon!". "The Slamazon?" said Amelda as he tried to remember where he had heard that name before "I know I heard that name but where?". At that moment a purple haired woman about the same size as Raphael appeared on the opposite side of the ring. "You're going down you candyass!" shouted The Slamazon as she climbed up on the ropes "So say your prayers!" "AHHHHHHHHHH!" screamed Amelda when he finally remembered that he had seen her tons of times before since Raphael and Varon always loved to watch female wrestling "WAIT I'M NOT EVEN A WO-!". At that moment The Slamazon jumped off the ropes, landed on Amelda, and completely smothered him.

"Mmmmmmmffff!" cried Amelda as he was trapped under the massive woman with no hopes of getting out alive. "You want more?" said The Slamazon as she stood up and realized that Amelda was actually still conscious "Then I'll give you some more!". Before Amelda knew what was happening, The Slamazon grabbed him by the hair and tossed him up into the air like a rag doll. The crowd went wild and they cheered like crazy and chanted "SLAMAZON! SLAMAZON!". "Someone save me!" screamed Amelda at the top of his lungs as he sailed through the air and down towards the arena "I don't think I can take much more of-". Before he even had a chance to hit the ground, he found himself in a headlock and could only pray that she didn't snap his neck like a twig. "I'll break you in two you pretty little sissy girl!" sneered the Slamazon as she tightened her grip "Any last words?". At that point Amelda's face was turning purple and his tongue was sticking out of his mouth since he couldn't breathe anymore. "I-I-I'm a man!" suddenly shouted Amelda with the last of his strength as he prepared for the worst . The Slamazon burst into laughter and said "Yeah that's a good one! You a man? Hahahahah!". At that moment she tossed Amelda down on the ground, quickly ran over to the ropes, and prepared to slam him into the ground yet again.

"I guess wrestling isn't staged after all..." thought Amelda to himself as he coughed and struggled to recooperate from the last attack "I never thought I'd die like this...". "It's been real fun you candyass sissy girl" said The Slamazon as she stood at the top of the ropes "But now it's time for me to finish you off and keep my title". She then jumped off of the ropes and sailed high into the air preparing to pulverize Amelda as soon as she landed.

POW!

The entire arena shook as The Slamazon came down full force and crushed Amelda like a bulldozer. "1, 2,3,4,5" shouted the referee as he did the final countdown to see if Amelda would get up or if The Slamazon was the winner "6, 7,8,9,10, and the winner and still reigning champion is The Slamazon!". "Yeah!" shouted The Slamazon as she quickly got up off of Amelda and waved at her thousands of fans "I'm number one!". Amelda was still alive despite everything and he just coughed weakly and pulled himself up. "I-I-I-I think I have" stammered Amelda who was completely dazed and disoriented and bumped right into The Slamazon "Broken bones". "Broken bones?" said The Slamazon as she suddenly grabbed Amelda by the leg despite the fact that the match was over "I'll give you broken bones!". She then spun him round and round like and tossed him high into the air. Suddenly at that very moment another vortex opened up and sucked Amelda into it.

"Hey I'm going to stick his finger into his nose!" giggled the brown haired boy on the tape as Dartz replayed it "That way it'll look like he's picking his nose!"

Dartz was busy replaying all of the footage he had gotten so far and he finally got to the part with the three little boys. "So it wasn't those three idiots?" said Dartz as he took another sip of the diet soda "Oh...well I like torturing them and I think Amelda should be done right about...now!". Right on cue a vortex appeared overhead and shot Amelda out at full speed. Amelda fell to the ground with a loud thud and Dartz quickly got up and began to film him. "So Amelda you've just been beaten by The Slamazon" said Dartz with a wicked smile on his face as he zoomed in on him "What are you going to do next?". Amelda was pretty badly bruised and beaten, but Dartz was honestly surprised that he had actually survived the whole ordeal.

"I-I-I-I..." groaned Amelda as he struggled to talk since Dartz had the camera about two inches away from his face "I-I'm going to the emergency room".

Amelda then passed out and Dartz quickly stood up and decided to go look for Raphael and Varon even though he knew they were innocent. "The plan for revenge I thought of is too good to just discard" thought Dartz as he headed towards the escalator "Besides I'm sure those idiots have done things that I'm not even aware of".

"Hey look!" said the little brown haired boy as he noticed Amelda laying on the ground "We can poke her!". The three little boys were still hanging around in the foodcourt since they had nothing better to do. "That's not a girl!" said the little red headed boy "I think that's a guy!". "How can that be a guy?" said the blonde haired boy with a confused look on his face "He's pretty". "Well it is a guy" said the red headed boy as he poked Amelda with a corndog stick "Even if he's showing his bellybutton".

"Who cares what it is?" said the brown haired boy as he poked Amelda in the leg "I just want to poke someone!".


	13. Gimme A Flap Dance Baby!

Author's Note: Hehhe once again thanks for all the reviews! Yeah I already had the last chapter written which is why it went up so quickly(sneaky me). Anyways thanks once again!

Disclaimer: I do not own Yugioh, the characters, Neopets or any of the stores/restaurants mentioned so don't sue me:)

**Gimme A Flap Dance Baby!**

"Eww this is a guy!" said the little brown haired boy as he poked Amelda in the chest "Yuck he's wearing a shirt made for a lady though! Why?".

"He looks like he's got boobies" said the blonde haired boy as he poked Amelda in the stomach "Maybe that's why he wears a ladies shirt". "Why would anyone want to look like him?" asked the redheaded boy as he poked Amelda in the stomach as well "He's creepy". At that moment the other two boys looked at Amelda and then at their friend before bursting into giggles. "What's so funny?" asked the redheaded boy as he looked straight at them "Why are you laughing?". "Cause" snickered the brown haired boy as he pointed to Amelda "You're gonna look just like him when you grow up!". "No I'm not!" shouted the redheaded boy "I'm not gonna look like him!". "Yes you are" said the blonde haired boy "You already kinda look like him". What the boys never suspected was that Amelda was awake at that point but he was in too much pain to even open his eyes. They failed to notice when he opened his eyes since they were too busy teasing their friend.

"What happened?" thought Amelda as he slowly sat up "I feel like I got hit by a truck...". He then noticed the two boys teasing the poor redheaded boy who was about to burst into tears. "I do not look like him!" cried the redheaded boy at the top of his lungs "I'm not that girly looking!". "Yes you do!" said the blonde haired boy as he looked at him "You're probably gonna dress like him!". "Yeah and you're gonna carry a purse too!" said the brown haired boy "And you're gonna put makeup on!". At that moment the two boys felt someone tap them on the back and they turned around to find themselves face to face with Amelda(who still couldn't stand up).

"Where the Hell are they?" growled a very frustrated Dartz as he stopped to look at a map of the mall "Why does this blasted mall have so many floors?".

Dartz hadn't really looked around the mall since he was just too damn lazy at that point, so he decided to do the next best thing. "Excuse me" said Dartz as he stopped a random person walking by and showed them a picture of Raphael "Have you seen this person?". "Oh I just saw him awhile ago" said Serenity as she looked at the picture "He was with this brown haired girl over at the Cinnabon stand!". Serenity was a cute and sickenly sweet girl looking girl but when Dartz looked at her hands he was shocked. "What on Earth is a that?" said Dartz when he noticed Serenity was holding a gigantic cinnamon roll in her hands "Some sort of Neopet?". "Yeah..." said Serenity in a sarcastic tone of voice as she looked at Dartz "It's a Bunbun". "Hmm never heard of that one" said Dartz as he began to walk towards the Cinnabon stand.

A few minutes later though Dartz realized that a Cinnabon was in reality nothing more than a gigantic cinnamon roll(and not a Neopet). "That blasted girl tricked me!" muttered Dartz as he looked around "Ah...but it seems I found what I was looking for". "Mmm I love these things" said Varon as he licked the icing off of his Cinnabon before taking a huge bite out of it "I think I'll get another one after this". Raphael and Varon had decided to take a snack break so they bought some Cinnabons and sat down on a nearby bench to eat them. "You've already had six of them" said Raphael who was still struggling to eat one "How can you eat so many?". "I'm just hungry" said Varon who had somehow managed to swallow the thing whole "Besides I'm still growing and I need lots of food".

"Disgusting glutton" said Dartz as he pulled out his camcorder and began to film the two of them "Hmm...I think the time has arrived for the ultimate punishment".

So as Varon stood up to go buy yet another sugary sweet Cinnabon, Dartz quickly snapped his fingers and right on cue another vortex appeared. "Should I get a regular Cinnabon?" thought Varon "Or should I get one with peac-". Before Varon knew what was happening he was spinning around and round in the vortex and screaming for help. "AHHHHHHHHHHH!" screamed Varon as he was spun round and round "I'M GONNA HURL!". "Varon?" said Raphael as he suddenly looked around and realized that Varon wasn't on the bench and he wasn't at the Cinnabon stand "Where did he go?". "And Raphael just noticed that Varon is gone" said Dartz with his camcorder in one hand and a Cinnabon in the other "But Varon is in a better place now...a much better place". He then gave an evil laugh and took a huge bite of his treat.

"Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday to you!" sang all of the people in the restaurant at the top of their lungs "Happy birthday Bandit Keith! Happy birthday to you!".

At that moment everyone cheered and Bandit Keith blew out the candles on his cake. "So what'd wish for boss?" said Bonez as he looked over at Bandit Keith "Some new duel monsters cards?". It was Bandit Keith's birthday and since he didn't really have any friends he had no choice but to pay Bonez, Sid, and Zygor to hang out with him for the day. "What do you think I am? Ten?" spat out Bandit Keith as he looked down at Bonez "I didn't wish for Duel Monsters cards! I wish for-"

SPLAT!

At that moment Bandit Keith and everyone in the surrounding area were sprayed with cake and frosting. "Where am I?" said Varon as he quickly sat up but when he looked down he just screamed "WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?". Varon had not only landed on a cake, but he was now wearing super tight(and super short) orange shorts and a tanktop that read "Hooters" on it. "I never wanted to get into a Hooter girl's pants this way!" shouted Varon as he jumped off the table "That sick old bastard Dartz is behind this! I know it!". "YOU CRUSHED MY BIRTHDAY CAKE!" shouted Bandit Keith as he wiped the cake and frosting off his face "YOU'RE GONNA PAY FOR THAT!". "Hey it was an accident!" said Varon as he wiped some of the frosting off of his shorts "Besides this cake tastes so bad that I did you a favor!". Bandit Keith looked really pissed off since someone had ruined his birthday, but the moment he actually got a good look at Varon then it all changed.

"I know just how you can repay me baby" said Bandit Keith as he began to wipe the frosting off of his sunglasses "You can gimme a flap dance!"

"A WHAT?" screamed Varon at the top of his lungs "Wait...what's a flap dance?". Varon had been to Hooters lots of times before, but even then he had never heard of a "flap dance". "Outta my way newbie!" said a waitress as she walked over and pushed Varon out of the way "I'll show you how it's done!". She then blew a whistle really loud and at that moment some bad dance music started blasting really loud on the overhead speakers and the lights dimmed. "What the Hell is going on?" said Varon as he looked around in total confusion "I don't like the looks of this!". "Hoot hoot!" suddenly yelled someone off in the corner of the restaurant and a spotlight shone down on them. Varon's jaw just dropped from shock when he saw someone dressed from head to toe in a big tacky owl costume. Suddenly the giant owl ran over to Bandit Keith and began to dance like crazy while flapping his/her/its arms.

"Hoot! Hoot!" cooed the giant owl in a seductive voice "Hoot! Hoot! Hoot!"

"Wait!" shouted Bandit Keith as the giant owl danced around him flapping its wings and shaking it's tail feathers "What the Hell is this? I don't want this!". "I dunno..." said Bonez "But I kinda think it's sexy". Less then a second later he was on ground after Bandit Keith pounded his fist onto his head. "Well you said you wanted a flap dance for your birthday right?" said the waitress who had blown the whistle "And that's exactly what we're giving you". "Not from this thing!" screamed Bandit Keith as he jumped out of his chair and pointed to Varon "I want her to give me a flap dance!". "Sorry but waitresses don't give flap dances" scoffed the waitress as she looked over at Varon "Especially not lowly newbie waitresses like her". "Phew!" thought Varon to himself as he grinned while the giant owl continue dancing around Bandit Keith "That was close". "But since she did ruin your birthday cake then I guess it's only fair" said the waitress as she grabbed Varon by the arm "Now get over there and start dancing".

"So boss how are you enjoying your flap dance?" asked Zygor while Varon performed a flap dance for Bandit Keith "Is it everything you were hoping for?"

"WILL YOU STOP ASKING ME THAT?" shouted Bandit Keith as he slammed his fist into the table "This sucks and even morons like you should know that!". Varon was indeed performing a flap dance, but not in a way that Bandit Keith had been hoping for. "Phew it's so hot in this stupid owl costume" muttered Varon as he skipped around Bandit Keith while flapping his arms like crazy "I could bake Cinnabons in here if I wanted!".

Varon was completely unaware that at a lone table not too far from where he was sat a person...a person with a camcorder. "Yes and here we have Varon dressed up as a giant owl" said Dartz who had transported himself to Hooters after finishing his Cinnabon "Well I guess you could say he's one 'sexy bird'". After a few more minutes of dancing like crazy, Varon finally stopped and everyone clapped. Suddenly at that moment the vortex reappeared and sucked Varon in(owl costume and all). "Yeah!" cheered Sid really loud "Now that was one sexy bird!". A few seconds later he was also on the ground, but this time it was thanks to Dartz. "I thought of that first!" said Dartz as he unclenched his fist "No one has the right to use the term 'sexy bird' but me!".

"So I can trade this in for Cinnabons instead?" said Raphael who had found out just how addictive Cinnabons actually were "But why?".

"Have you seen the girls at the corndog stand?" said the teenage boy working the register at the Cinnabon stand "They're hot! I buy those crappy corndogs just to see them!". "So they're that hot?" said Raphael who was about to hand over the gift certificate to the perverted teenager with a pimply face "Then again maybe I'll hang on to this after all". "What?" said the teenager with a look of anguish on his face "B-But you can have Cinnabons instead! They taste way better than those stale corndogs!". At that moment the vortex opened up behind Raphael and Varon fell out of it. He landed face first but luckily he was wearing his old clothes and not the owl costume. "Whoa...who's that?" said the pimply faced teen as he glanced over and noticed Varon "What a hottie!". Raphael looked back and realized that the boy was referring to Varon who had decided to come back. "She's so sexy" said the teenager with a dreamy look on his face "She's way hotter than those corndog girls!". "She is?" said Raphael with a look of shock on his face "On second thought I'll take the Cinnabons instead".

"Hoot..hoot.." said Varon weakly as he tried to pull himself up but it was no use since he was completely dizzy from the fall "Hoot hoo...". Varon tried to sit up but as soon as he did, he just fell over again and hit face on the ground. "I'll get you for this Dartz" groaned Varon as he just rolled onto his side "I'll get you...you perverted old freak..."

"So you think your friend looks like me?" said Amelda very calmly as he suddenly reached into his pocket and pulled out two pictures "Well take a look at your futures"

The two boys just gasped in horror when they saw the pictures since it was worse than they expected. The first picture had Varon lying on the couch in his pajamas looking as if though he hadn't showered in weeks while eating two burritos at the same time. "Hey he looks like you!" laughed the blonde haired boy as he poked the brown haired boy "You've even got the same hairstyle!". "He does not!" cried the brown haired boy "But that guy in that other picture looks like you!". The second picture was a picture of Raphael running around the breakfast table with the back of his pants on fire and Dartz under the table laughing at him. "And you know what the best part is?" said Amelda with a twisted smile as he pointed to Dartz in the picture "You're probably gonna end up working for this guy too!"

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" screamed both boys as they just turned around and ran as fast as they could. The redheaded boy just blinked in complete disbelief as he watched his friends run off into the distance. "I don't think I look like you" said the little boy as he looked up at Amelda with big innocent eyes and a bit of sadness "Do you think I'll grow up to look like you?". The kid looked exactly like Amelda when he had been younger, so he was definitely going to look exactly like Amelda in the future. "Hmm if I tell him the truth he'll probably be traumatized" thought Amelda to himself as he felt a bit of pain in the spots where the kids had poked him "But if I lie then he'll have a happy childhood". Amelda was about to speak when he noticed something in the boy's front pocket: a corndog stick.

"You know what?" said Amelda as he looked down at the little boy "You look exactly like me when I was a kid which means you're gonna look just like me when you grow up!'.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" screamed the redheaded boy as he suddenly ran off in the same direction as he friends "Wait for me guys!". A satisfied smile appeared on Amelda's face and he said "I was going to lie but little punks who poke people with corndog sticks deserve to hear the truth". So after traumatizing the three boys, Amelda decided to go off and hit the stores yet again.


	14. Dance With Me

Author's Notes: Thanks alot for the reviews guys! I'm glad you guys thought the little boys were funny. Anyways this chapter is about yet another one of Dartz's (individual) punishments so enjoy! Oh and I'm using the dub name for one of Raphael's Guardian cards since I'm not really sure what the actual name is.

Disclaimer: I do now own Yugioh, any of the characters, or any of the stores/restaurants/songs mentioned, so don't sue me:D

**Dance With Me**

"Seto I'm hungry!" cried Mokuba as he tugged at his older brother's trenchcoat and looked up at him with puppy dog eyes "Can I have some money for a corndog? Pretty please?".

Seto was looking pissed off as usual and especially now that Mokuba dragged him down to the mall. "Why do you have to ask me for money?" said Seto as he glanced down at his little brother "I just gave you your allowance this week!". "Pffft! You only gave me $5!" said Mokuba as he continued clinging to Seto's gravity defying white trenchcoat "What the Hell am I supposed to do with $5? Stuff costs alot more now than when you were a kid!". "Are you calling me old?" said Seto as he raised an eyebrow and glanced down at Mokuba "I was going to give you money..but you know what? Now I'll have to think about it". Seto then turned around and began to walk off in the direction of his favorite store called 'Trenchcoat Inferno'.

"B-B-But...you're my big brother!" cried Mokuba as he ran after Seto "If you don't give me any money then how am I supposed to get any?". Seto kept walking and pretended not to hear what Mokuba was saying. "Now how am I suppoed to get a corndog?" whined Mokuba as he reached into his pockets and found nothing more than a dollar "I need a miracle!". Suddenly someone tapped Mokuba on the shoulder and when he turned around he found himself staring at a hideous red velvet suit. "Aww so Kaiba boy won't buy you any corndogs will he?" chuckled Pegasus as he looked down at Mokuba "Ooh well I can buy you all the corndogs you want..but you have to do me a favor".

"SETO!" screamed Mokuba at the top of his lungs as he ran as quickly as he could after his brother "DON'T LEAVE ME HERE BY MYSELF!". "Oh pooh!" said Pegasus as he pouted and pulled his new cd out of a plastic bag he was carrying "I was hoping he could help me get the plastic wrap off of it". He then just shrugged his shoulders and walked off in hopes of finding someone who could help him open his cd.

"Now what floor was "Aahs" located on?" thought Raphael as he wandered in some random direction with all of his shopping bags hanging off of his arms "I know it was on an upper level, but which one?"

After getting tired of hearing Varon make strange hooting sounds and muttering some nonsense about a 'flap dance', Raphael decided to just ditch him altogether. Raphael went up and down countless escalators in hopes of finding the store. He wandered around for what felt like hours, but still no sign of "Aahs" It never once occured to him to just stop and look at one of the maps of the mall, but that wasn't his style. "It has to be somewhere around here" said Raphael as he frowned "All I remember is that I saw it right when I got off of an escalator"

Raphael continued walking and he was completely unaware that someone had seen him and was now following him. "And I thought women were the only ones with shopping addictions" said Dartz as he walked behind Raphael and filmed him "Maybe I should send him to 'Shopper's Anonymous'". Raphael suddenly came to an abrupt stop when he noticed something in the window of a store called "Mary Jane's". The object in question was a Guardian Eatos figurine that just seemed to scream "Buy me!"."I have to have it!." said Raphael as he pressed his face against the store window "I've never seen anything like it!". Raphael quickly ran into the store as quickly as he could, but was he in was in for quite a surprise.

The entire store was filled with lava lamps, black lights, disco balls, beaded curtains, incense, and the song "Lucy In The Sky With Diamonds" was playing. There was also a noticeably strange aroma and a bit of smoke in the air, but Raphael just assumed it was the incense and nothing else. "Dude...you're tall" suddenly slurred a really weird guy who looked like Varon...if Varon didn't shower, shave, or brush his hair for a month. Raphael noticed that the smell got even stronger as he approached the guy...almost as if it was coming from him. "So what can I get you?" slurred the guy with a dopey grin on his face "A lava lamp? Some love beads? A sandwich?". "I want that Guardian Eatos figurine in the window" said Raphael as he tried his best to ignore the smell "So how much is it?

"Dude...I can't sell you that...it's bad karma man..." slurred the guy as he slumped over onto the register "But I'll let you have it if you give me those...". He pointed to the box of Cinnabons peeking out of one of the many bags Raphael was carrying. "You want these in exchange for that?" said Raphael with a puzzled look on his face "Why?". "Cause I got the munchies man..."slurred the guy as ran a hand through his dirty looking hair "So...do we have a deal?"

"Hmm I was almost certain Raphael would be in here" said Dartz with a disgusted look on his face as he exited "Aahs" "I've never seen so much worthless garbage in one place!"

After getting back from Hooters, Dartz was pretty bored and decided to look for Raphael. So far Dartz had plenty of humiliating footage of Varon and Amelda, but not much footage of Raphael. Raphael was always a very serious person who didn't really do or say much. His only interests seemed to be watching the home shopping network, buying stuff off the home shopping network, riding his motorcycle, and looking after his guardian cards. The only time he did anything remotely interesting was when Dartz decided to set fire to him during breakfast.

"If he were any more dull then he'd be dead" said Dartz as he headed down an escalator "I don't think he even knows the meaning of the word 'fun'". When Dartz got to the bottom of the escalator he quickly realized that perhaps he had to rethink what he thought he knew about Raphael. Raphael stumbled out of "Mary Jane's" with the Guardian Eatos figurine in hand, but he was so out of it that he could hardly walk.

"Who's that pretty girl?."slurred Raphael as he suddenly planted a kiss on the Guardian Eatos figurine"Oooh you're that pretty girl...aren't you?". Raphael had never realized what the "incense"actually was, and now he was high as a kite thank to inhaling the smoke. Dartz didn't even know what to do say, but once he got a whiff of him it became all too clear. "Ahh that smell takes me back to the 1960s" said Dartz with a hint of nostalgia in his voice and a gleam in his eye "Then again that whole decade was one big blur...". Dartz then quickly snapped out it, pulled out his camcorder, and began to follow Raphael since he knew it would be a very "cosmic" experience.

"Where am I?" thought Raphael as he looked all around and realized he was in some sort of tunnel filled with all sorts of swirly colors "Am I dreaming?"

"Raphael! Oh Raphael!" suddenly called out a woman's voice from out of nowhere "Raphael! Look over here!". Raphael quickly spun around and as soon as he realized that there was a light at the end of the tunnel so he quickly headed towards it. When he exited the tunnel he realized he was in some sort of strange far off land with lots of swirly rainbow colored clouds, purple grass, an orange sky, and a huge meadow filled with flowers: flowers with little happy faces. "Hi there!" chirped a little flower with Tea's face as it looked up at Raphael "You're new here aren't you?". "Of course he is" said another flower with Yugi's face "Aren't you?".

"Ookay..." thought Raphael as he rubbed his eyes and was almost certain that he was losing his mind "What's going on?". The little Tea flower continued chirping and chatting excitedly, which was EXTREMELY annoying. "Hey what have I told you before you stupid flowers?" suddenly shouted a cranky and all too familiar voice from above "Don't talk to strangers! Do I have to come down there and shut you up myself?". At that moment Raphael quickly looked up and realized that both the sun and moon were out, but they were disturbingly familiar. The sun had Varon's face and it was happy looking and grinning like a complete idiot. The moon had Amelda's face and it was cranky and scowling at the the flowers. "Ah put a sock in it!" suddenly said the sun "No one cares about what you have to say!". The moon just growled and quickly turned it's face away. "WHAT THE HELL IS THIS PLACE?" suddenly shouted Raphael who was now seriously freaked out by the talking flowers/sun/moon "SOMEONE GET ME OUT OF HERE!".

"Raphael! Oh Raphael!" suddenly called out the same female voice he had heard before "Raphael I can help you!". Raphael quickly began to look around to see if he could figure out where the voice was coming from, but then he saw it. At that moment a yellow submarine emerged from the swirly clouds and landed gently on the grass in front of Raphael. "Raphael I'm so happy to see you!" said the woman as she opened up the door on the yellow submarine and got out "Are you happy to see me too?". The woman was a blonde with a strange looking headdress that almost resembled a giant white eagle's head and she had a brown dress with some fringes on it. "Guardian Eatos?" said Raphael as his eyes opened wide in shock and disbelief "Is that you?". She gave a quick nod and said "Yeah that's me and I've been waiting for you so you can dance with me!". "What?" exclaimed Raphael who just couldn't comprehend the entire situation "Dance with you?"

"Come on dance with me!" said Guardian Eatos as she suddenly ran up to him and grabbed his arm "I hope you like the song!". She then snapped her fingers and the grouchy moon was suddenly transformed into a huge disco ball. "Yay!" cried out the little Tea flower as if flapped it leaves excitedly"That big nasty grouch is gone!" "About time someone did that" mused the sun as he looked over at the disco ball "Now lets get this party started!". At that moment the song "What You Waitin For?" began to play and Guardian Eatos wrapped Raphael's arms around herself and they began to dance. Guardian Eatos smiled at Raphael and they began to spin round and round like crazy all over the purple grass.

"This footage is getting better and better" said Dartz as he continued filming Raphael "Raphael is making a complete fool of himself and I didn't even have to lift a finger!"

Raphael had stumbled half way across the mall and right into the music store. He stumbled around for a bit inside of the music store and knocked over a few racks of cds, but when he got to the listening stations it all changed. All of the listening stations were currently empty, but the music blaring from the headphones was extremely loud. When Raphael heard the music for some reason he began to spin round and round with his Guardian Eatos figurine...almost as if though he were dancing with it. Dartz just continued filming since he didn't want to miss a second of what else Raphael might do while stoned.

"Isn't this fun?" said Guardian Eatos as she and Raphael continued spinning/dancing together "I knew you'd dance with me!".

At that moment the sun and the flowers were swaying from side to side and the song seemed to be coming to an end, which was a good thing since Raphael didn't really like it. "I have to figure out what's going on" thought Raphael to himself "I mean why am I even here?". Suddenly the song came to an abrupt stop and the giant disco ball transformed back into the grouchy moon. "It feels like I'm spinning round and round still!" complained the giant moon "Why did you do that to me?". Nobody really cared what it had to say, so they completely ignored it.

"I can't believe Raph just ditched me!" said Varon as he rubbed his arm and walked around "This day is the worst day of my whole life!"

"Excuuuuuse me!" suddenly cried out someone in a sing-song voice as they ran up behind Varon "But I was wondering if you could help me with something?". The person was none other that Pegasus who still hadn't been able to get the plastic wrap off of his cd. "Eww Pegasus!" thought Varon as he grimaced at the mere sight of the"eccentric" white haired millionaire "What the heck does he want?". "Could you please help me get the plastic wrap off of this?" said Pegasus as he held out the cd "I can't do it myself and I'm going to ruin my manicure!". "Is that it? I could do that in my sleep!" said Varon as he quickly tore the plastic wrap off of the cd and tossed it back to Pegasus "See? Piece of cake!". "Oooh at last!" cried Pegasus as tears of joy began to stream down his cheeks "Now my life is complete...oh you have no idea how happy you made me!".

"Yeah yeah..." said Varon who was still pretty annoyed that he had been ditched yet again "Go tell it to someone who cares". "Ooh you seemupset for some reason" said Pegasus when he saw Varon's sour expression"But not to worry! Uncle Max will reward your kindness!". At that moment Pegasus reached into his pocket, pulled out a huge wad of cash, and gave it to Varon. "HOLY CRAP!" shouted Varon when he saw the huge wad of cash "YOU'RE KIDDING ME RIGHT?". "Oooh you're right" said Pegasus as he reached into his other pocket and suddenly pulled out another wad of cash and handed it to Varon "This should be enough". He then happily skipped off and left Varon standing there with his mouth wide open and with a wad of money in each hand. "I-I-I..." stammered Varon for a few moments while it all sunk in "THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE!"

"You know what I want right now?" said Guardian Eatos as she looked up at Raphael who looked even more confused than ever "I want you to kiss me you big sexy hunk!"

"About time he stopped spinning like an idiot! He's been doing that for the past half hour!" said Dartz in a very annoyed tone of voice as he continued watching Raphael "I just hope he does something interesting now". Suddenly Raphael lifted the Guardian Eatos figurine and began to kiss it as passionately as he could. "And now this is the icing on the cake" said Dartz as he blinked in disbelief as he observed Raphael passionately kissing the figurine "Or the olive in the martini? Hmm I could actually use one right about now".

"Why do all the weirdos hang out near the listening station?" screamed the pink haired girl who worked there "I just managed to get rid of those other weirdos and now this!". The pink haired girl was absolutely disgusted by what she was seeing, but Raphael was much too big for her to throw out by herself. "It's a mystery of life isn't it?" said Dartz as he stopped filming Raphael "Well I'm going to go get a martini...wanna come along?". "Huh?" said the pink haired girl when she realized that some blue haired weirdo was talking to her "Why are you asking me?". "You look like you could use a drink" said Dartz with a sly look on his face as he put away his camcorder "And it's happy hour at my favorite bar, so you coming?". "NO! There's no way in Hell I'm going anywhere with you!" said the girl as she looked at him as if though he were crazy "Besides I'm working right now!". "My treat" said Dartz who just wouldn't take "no" for an answer "So what do you say?". Suddenly the pink haired girl ran to grab her purse, grabbed onto Dartz's arm and said "Lets blow this dump!". They both quickly walked out of the store leaving Raphael and his figurine all alone.

"Mmmm Guardian Eatos..." slurred Raphael as he continued kissing the Guardian Eatos figurine as passionately as he could "I love you too..."


	15. Lucky 13

Author's Notes: Thanks alot for all the reviews guys! I honestly never thought this story would get to it's 100th review(no joke). Anyways thanks once again! Also this chapter is yet another one split in two, so keep an eye out for for the nextpart :)

Disclaimer: I do not own Yugioh, any of the characters, Sesame Street, Spongebob Squarepants, Hello Kitty or any of the stores mentioned(except the ones I made up) so don't sue me:)

**Lucky 13**

"Does this trenchcoat look like something I could wear while taking down my enemies?" said Seto as he looked at himself in the mirror while donning a stupid looking purple trenchcoat "Or does it look more like something I'd wear while relaxing at home plotting revenge against them?"

There was no place that Seto liked more then "Trenchcoat Inferno" since they sold nothing BUT trenchcoats. There were trenchcoats of every size, shape, color, and possible style. There was also no person that the salespeople at Trenchcoat Inferno liked more than Seto since he always bought dozens of trenchcoats at a time. Whenever he came in, they would completely ignore all the other customers and do whatever they could to please him...even if this actually ended up angering him.

"Oh you look strapping in that trenchcoat Mr. Kaiba!" said one of the salesmen in an obvious attempt to kiss up to him "See how it brings out your eyes?". Several of the other salesmen agreed as well in yet another lame attempt to kiss up. _"Do those idiots realize that this is actually a ladies trenchcoat?" _thought Seto to himself as he looked at the absurd purple coat _"Or are they too scared or too busy kissing up to me to say anything?"._ Indeed they were so busy thinking about all the money he would leave behind, that nobody noticed that Seto was actually wearing a ladies trenchcoat. "So will you be taking this trenchcoat Mr. Kaiba?" said a salesman wearing a hideous lime green suit as he jumped forward "I would certainly buy it since it fits you very well!". "So you think this ladies coat looks good on me? Liars!" snapped Seto as he narrowed his eyes and pulled off the trenchcoat as quickly as he could and threw it on the ground "If I wanted to have my butt kissed then I'd get Roland to do it!".

"That's what he pays me for!" said Roland as he suddenly popped out from a behind a rack filled with trenchcoats "Now get lost and don't bother Mr. Kaiba until he's done trying on trenchcoats!". Roland then chased off the salesmen as quickly as he could in order to let his boss shop in peace. "I don't know what I'd do without him" said Seto with a pleased smirk on his face "Now where was I?". He then promptly turned around and began to walk down the many aisles in his unending search for the perfect trenchcoat.

"Boots! So many boots!" shouted Mai excitedly as she and Yami walked around inside of "Pirate's Boot-E" "I never knew such a wonderful place could exist!"

After dancing from joy for several hours, Mai and Yami finally got all the excess energy out and finally decided to go into the store. The store was huge and it had absolutely every kind of boot imagineable, but Yami still wasn't convinced. "Yes there certainly are many boots" said Yami as he looked at the platform boots "But there's one thing I need to be certain of first". "Arr mateys! Welcome to Pirate's Boot-E" said a salesman with a black beard wearing a pirate hat, an eyepatch, and a striped shirt as he walked up to them "How can I help ye today?".

"I'd like some black leather stilleto boots in size 8 please" said Mai who knew exactly what she was looking for "Oh and make sure that they're not patent leather! Patent leather is so last season!". "Aye aye miss! And for ye matey?" said the salesman as he turned his attention to Yami "Will ye be needing any boots today?". "First of all how tall are your tallest platform boots?" said Yami as he suddenly jumped up and grabbed the man by the shirt "TELL ME NOW!". "Let me go matey!" said the salesman as he struggled to pull the crazed(yet short) Pharoah off of his shirt "I could send ye to Davey Jones locker for this!". "NOT UNTIL YOU ANSWER ME!" shouted Yami as he clung to the man's shirt "Now how tall are they?".

Yami was determined to get a pair of the boots he wanted, but he wasn't about to be tricked again. "They be twelve inches tall matey!" said the salesman as he still struggled to pull Yami off "So will ye be needing a pair?". "Did you say twelve inches? Ra does love me!" said Yami as his eyes practically filled with tears from the joy and he finally let go of the man's shirt "Bring me a pair and make sure they're black leather, size 8, and Ra help you if they're women's boots!". "Now get moving!" shouted Mai as she gave the salesman a swift kick in the butt "Those boots aren't going to get out here by themselves!". The salesman quickly scrambled off now that he realized the kind of boot obsessed psychos he was dealing with.

"Does this trenchcoat look like something I'd wear while taking down Kaiba?" thought Amelda as he tried on a dark blue trenchcoat and looked at the mirror "Or does it look like something I'd wear while plotting revenge against him?"

After being beaten up by a female wrestler, getting poked by some kids, and then scarring them for life, Amelda decided to forget his troubles by heading over to Trenchcoat Inferno. It was one of Amelda's favorite stores...well except for one thing. "Uh miss...that's a men's trenchcoat you're trying on" said the salesman in the lime green suit as he walked up to Amelda "Would you like me to show you where the ladies trenchcoats are?". Every single time Amelda walked into the store he would always be directed towards the ladies trenchcoats. _"Why the Hell do these idiots always think that I'm a woman?"_ thought Amelda to himself as he resisted the urge to turn around and kick the salesman into the next state _"I've shopped here more than enough times for them to remember that I'm not a woman!". _

"You might also be interested to know that we just got in a shipment of lovely pastel trenchcoats this week" said the salesman as he looked at Amelda's midriff bearing tanktop "Even a lovely lavender one that would match your shirt perfectly!". "WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?" screamed Amelda at the top of his lungs as he pulled off the trenchcoat he had been trying on "ARE YOU BLIND OR SOMETHING?". Taking the trenchcoat was not much help since it only helped to convince the salesman that Amelda truly was a woman. Unfortunately there was also another unwanted side effect. The next thing Amelda heard was dozens of rapid footsteps and when he turned around, he found himself face to face with every single salesman in the store. "Can I help you miss?" blurted all the the salesmen in unison as they practically drooled at the sight of Amelda's hot body. They couldn't believe that such a gorgeous girl was at their store and they were all more than eager to help her.

"What the Hell? Has the whole world gone blind?" shouted Amelda as one of his eyes began to twitch violently "I AM NOT A WOMAN!". The salesmen all just chuckled since how was it possible for such a beauty not to be female? "That's a good one cutie!" said one of the other salesman as he hungrily eyed Amelda "I like a girl with a sense of humor!". "I'm not a woman and I'll prove it!" shouted Amelda as he suddenly pulled up his tanktop "See? I don't have any breasts!". One of the salesmen fainted, others just gasped in shock, while one of them snapped a picture with his camera phone. "Aww that's nothing to be ashamed of" said the salesman in the lime green suit in reassuring tone of voice"I'm sure a good plastic surgeon could turn those mosquito bites into melons". A few others chuckled and nodded their heads in agreement while a few others stood there with perverted grins on their faces while staring at his bare chest. THAT WAS IT! Now they had gone too far and Amelda had absolutely nothing to lose."Alright I didn't think I'd have to do this but you leave me no choice!" shouted Amelda as he suddenly reached down, unfastened his belts, and yanked down his pants "So do you still think I'm a woman?"

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

After screaming like little sissy girls, all of the salesmen ran away as quickly as they could. They were all beyond traumatized when they realized that the beautiful redhead "girl" was actually a beautiful redhead guy. "MY EYES! MY BEAUTIFUL EYES!" screamed the salesman in the lime green suit "I THINK I'VE GONE BLIND!". "Idiots" muttered Amelda as he quickly pulled his pants back up as he watched the salesmen run off "I don't think they'll ever mistake me for a woman again". So after traumatizing even more people, Amelda continued his search for the perfect trenchcoat.

"Come back soon miss!" shouted the salespeople at "Aahs" as Varon staggered out of the store carrying almost as many bags as Raphael "Oh and we'll call you when the next shipment of Cookie Monster merchandise comes in!"

Right after Varon was rewarded so generously by Pegasus, he happened to walk right into the most wonderful store. Varon usually wasn't the type of person to buy pointless junk(like Raphael) but that was usually since he had little to no money. Now there was nothing holding him back and he could buy everything his heart desired. He bought tons of Spongebob Squarepants merchandise, some Cookie Monster merchandise, some exploding whoopee cushions(for Dartz...'s behind), some rollerblades, some x-ray goggles(for looking at Mai...'s behind) and finally an inflatable chair. And even though Raphael and Amelda had been evil enough to ditch him, Varon was still generous enough to get them each something.

Varon knew just how much Raphael disliked Kuribohs(or Multicolored Pom Pom Sisters as he called them) so he decided to get him the best gift possible: an entire set of Kuriboh plushies. They were cute, snuggly, came in cute colors, and they even squeaked when hugged. Shopping for Amelda was alot tougher though since he seemed to hate just about everything, but there was one thing that he hated more than anything. If Amelda had an archenemy(besides Kaiba) then it would have to be Hello Kitty. Just looking at the big headed, mouthless, yellow nosed, bow wearing cat, would cause Amelda to fall over, have convulsions and/or go temporarily insane. So what better thing to get him than the cutest(and strawberry scented) Hello Kitty plushie at "Aahs"?

"I can't wait to see the look on their faces when I give them this" snickered Varon as he sat down on a nearby bench and peered into the bags "They'll think twice before ditching me at a time like this!". Varon then checked in his pockets and realized that even after his little shopping spree, he still more than enough money left. "This would be so much better if I wasn't stuck in a girl's body" whined Varon as he looked down at himself "There's so many things I want to see and do right now!".

"Dere ya are cutie!" said an all too familiar and all too annoying voice belonging to someone who had walked up directly behind Varon "I love a girl dat plays hard to get!". Varon slowly turned around and surely enough there stood Joey with a smug grin on his face and a half eaten corndog in his hand. " WHY IS HE BACK?" thought Varon as he jumped up and felt a wave of nausea hit him yet again "IS IT PUNISHMENT FOR TAKING MONEY FROM A STRANGER?"

Just when Varon thought things couldn't get any worse, another person walked up behind him. "Hey cutie you must be a parking ticket" said Tristan as he tried out one of the many lines he'd overheard Duke Devlin use "Cause you've got "fine" written all over you". "Hey I was here first!" shouted Joey as he roughly shoved Tristan aside "NOW BEAT IT!". "You beat it!" shouted Tristan as he roughly pushed Joey backwards and nearly knocked him over "I'm sure she'd rather go out with me than a greedy pig like you!". "DAT'S IT!" shouted Joey as he jumped forward and trapped Tristan in a headlock "DIS MEANS WAR!".

Joey and Tristan began to roll all over the ground fighting like a pair of little kids on the schoolyard and all because of a girl. Unfortunately neither one realized that this "girl" was actually a poor guy who had been the victim of a perverted old Atlantean's sick sense of humor. "WILL YOU TWO STOP FIGHTING?" screamed Varon at the top of his lungs as he ran over and kicked them both "I WOULD NEVER GO OUT WITH EITHER OF YOU!". Unfortunately they didn't seem to be paying attention since they just kept on fighting.

After kicking them a few times, screaming, and spraying them with his new Spongebob Squarepants Fire Extinguisher, Varon decided it was better to just get on the nearest escalator. It disgusted him how obsessive and insane some guys seemed to get when they encountered a girl. He couldn't imagine what could make someone act in such a repulsive way. "Those two need some professional help and soon!" muttered Varon under his breath as he approached the top of the escaltor "I'm glad I'm not that obsessed with any girl". When Varon reached the top of the escalator he found himself directly in front of Pirate's Boot-E, and that's when he noticed Mai was inside.

"So how do those boots fit ye both?" said the salesman/pirate as both Mai and Yami pranced around in front of a mirror "Do they fit ye well?"

So far Mai and Yami had been prancing around the store in circles since they wanted to make sure that the boots were really what they wanted. "Hmm I don't know..." said Mai as she looked down at the black stilleto boots "I know I said I wanted black leather stilleto boots, but now I'm thinking about suede boots". "These boots are everything I've ever wanted" said Yami as he looked down at the gigantic platform boots "But now I'm wondering whether Yugi can wear these without tripping and breaking his neck?". "But they be good boots!" said the salesman whose butt was still sore from getting kicked earlier "And all black boots be half price for today in celebration of Captain Blackboot's birthday!".

"DID YOU SAY HALF PRICE?" screamed Mai and Yami as they jumped up and their eyes glistened with greed "HALF PRICE ON ALL BLACK BOOTS?". "Aye" said the salesman nervously as the two boot obsessed maniacs began to approach them "So will be be taking t-". The salesman didn't get to complete his sentence since at that moment all Hell broke loose. "I NEED MORE BOOTS!" screamed Mai and Yami at the same time as they suddenly began to run all over the store snatching up every single black boot in sight "NOW BRING THEM TO ME!". Meanwhile Varon was standing outside observing the entire scene.

"She's so cute when she's crazy" sighed Varon dreamily as he pressed his face against the window "That's the kind of woman I want..". Whenever Mai was around, Varon was completely unable to think straight and now was one of those occasions. He completely forgot that instead of waking up in the body of a cute teenage biker, he woke up in the body of a sexy teenage girl. The only thing Varon remembered was that he still had tons of cash left. He also decided that maybe now he could impress Mai(and possibly get a date) if he was able to buy her all the boots she wanted. "This is gonna be great!" thought Varon to himself as he marched right into Pirate's Boot-E "I'm finally gonna get the girl of my dreams!"

"My head is killing me..." muttered Raphael as his buzz slowly died down and his mind came back into focus "And why am I so hungry?"

Raphael then looked around and was surprised to find himself standing in the middle of the music store with a group of people surrounding him and clapping. "Yeah that was cool!" shouted Mako as he clapped wildly "Where'd you learn to dance like that?". "I say that was excellent!" said Bakura as he clapped politely "I certainly wish I could dance in that way". "It was good...but not as good as how I dance" said Duke Devlin with a conceited smirk on his face "Just ask the ladies". "Duke! Duke! He's so cute!" shouted some girls dressed as cheerleaders "He's so cute and his name rhymes with puke!". Before the girls had even finished cheering, Duke passed out and hit the floor with a loud thud. "What's going on?" said Raphael as he looked down and realized that he still had his Guardian Eatos figurine in arms "What are you people talking about?".

"You've been dancing nonstop for the last hour!" said Serenity as she suddenly tossed a quarter at him "You earned this!". A few of the others nodded in agreement and began to toss coins at Raphael and begged him to dance some more. "Can you do the hustle?" said Mako as he pulled out a quarter "There's a shiny new quarter in it for you if you do!". "No! Can you do the moonwalk?" said Bakura as he fished around in his pocket and pulled out a one pound piece "Uh...do you take British currency?". "Hey can you do the robot?" slurred Duke as he suddenly woke up and held up a quarter "I bet you can't...no one does the robot like me...".

Raphael couldn't believe that in his "altered" state he ended up making a fool of himself and attracting a crowd in the process. "Are you people insane?" said Raphael as he frowned and tried to give them the angriest look possible "I'm not dancing for your amusement! Especially not for a few measly cents!". "Oh please do one more!" begged Serenity as she fished around in her purse "I'll give you a dollar if you do the lambada!". Suddenly the others dug around in their pockets and began to pull out more money in an attempt to get Raphael to dance some more. "So you won't do the chicken dance?" said a strange looking pink haired man named Siegfried Von Schroeder who looked like one of Pegasus' long lost relatives "Not even if I pay you?". "FOR THE LAST TIME NO!" shouted Raphael who had pretty much lost his patience at that point "I'm not degrading myself anymore for a few dollars!

"Hmph what a pity" said Siegfried as he suddenly reached into his pocket and withdrew a one hunder dollar bill "I was willing to give you this if you did the chicken dance...but I guess you're not interested". Suddenly Raphael realized that he had a little dilemma: Should he walk off and keep what was left of his dignity intact or should he further humiliate himself and make some money in the process? "What would any other person do in this situation?" thought Raphael as he stared at the currency in Siegfried's hand "I need to think fast!"

"I like oo...!" slurred the now extremely drunk pink haired girl as she held a Cosmopolitan in one hand and had her other arm wrapped around Dartz "You o...ow too reat a...lady!"

"Yes yes my dear" said Dartz with a perverted grin on his face as the drunken girl leaned against him for support "Now lets get you another Cosmopolitan". Dartz and the pink haired girl had gone to a bar not too far from the mall and things were going better than expected. The girl hadn't expected Dartz to be so generous when it came to the cocktails, so she just kept drinking and drinking the cocktails he offered her. Dartz just smiled as he observed her getting drunk and before long her motor skills had gone downhill and she could hardly form a coherent sentence.

"Now how would you like to be queen of Atlantis for a day my dear?" chuckled Dartz who had completely forgotten all about following around and tormenting his minions "We can leave this place and go someplace...more fun". He nodded suggestively which was pretty much a complete waste of the time since the girl was too drunk to notice. "A fun...ace?" slurred the girl as she suddenly pulled away from Dartz and just stared at him "I...ow ust the..place...ollow me". The girl began to stagger towards the door and she beckoned for Dartz to follow. "I think I need to get out more often" thought Dartz to himself as he gulped down the rest of his martini and began to follow the girl "Now we'll see if all those yoga lessons I've taken have paid off".

"I can't believe I've only managed to find twelve trenchcoats" said Seto as he wandered down one of the aisles of the store "Why aren't there any good ones today?"

So far Seto had walked down almost every single aisle in the store and tried on dozens of trenchcoats, but still nothing. The trenchcoats were alright but they were nothing truly special. None of them seemed to stand out and scream "BUY ME!" like a few of the other trenchcoats that Seto had purchased in the past. Seto turned around a corner and began to wander down another aisle and as he approached the end, that's when he saw it. There stood a mannequin wearing the most incredible trenchcoat that Seto had ever seen. It was a beautiful full length solid black trenchcoat with a high collar and three shiny silver buckles close to the bottom of each sleeve. "THAT COAT!" exclaimed Seto as his eyes lit up like a little boy in a candy store "I MUST HAVE IT!"

"Ugh these trenchcoats are even worse than the ones at Old Navy" said Amelda in a disgusted tone of voice "Why aren't there any good ones today?". So far Amelda had wandered all over the store, tried on a few trenchcoats, but they just weren't that great. The store was completely deserted at that point since all of the salesmen were still traumatized by what they saw earlier. "You'd think there'd be at least one trenchcoat I like" said Amelda to himself as he looked down at the ground as he walked "Why isn't there-OW!". Amelda had walked right into a mannequin and bumped his head pretty hard. He was about to get mad, but then he noticed the trenchcoat the mannequin was wearing. "THAT COAT! It's black, it's got buckles, and-" exclaimed Amelda as he quickly grabbed the sleeve with the pricetag "AND IT'S MY SIZE!".

"GET YOUR HANDS OFF THAT TRENCHCOAT!" suddenly screamed Seto as he leapt out of nowhere and quickly grabbed the other sleeve "I SAW IT FIRST!". "KAIBA!" thought Amelda as he suddenly tightened his grip on the trenchcoat when he saw his enemy "What's he doing here?". Normally Amelda would have taken this opportunity to duel Kaiba and attempt to steal his soul, but now something bigger(and possibly more important) was at stake. "THE HELL YOU DID!" screamed Amelda as he began to try and pull the trenchcoat away from his archenemy "I SAW IT FIRST!".

They both immediately began to tug at the trenchcoat's sleeves and it was an all out war. When it came to trenchcoats, both Seto and Amelda were just as crazy and obsessed. They were always in search of the perfect trenchcoat, and this particular trenchcoat seemed to embody perfection. Now they both wanted it and they would resort to whatever it took to keep the other from getting it.

"ROLAND!" shouted Seto who was determined to keep the strange redhead crossdresser from getting the beautiful trenchcoat "I NEED BACKUP!"


	16. How Low Will You Go?

Author's Notes: Thank you so much for all of the reviews! Anyways this chapter is the longest chapter I've ever done to date...so prepare to do alot of reading :D

Disclaimer: I do not own Yugioh, any of the characters, songs, cds, dances, any of the stores mentioned(except the ones I made up), Hello Kitty or Star Wars, so don't sue me:D

**How Low Will You Go?**

"I want my mommy!" cried a little brown haired boy as wiped his nose on his shirt sleeve while he hid under a bench along with his two friends "I'm so scared!"

Thanks to Amelda, the three boys got a glimpse into their future and now their minds were completely warped. The thought of growing up to be a dirty slob, a guy with his pants on fire, and a girly man, was too much for them. The fact that they might even end up working for some freaky guy with long blue hair and a purple suit was even scarier. Now all they could do was hide under a bench and pray that the mall closed soon so they could go home.

"I'm even more scared than you!" cried the little redhead boy as he wiped the tears away from his eyes with the sleeves on his jacket "I don't wanna grow up to be a sissy!". Suddenly the blonde haired boy who happened to be the oldest of three, realized just how childish they were being so he crawled out from under the bench. "You two babies can stay under there and cry" said the blonde haired boy as his blue eyes cautiously scanned the area "But I bet he's not even here anymore". "You think?" said the redhead boy as he wiped some more tears away from his grey eyes "What if he's still here?". "Yeah!" sniffled the little brown haired boy as he looked up at the older boy with his baby blue eyes "What are we gonna do then?".

Something suddenly caught the blonde boy's eye and a huge grin lit up his face. "We're gonna make him pay!" said the blonde haired boy in a triumphant voice as he suddenly ran off "And I know just how! Come on!". The other two boys quickly crawled out from under the bench and ran after their friend to see what he had in mind. Suddenly their eyes also lit up when also saw what their friend had seen. "YES!" cried both boys as they quickly ran off after their friend "This is gonna be so cool!".

"Let go of me you evil witch!" protested Marik as Ishizu dragged him along by the arm "I've got the Millenium Rod and I'm not afraid to use it!".

After being knocked unconscious by Raphael's shopping bags, Marik didn't wake up for quite awhile and when he did it wasn't pleasant. "Actually I have the Millenium Rod and you're not getting it back" said Ishizu as she pointed to the Millenium Rod sticking out of her purse as she dragged Marik towards The Gap "At least not until you buy some decent clothes". "NO! ANYPLACE BUT THAT!" screamed Marik as he tried to free himself from Ishizu's iron-like grip "THEIR CLOTHES ARE TOO PREPPY!". "Their clothes are perfectly fine" said Ishizu as she glanced back at him and then looked forward "Now why don't you-DEAR RA WHAT IS THAT?".

"Oooh this cd is even better than I hoped for!" cried Pegasus as he walked/danced while listening to his new pink walkman "It makes me want to dance, dance, dance!".

After getting Varon to unwrap his precious copy of "L.A.M.B", Pegasus decided that he wanted to listen to it right away. So he popped into "Aahs", bought a pink walkman, popped in his new cd, and started to enjoy it. Unfortunately Pegasus always seemed to have a nasty little habit whenever he listened to a new cd: He would sing really REALLY loud. "Take a chance you stupid ho!" sang Pegasus at the top of his lungs as he happily danced through the mall oblivious to the stares of horror/disgust he was getting "Take a chance you stupid ho!". Ishizu was just plain shocked by what she was seeing so she momentarily released her grip on Marik, and this was more than enough time for...

POW!

Marik wasn't one to lose a moment so he quickly grabbed the Millenium Rod from Ishizu's purse, raised it up, and clubbed her in the head with it as hard as he could. Ishizu immediately blacked out and fell to the ground while Marik just stood there triumphantly since he had once again avoided another trip to The Gap. "Nighty night Ishizu.." cackled Marik as he looked down at his unconscious sister "That's what you get for making me shop for clothes I hate!". Marik quickly looked around and suddenly ran towards the nearest escalator. "Now to continue my mission!" said Marik as he raised the Millenium Rod over his head "To push the Pharoah down the stairs and become the new Pharoah! Mwahahahha!"

"There be no more black boots that ye haven't tried on..." said the pirate/salesman as he wearily began to ring up Mai and Yami "So will ye be paying cash or credit?"

So far Mai and Yami had tried on absolutely every single black boot in the store. So all together each one had about 40 to 50 pairs of boots that they wanted to buy so far. The salesman was really tired at that point since they kept rushing him and kicking him in the butt. The good thing though was that now there was absolutely nothing left for them to try on, so they would have no choice but to leave. He didn't count on a new shipment of boots being delivered right as Mai and Yami were about to pay. "What's in those boxes?" asked Yami as he noticed a delivery man wheel in a huge cart filled with shoe boxes "Are they black boots?". "Uh...no they be ladies boots" said the salesman but then he noticed that Mai seemed to be getting excited "They be pastel ladies boots". Unfortunately the delivery man accidently tripping and knocking over the shoe boxes and revealing their contents. There was nothing BUT black boots inside and they were the latest fashions too. Mai and Yami's eyes filled with the same psychotic look as before and they immediately jumped onto the pile of black boots and began to greedily dig through it. At this point the salesman couldn't take these two psychos anymore...so he did the logical thing.

THUMP

He fainted and fell behind right onto the pile of shoe boxes that contained all of the boots the psychos were going to buy. At that moment Varon walked up to where Yami and Mai were currently digging for boots and just stared at them. "Okay this is it Varon you can do this" thought Varon to himself as at Mai who was currently holding several boots in her arms "This is your chance to impress her". So he walked over, grinned at Mai, and said "Hey Mai you're looking really good right now". Mai stopped digging through the pile of boots momentarily, but soon she realized who it was. "I know I do" said Mai as she turned her attention back to the boots "Which is more than I can say for you!". "What are you talking about Mai?" said Varon who still didn't remember that he was currently female "I was just trying to give you a compliment". "I don't need compliments from tacky out of style tramps like you" said Mai as she suddenly slid off of the pile of boots with her newest boots "Now beat it!". Why was Mai being so mean all of a sudden? Well meaner than usual at least. It made no sense to Varon but then he remembered why he had gone in there in the first place. "But...what happens if I buy you all of those boots?" said Varon as he suddenly pulled out the huge wad of cash "Would you go out with me?". "WHAT?" shouted Mai as she suddenly dropped the all of the boots from shock "I hate to break it to you but I don't swing that way!". "I think you're barking up the wrong tree" said Yami as he suddenly walked over with an armful of platform boots "I don't think she likes women". Suddenly Varon was snapped back into reality, he slowly looked down, and remembered what he currently looked like.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

"HOW COULD I FORGET THAT I WOKE UP LIKE THIS?" thought Varon as he suddenly ran out the door of the shoe store and down the nearest escaltor "DAMN THAT DARTZ! HE'LL PAY FOR ALL OF THIS!". Varon was in such a hurry to get out of the shoe store that he completely failed to notice that he had dropped the wad of money. "And what do we have here?" said Mai as she noticed the huge wad of bills that Varon had dropped "There's enough in here to pay for all of these boots!". "Well lucky you.." said Yami who was secretly kicking himself for not noticing the money first "Everything just works out for you doesn't it?". "Arr...was that all a dream?" groaned the salesman as he suddenly woke up and slowly sat up "Or did it really-AHHHHHHH THEY'RE STILL HERE!". "I'm done looking for boots today" said Mai as she casually tossed the wad of bills towards the salesmen"I've got all the boots I need". "Same here..." said Yami who was still sulking because Mai had gotten the money first "Oh Ra...why didn't I see it first?". "Actually there be more than enough money here to pay for both ye boots!" said the salesman as he finished the counting the money "And ye'd even have some dubloons left over...for a tip perhaps?". "Well it's not my money so what the Hell?" said Mai as she casually flipped her hair "After all it was courtesy of that tacky little tramp". "Ra bless that little tramp!" sniffed Yami who was overwhelmed by the fact that he had just scored tons of free boots "She's brought us so much joy!"."Now time for ye to set sail!" said the salesman as he quickly helped Mai and Yami carry all of their boots out of the store "Now off ye go!". Now both Mai and Yami were happy since they had tons of new black boots. The salesman was even happier though since not only were they leaving, but they'd given him a very generous tip. "It be days like these that make me want to quit" said the salesman as they walked off but then he looked down at the five hundred dollar tip he'd earned "But now I'm off to bury me treasure!".

"OW!" screamed Amelda as Seto suddenly poked him in the ribs as hard as he could with an umbrella picked up somewhere "You're a dirty cheater Kaiba!"

So far Amelda and Seto had trashed half of "Trenchcoat Inferno" during their fight for the beautiful trenchcoat. They knocked over racks of trenchcoats, knocked down several mannequins, knocked several salesmen/customers/ Roland unconscious, and even broke a few of the windows. The remaining salesmen and customers quickly ran out of the store before they too ended up getting hurt. Neither one had let go of the beautiful trenchcoat, but so far Seto was winning the fight since he kept cheating. Now there was no possible way Amelda would ever win since he was no match for Seto's umbrella. He was confident that the trenchcoat was as good as his...but he didn't count on one thing.

"SETO!" screamed Mokuba at the top of his lungs as he suddenly ran into the store and clung to Seto as tightly as he could "I-I-I just ran into Pegasus! Now I'm scared!"

"Let go Mokuba!" shouted Seto as he tried to pull the frightened boy off of himself "Can't you see that I'm-OW". During that moment that Seto got distracted, Amelda grabbed the umbrella from Seto and poked him as hard as he could. Seto was now not only weaponless, but enraged as well. There was no way he'd ever let some sissy girly crossdresser have HIS beautiful trenchcoat! He had to do something...and that's when he noticed it. Seto and Mokuba had been in a toy store earlier that day since Mokuba wanted a real life light sabre like the ones in the movie "Starwars". Seto had no choice but to buy him one after he Mokuba threatened to throw a tantrum if he didn't. Now it was obviously a good thing that he had. "Let go of that trenchcoat!" shouted Seto as he quickly began to reach into the bag hanging off of Mokuba's arm "This is your only warning". "That's pretty big talk for someone without his umbrella!" said Amelda with a confident smirk as he prepared to poke Seto once again "Now prepare to feel-HOLY CRAP!". Before Amelda even knew what had happened, Seto had pulled out the green light sabre and slashed the umbrella in half. Now Seto was armed with a light sabre while Amelda was left with half of an umbrella. "So are you ready to give up?" said Seto confidently as pointed the green light sabre in Amelda's face. "You do realize I can slice in you in half with this thing right?". "He's right..." sniffled Mokuba as he finally let go of his brother and moved aside "It's a limited edition Yoda Real Action Lightsabre". Amelda didn't want to give the trenchcoat up, but he knew he was no match for a light sabre. Even if he tried something, then Kaiba might accidently end up slashing the trenchcoat and then no one would have it. Amelda lowered his head in painful resignation and was about to let go of the trenchcoat when suddenly...

"CATCH!" cried the little red haired boy which immediately caught Amelda's attention and he saw a blue light sabre sailing towards the air towards him "Now you can fight him!"

The three little boys had also bought the real life light sabres and they were going to use them to teach Amelda a lesson. Then they happened to notice lots of people running out of a store so they decided to go see. When they got there they saw Amelda poking Seto with the umbrella, so they decided this was the time to make their move. Unfortunately they didn't count on Seto having his own light sabre and threatening to hurt Amelda with it. They couldn't allow this since THEY wanted to hurt Amelda. Now thanks to their help, Amelda had a light sabre too and the fight would be fair once again. "Now you're definitely never getting that trenchcoat Kaiba!" shouted Amelda as he pointed the blue light sabre in Seto's face "It's as good as mine!". The light sabres hummed as they continued to fight as aggressively as they could(without letting go of or tearing the trenchcoat of course). After a few minutes though, the battery died on Amelda's light sabre. He tried to get it to work once again, but Seto also took his opportunity to kick him and knock him right into a mannequin. "So..this is where it ends!" laughed Seto as he pointed the light sabre right at Amelda's throat "NOW LET GO OF THE TRENCHCOAT OR-".

POW!

In the end Seto's life sabre proved to be no match for the weapon Amelda used against him: A good old fashioned mannequin arm! The mighty Kaiba just toppled over and fell to the ground while all the kids just stared in shock. Now not only had he beaten his archenemy, but the trenchcoat was his. "Finally!" said Amelda with a smile as he pulled the trenchcoat away from the now unconscious Kaiba "It's all mine!". Amelda then triumphantly took off his old trenchcoat and immediately put on the beautiful new trenchcoat. "You hurt Seto...Thank you so much!" cried Mokuba as he suddenly ran over and reached into Seto's trenchcoat and pulled out his wallet " Now I can go get a corndog!". Mokuba quickly put the wallet in his pocket and happily ran out of the store.

"That was so cool!" cried the little brown haired boy as he ran over and looked up at Amelda "Can you teach me to fight like that?". "You're tougher than you look!" said the little blonde haired boy as he also ran over "You're not a sissy at all!". "Now I'm glad that I'm gonna grow up to be like you!" said the little redhead boy as he looked up at Amelda with a smile "Now you're my idol and I'd do anything for you!". "Anything? Well you can carry my old trenchcoat" said Amelda as he suddenly tossed his old trenchcoat at the kid "I don't want it to get wrinkled". "No fair!" cried the little brown haired boy "I want to carry it!". "So do I!" cried the blonde as he tried to pull the trenchcoat away from the redhead "I'm bigger than both of you!". "No I wanna carry it!" cried the redhead as he tugged at the trenchcoat "He said I could carry it!". Finally they settled the argument by draping the trenchcoat over their heads like a tarp and so they could all carry it. "Well I'm done with my shopping" thought Amelda as he began to walk out of the store with his new entourage following him "I'm guess I'd better see what Raphael and Varon are up to".

"This is so degrading..." thought Raphael to himself who was in the middle of doing the Hamsterdance "But so far I've made over a thousand dollars"

So far Raphael had done the chicken dance, the lambada, the macarena, ballet, flamenco, the mashed potato, the twist, the hustle, the robot, and the electric slide. The crowd loved him and they cheered wildly as he danced his heart out. Each time he finished dancing though, he told them that he'd had enough. Unfortunately(or fortunately) each time he did, Siegfried would reach into his pocket, pull out a hundred dollar bill, and request a new dance. "This is great fun!" said Bakura as he tossed a penny at Raphael "He certainly can dance!". "I've never seen anyone do this dance before!" said Mako as he tossed a dubloon at Raphael "But it sure is funny!". "Whoo way to dance!" shouted Duke Devlin with a smug smirk on his face "I've never seen anyone even attempt the Hamsterdance before". "I love the Hamsterdance!" cried out Serenity as she watched Raphael dance "It's so cool!". "You do?" said Duke when he noticed how cute Serenity was "Uh..well no one can do it like me!". Serenity just ignored him though and kept staring at Raphael in awe. "I think I'll have him do the Cotton Eye Joe next" said Siegfried as he chuckled in amusement "Yes that should be a good dance for him to do"

"ALRIGHT THAT'S IT!" shouted Raphael as he came to a sudden stop "I'm sick and tired of dancing for your amusement! I'm outta here!". "Really?" said Siegfried as he began to reach into his pocket "What a pity...I wanted to see you do the Cotton Eye Joe". "Didn't your hear me?" shouted Raphael who was already pretty fed up "I'm through with this nonsense!". "So you wouldn't do it..."said Siegfried as he suddenly pulled out what was in his pocket "Not even for five hundred dollars?". Everyone suddenly gasped and looked at Siegfried as if though he were insane. "Not even for five hundred dollars!" shouted Raphael who had already made up his mind "So find someone else to dance for you!". There was no way he'd let himself be humiliated any further by some pink haired guy that made Amelda look extremely manly. "Oh my...look what I found" said Siegfried as he suddenly reached into another pocket and pulled more money "I found an extra five hundred...what a pity that you're not interested".

"Whoo this is fun isn't it?" cried out the pink haired girl who had miraculously sobered up(much to Dartz's disappointement) "Don't you think so?"

When Dartz said he wanted to go someplace more "fun", the pink haired girl misunderstood his definition of "fun". So she took him to place that she liked to go to whenever she wanted to have fun: a rave. "What on Earth is this?" said Dartz who was very mad that she had completely misunderstood what he meant "And why are you dressed like that!"."Come on lets dance!" said the pink haired girl who for some reason was now covered from head to toe in glitter and glowsticks "You're gonna have so much fun!". "I'd might as well go back to following those three morons around" muttered Dartz as he suddenly remembered what he had been doing earlier "At least that was more interest-HELLO!". At that moment a few girls wearing nothing but short skirts, skimpy tops, and lots of glitter happened to walk by. "Well...maybe I can stay for awhile" said Dartz with a perverted grin on his face as he leered at the girls "It's not like three morons are doing anything interesting". "Good!" shouted the girl as she grabbed Dartz's arm "But first we need to get you in the mood!"

**A Few Minutes Later**

The pink haired girl decided that Dartz was much too serious looking his his purple suit(hehehe) so she put some glow sticks in his hair. She also gave him some sort ot drink that she claimed would make everything even more fun. "It fizzes..." thought Dartz as he looked down at the cup in his hand "Well..I guess it can't be too bad". Suddenly he was filled with an irresistable urge to dance and there was no one that could stop him. All of the other people at the rave just cheered like crazy and crowded around as he began to break dance. "Wow look at him go!" shouted a guy dressed up like Luke Skywalker as Dartz began to spin around on his head like a top "Who is he?". "I dunno but he's with me!" shouted the pink haired girl as she stood there with the others "He calls himself the King of Atlantis!". "I don't call myself the King of Atlantis!" shouted Dartz even though he was upside down and spinning like a top "I AM THE KING OF ATLANTIS!". "King of Atlantis?" shouted all of the others as they looked at each other in disbelief and then at Dartz "King of Atlantis! Whoo!". " I haven't partied like this since the Roman Empire!" shouted Dartz as he suddenly jumped up and began to wave a pair of glowsticks while the crowd cheered "Hmm...I wonder how Brutus, Cassius, and the rest of the gang are doing?".

"That was so humiliating..." whined Varon as he hid under a bench in hopes that no one could see him "And worst of all I dropped my money!"

Of all the humiliating things to have happened in the day, forgetting he was female and hitting on Mai had to be the worst one. Now even if he did become male again, there was no chance of impressing Mai since he didn't have any money. Now all he could do was hide under the bench, hope that the mall closed soon, and pray that Joey didn't show up and try to hit on him again. "This is all Dartz's fault..." muttered Varon to himself as he continued looking at the people walking by "Well he'll pay soon enough!". Suddenly someone in a pair of red and black boots came to a stop in front of the bench and they were being followed by three other people...obviously kids.

"Where the Hell are they?" said Amelda who had already been on several floors at that point "I should have run into one of them by now". "Hey I know those boots!" said Varon as he suddenly peered out from under the bench "Amelda down here!". Amelda and his little entourage immediately looked down and saw a pair of baby blue eyes staring up at them. "What are you doing under there?" said Amelda with an amused smirk as Varon began to pull himself and all of his shopping bags out from under the bench "Did your purse fall under the bench?". "That's none of your business!" snapped Varon as he quickly dusted himself off "Right now we have to find Raph and get out of here!". "Hey who is she?" giggled the little brown haired boy as he and the other boys peered out from under Amelda's trenchcoat "Is she your girlfriend?". "GIRLFRIEND?" shouted both Amelda and Varon at the same time "NO WAY!".

"Hey what's going on over there?" suddenly said the little blonde haired boy as he pointed to the music store "Lets go see!". The three boys quickly took off running and Amelda had no choice but to follow them since they had his trenchcoat. "Heheh you'll get what you deserve Amelda" thought Varon to himself as he quickly followed Amelda "You'll never look at anything strawberry scented the same way again!". They all quickly reached the store and they noticed a big crowd of people looking at something.

"Come on kick higher!" shouted Duke as Raphael danced the Cotton Eye Joe "You're barely kicking your leg up at all!"

Even after Raphael swore not to dance anymore and keep his dignity, Siegfried managed to get him to dance again. Now he continued to make a total fool of himself but at least no one he knew would ever find out about it. "It's a good thing no one knows I'm here" thought Raphael to himself as he finally began to kick his leg up higher "I can imagine what would happen if-"

"RAPHAEL?" shouted both Amelda in Varon as they finally managed to see what everyone was staring at "What the Hell are you doing?".

"DON'T LOOK AT ME!" shouted Raphael as he quickly stopped dancing "Go away and pretend you didn't see anything!". "Hey I didn't tell you to stop!" suddenly snapped Siegfried since he wasn't paying him for nothing "Now stop talking to those two and-Ahhhhhhhhhhh!". At that moment Raphael grabbed Siegfried from the neck, lifted him off the floor, and looked him straight in the eyes. "I've had it up to here!" shouted Raphael as he began to tighten his hold on Siegfried's neck "I don't want one thousand dollars...I want ten thousand!". "Ten...thousand" croaked Siegfried who was desperately struggling to breath "You're out of your mind!". Suddenly Raphael tighten his grip so much that Siegfried's eyes were nearly popping out of his head. "Here you go!" croaked Siegfried as he quickly reached into his pocket and handed all of his money over to Raphael "It's all yours!". Raphael quickly counted the money and when he realized it was about right he looked straight at Siegfried and said "It's a pleasure doing business with you". He then simply tossed Siegfried aside like a rag doll while Duke, Serenity, Bakura, and Mako ran away as quickly as they could.

"Wow he's really girly!" giggled the brown haired boy as Siegfried coughed and struggled to catch his breath "He even got pink hair!". "Actually it's purple..." said Siegfried as he continued coughing and gasping for air "I just dye it pink...".

"Well it looks like we're all together again" said Raphael as he quickly put the money into his pocket "And I see you two did some shopping". "Not as much as you" said Amelda as he pointed to all of the bags that Raphael had "And I thought Varon had alot of bags!". "Well at least I wasn't selfish like you!" said Varon as he reached into one of his bags "I got you each a nice little present!". " I got you guys something too..." said Raphael as he began to look through his bags "I just don't know what bag they're in...". Varon then quickly pulled out two nicely wrapped gifts and handed them over to his friends. "I wonder what this could be?" said Raphael as he quickly tore his gift open "WHAT THE HELL?". There sat five little Kuribohs, each a different color, looking up at Raphael as cute as could be. He cautiously poked one and it made a cute little squeaking sound. Raphael began to feel really nauseous at that moment. "Uh thanks..." said Raphael as she shoved his gift into a bag(there were no trashcans around) "So what did he get you Amelda?".

"This smells like strawberries.." said Amelda as he cautiously began to open the gift "Do I even want to know why?". Varon just grinned like crazy and anxiously waited for what was next. When Amelda saw what the gift was, his grey eyes opened wide with horror. The sweet strawberry scent was coming from the cutest little Hello Kitty plushie he had ever seen. "IT'S EVEN DRESSED LIKE A STRAWBERRY!" screamed Amelda as she suddenly dropped the plushie, threw himself to the ground, and began to have violent convulsions "AHHHHHHHHH!".

The three little boys put down the trenchcoat and just stared at their new idol as he twitched on the ground. "I wonder what he's doing?" said the redhead boy as he stared at his friends "Should we do it too?". They looked at each other, then they looked up at Raphael and girly Varon, then they stared at Amelda once again. "YEAH!" shouted all three boys as they suddenly threw themselves on the ground and began to twitch while shouting "AHHHHHHHHHHH!".

"Heheheh this is the best part of the day!" laughed Varon as he looked up at Raphael who was just shaking his head in disbelief "I know what I'm getting him for his birthday!".


	17. Stark Raving Mad

Disclaimer: I do not own Yugioh, any of the characters, Hello Kitty so don't sue me:D

Author's Notes: Thanks to everyone who reviewed my story! Sorry the updates have taken so long but I'm currently stuck in summer school so that's slowing me down a bit.

**Stark Raving Mad**

"Yami where are you?" shouted Tea as she walked around the mall in search of the sexy pharoah "Why does he always disappear?".

After nearly committing murder at the music store, Tea decided to resume her search for Yami. So far she had checked on all the floors and asked several people but nothing so far. Suddenly she noticed a boot store so she decided to check. There was nobody inside the boot store, except for some guy dressed as a pirate. Aside from the fact that he was dressed as a pirate, the guy was kinda weird since he was muttering something about "boot obsessed maniacs". Tea had a feeling she knew who he was talking about so she asked him if Yami had been there. The pirate confirmed that not only had he been there but he had been there with an equally crazy blonde bimbo. "A blonde bimbo?" shouted Tea who was suddenly overcome with jealousy like no other "NO! She can't have him! He's mine!". Tea immediately raced out of the store with a look of murder in her eye. There was no way she was going to let some bimbo get HER sexy pharoah! "Arr..." said the pirate salesman as he looked at Tea run off like crazy "Why are the pretty ones always so crazy?"

"Do you need anything while you're down there Amelda?" said Varon mockingly as he peered under the bench where Amelda was currently hiding " Strawberries? A kitty maybe?"

After having convulsions for nearly half an hour, Amelda finally calmed down. He was still pretty traumatized though so he decided to take refuge underneath a nearby bench. Now he was curled up in a fetal position and trying to forget the horribly cute Strawberry Hello Kitty."Strawberries?" gasped Amelda as he had a sudden flashback to the plushie "Strawberry... kitty... STRAWBERRY KITTY! AHHHH!". Amelda's screams were so loud that several people stopped and looked around but weren't sure where it was coming from. "This is just ridiculous" said Raphael as he knelt down, grabbed Amelda's leg, and pulled him out from under the bench "You're an adult but you're acting like a child!". Amelda turned several shades of red when he realized that Raphael was right. He then pulled himself off the ground and dusted himself off. This was something he definitely wanted no one to remember later on.

Varon just snickered as he snuck up behind Amelda and held the plushie in hand. How anyone could be afraid of such a cute thing was beyond him. Suddenly he took the plushie and tapped Amelda on the shoulder with it. The moment Amelda turned around he found himself once again face to face with Strawberry Kitty yet again. That cuteness combined with the yummy scent was just too much for Amelda, so he did the only thing he could do.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

A few seconds later Varon was lying facedown on the ground howling from the laughter. Not only had Amelda screamed like a sissy girl, but he also ran off like one too. "That..." laughed Varon as tears streamed down his cheeks "That was too much!". "I used to think that Master Dartz paid me to babysit both of you" said Raphael as he just looked down at Varon and shook his head "Now I know he does". The three little boys were also on the ground laughing like crazy. "Did you see the way he screamed when he saw that kitty?" laughed the redhead boy "He's a big scaredy cat!". "Not like you though" said the blonde boy "You're an ever bigger scaredy cat!". At that moment the little brown haired boy went over, picked up the kitty, and tapped the redhead on the shoulder. "I'm not a scaredy cat!" shouted the redhead before he turned around to look "I'm-AHHHHHHHH!". Before long the young redhead was also running at full speed while screaming at the top of his lungs. Now there were two redheads on the run, two brunettes laughing like crazy, and two blondes wondering why they hung out with such idiots.

"My head..."groaned Kaiba as he woke up and found himself lying on the ground for some reason "Wait-The trenchcoat where is it?"

Kaiba quickly stood up and realized that he was still at Trenchcoat Inferno, but the place was trashed. He remembered seeing a beautiful black trenchcoat on a mannequin but everything after that was a blur. Now he just rubbed his head and wondered why the entire place was trashed and where the trenchcoat had gone. "Mr. Kaiba are you alright?" said some salesmen as they suddenly ran up to Seto. "Hey only I can ask him that!" shouted Roland who had regained consciousness as he ran up to Seto "Mr. Kaiba are you alright?". "I know I wanted a black trenchcoat.." said Seto as he continued rubbing his head "But where did it go?". At that moment Roland and the salesmen began to mumble something. It almost sounded like they said "crossdressing trenchcoat thief" but he wasn't quite sure.

"What are you saying?" said Seto as he frowned and folded his arms over his chest "I don't understand". The all just sweated nervously and once again began to mumble the same thing. Seto was beginning to lose his patience since he wanted a straight answer. "Hey Seto!" said Mokuba as he suddenly skipped up to him holding a corndog "Want a bite?". "Not now Mokuba!" snapped Seto whose only concern at that moment was the trenchcoat "Now where the Hell is that trenchcoat? I want an answer now!". "You mean that black trenchcoat you were fighting over?" said Mokuba as his corndog dripped ketchup on the ground "That crossdresser won the fight so he took it". "WHAT?" screeched Kaiba as he suddenly grabbed Mokuba so hard that he dropped his corndog "WHAT DID YOU SAY?". "Hey!" shouted Mokuba as he looked at the corndog on the ground "I only got to take one bite of that!". Seto suddenly regained his memory of the fight with Amelda and he felt rage like no other.

"How dare he take that coat?" screamed Kaiba as he spun around and then pointed at Roland " Find him and get that trenchcoat back!". "Yes sir!"shouted Roland as he quickly ran out of the store. "Stupid crossdressing trenchcoat thief!" screamed Seto as he stomped his foot "When I find him he'll pay!". Seto then ran out of the store like crazy and knocked down anyone foolish enough to get in his way.The salesmen were about to breathe a sigh of relief...but then they realized something. "Wait...he didn't actually buy any trenchcoats today!" shouted the salesman in the lime green suit "Wait Mr. Kaiba come back!". All of the other salesmen also ran out of the store and cursed the crossdresser who caused so much trouble. There was one person though who was happy that Amelda had caused trouble. "If it weren't for that crossdresser I'd still be broke and hungry" though Mokuba as he pulled Seto's wallet out of his pocket "I think I'll get another corndog and some fries too!". Mokuba then happily skipped out of Trenchcoat Inferno and headed back up to the foodcourt.

"Yes this is certainly the life" said Dartz as he sipped a martini while being carried on the shoulders of his newest followers "Now why can't my other minions ever do this for me?".

After seeing Dartz breakdance , the ravers were convinced he was the coolest thing ever. They were also so impressed with his dancing skills that they also crowned him their "King of Dance". Then again after seeing him spin on his head for half an hour, there was no way they could afford not to. Now they vowed to follow him around wherever he went...at least til someone took his title away. Either way Dartz was enjoying having his butt kissed by these new minions, even if they were crazy glowstick wearing, glitter loving, high as a kite, strangely dressed weirdos. "Hmm they're almost like the minions I already have" thought Dartz as he pulled out his camcorder once again "Well minus the glowsticks". "Where to now King Dartz?" said the pink haired girl who was leading the pack of ravers "The nearest bar? Another rave?".

"Take me back to the mall" said Dartz as he checked all the footage he had gotten so far "I have some unfinished business to attend to". The pink hair girl then blew a whistle she had, pulled out two glowsticks, and began to point them in the direction of the mall. The other ravers just nodded and began to follow her down the street while carrying Dartz. "Well I've just became a king for the second time" said Dartz as he zoomed in on the pink haired girl "Now who wants to be my queen?". "Me!" suddenly cried several groupies as they practically threw themselves at Dartz "Pick me King Dartz!". "This is the happiest day of my life" sniffed Dartz as he wiped a tear from his eye "Thank you Great Leviathan!"

"Yami! Where are you?" screamed Tea as she traveled up an escalator still in search of the Pharoah "You and your bimbo can't hide from me!"

Tea was so filled with rage at that point that she planned to beat the blonde bimbo accompanying Yami on sight. She was thinking of ways to torture her when she heard a horrible sound so she looked over to see what it was. At that moment Pegasus was coming down the escalator in the opposite direction. He was still listening to his new cd while singing at the top of his lungs and shaking his butt like crazy. It was absolutely the most horrible thing Tea had ever seen so she had no choice but to run up the escalators to get away. Unfortunately as she reached the top of the stairs, some moron was coming down the wrong way. They both collided, ended up losing their balance and tumbled down the escalator.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

"What the Hell were you doing?" screamed Tea as she pushed the guy off of her "Are you crazy?". Amelda just groaned, sat up, and rubbed his head since he could no longer remember why he had been running. "Look lady I don't even know why-" shouted Amelda who didn't like to have some stranger shout at him "You again?". At that moment he felt his face turn completely red from the embarassment. When Tea realized who it was, her face also ended up turning the same shade of red. They both quickly stood up and just stared at each other in disbelief. "Why do you keep showing up wherever I go?" said Tea once she snapped out of it "Are you stalking me?"

"What?" shouted Amelda who couldn't believe what he was hearing "Who do you think you are? I wouldn't waste my time-WHAT THE HELL?"

"This trenchcoat should have been for Mr. Kaiba!" shouted Roland as he tugged at the back of Amelda's trenchcoat "Now I'm going to take it back to him!". "The Hell you are!" screamed Amelda as he tried to pull away from Roland "This trenchcoat is mine!". Roland had a pretty tight grip on the trenchcoat though so Amelda couldn't really get away. "Okay I guess he gets into fights with everyone" thought Tea as she looked at the ongoing struggle "It reminds me of someone...but who?". At that moment Seto ran up to them and also grabbed on to the trenchcoat. "Good work Roland but I'll take over from here!" said Seto as he gave Amelda an evil grin "Now it's payback time!". The once again began to fight like crazy and at one point Seto nearly tore the trenchcoat off of Amelda. Amelda knew that he had won the fight and that the coat was his, but he was losing once again and only a miracle could help him.

POW!

An object of some sort suddenly flew out of nowhere and struck Seto in the head. So once again the great Seto Kaiba just toppled over and fell to the ground. Roland just gasped in disbelief and was going to help his boss, when he too was struck in the head. Upon closer inspection Amelda realized that they had both been struck with shoes...platform shoes. "I guess you couldn't win a fight if your life depended on it huh?" said Tea as she walked and retrieved her shoes "It's kinda sad if you think about it". She then put her shoes back on and was about to resume her search for the Pharoah when she saw it...

"You know I really enjoyed shopping for boots with you" said Yami as he and Mai headed down the escalator "We should do it again"

Yami and Mai looked absolutely happy even though they were struggling to carry all of their bags. Tea had never seen Yami smile in a way like that and she could only guess why. It never occured to her that the only reason Yami was so happy was because he had tons of new boots. "Well we can do it anytime you want hon" said Mai as she flipped her hair over her shoulder "You have my number". "So Mai's his bimbo?" growled Tea as she began to grind her teeth from the rage "Well not for long!". Yami and Mai finally arrived at that bottom of the escalator and that's when it happened...

"You bimbo!" screeched Tea as she suddenly lunged at Mai and knocked her down "How dare you try and steal Yami from me?".

Tea then began to punch Mai like crazy, but was thrown backwards by a sudden kick to the chest. "Bimbo?" screamed Mai who had put her new platform stilleto boots to good use "No one calls me a bimbo!". Mai then lunged at Tea and before long both of them were punching, clawing, kicking, screaming, and hissing like a pair of alley cats. Amelda could only stare in disbelief at just how crazy and violent their fight was. Meanwhile Yami had quietly picked up his bags and snuck off to another floor. There was no way he wanted to be around in case Tea won the fight. The fight finally ended after Tea managed to get one of her shoes off and knock Mai unconscious with it. "There!" said Tea as she quickly stood up and dusted her hands "Yami? Yami where are you?". She looked around for a moment before running off in a random direction. Meanwhile Amelda just stood there and brought a gloved hand up to his burning cheek.

"Why am I feeling this way about her?" said Amelda as he stood there watching Tea run up the escalator "Maybe I got a concussion during the fall"

It was not everyday he ran into a girl as crazy and possibly homicidal as Tea. There was just something about her that made him feel strange...although he wasn't quite sure what it was. His train of thought was broken by a sudden scream and some anguished wailing behind him. "WHAT! You like girls?" screamed Tristan who had been planning to try and hit on the beautiful Amelda once again "NO!". Tristan then screamed, pulled his hair, and ran off crying like a little sissy girl. Amelda just shook his head in disgust, stepped over the unconscious Mai,and got back on the escalator.


	18. Cutie Pie

Disclaimer: I do now own Yugioh, any of the characters, or any of the stores so don't sue me:D

Author's Notes: Thanks again to everyone who read and reviewed my story! As a little thank you, I decided to put this chapter up sooner than expected. So I hope you guys like it :).

**Cutie Pie**

"Where is he?" snarled Marik as he went up an escalator trying to get a better view of the mall "Where's the Pharoah?"

After clobbering Ishizu, Marik had spent all of his time searching for the Pharoah. He stopped a few people along the way and asked them but so far no luck. Why? They were all complete idiots. The first guy he stopped was some dopey looking blonde who was stuffing himself with corndogs. The guy was absolutely disgusting since he kept mumbling something with his mouth full. Apparently he was looking for a fruity pie or something like that. The second person he found was some guy hiding behind a trashcan. He looked really freaked out then again how could he not? He was a pink haired guy in a purple suit wearing a ruffled shirt in the middle of a mall. In Marik's book that was a recipe for disaster. The guy just muttered something about being robbed by a "big baboon" and nothing else. The third person Marik stopped was a blonde bimbo wearing a black bustier, purple shorts and a vest, and some black boots. She was pretty badly beaten up though and just kept muttering something about losing her boots. Marik was about to wonder why he had even stopped a blonde bimbo, but then he remembered he was a blonde as well.

When Marik reached the top of the escalator he found another person standing there. It was some tall skinny redhead guy wearing a black trenchcoat, a cutoff lavender tanktop, and two red belts. "Finally!" thought Marik to himself as he walked towards him "Someone who looks and dresses like a normal person!". Amelda seemed pretty distracted but soon he felt someone tap him on the back. He cautiously turned around fearing the return of a certain feline, but to his relief it was just some guy. The guy had had blonde hair, gold jewelry, tons of eyeliner, and a he was wearing a white bellyshirt."Why the Hell is he wearing gold jewelry and eyeliner?" thought Amelda as he looked down at Marik "And people say I dress weird". "Excuse me" said Marik as he pulled a picture out of his pocket "Have you seen this person?". The picture in question was of Yugi eating a big messy looking burger that was dripping sauce on his lap. Apparently Varon wasn't the only one who couldn't eat without dripping something on himself. "Yeah I saw him" said Amelda as he pointed in the direction of the floor below them "He was down there a few minutes ago". "Hahah you can't escape me now Pharoah!" laughed Marik as he quickly ran over to the escalator and began to run down it "I'll find you now for sure!". "Now what was I thinking about?" said Amelda whose train of thought had been interrupted by Marik "Oh well I guess it was nothing important". He then shrugged his shoulders and decided to look for Raphael and Varon.

"Man..where'd dat cutie pie go?" said Joey as he held a corndog in one hand and an ice cream cone in the other "She's gotta be somewhere around here"

After easily defeating Tristan, Joey decided to claim his prize. Unfortunately the cute mysterious brunette girl was nowhere to be found. He decided to search in all of the womens clothes stores. Unfortunately that didn't prove too helpful since he got kicked out of all the stores. It all happened when Joey wasn't able to find his cutie pie in any of the stores. He decided that maybe she was in the dressing rooms. So he snuck into the dressing rooms and decided to check. After getting screamed at, kicked, punched, and tazered, he would get tossed out of the store. The salesgirls at Victoria's Secret were the toughest of all since they all beat him and dressed him in lingerie before throwing him out. Joey swore he'd never set foot in that store again...although he did plan to peek in the windows. After so many beatings, Joey decided that he needed to refuel so he made yet another trip to the foodcourt. On his way back from the foodcourt he was stopped by a group of weirdos. "Huh?" said Joey as a pink haired girl ran up to him "What do ya want?".

"And here we have Varon's biggest admirer" chuckled Dartz as he took out his camcorder and began to film Joey "It's funny how gluttons are always attracted to each other"

If Varon was a disgusting glutton, then Joey beat him by a long shot. His ice cream cone was currently melting and dripping on his shoes while the corndog dripped mustard. "King Dartz wants to have a word with you!" said the pink haired girl as she pulled Joey towards Dartz "Right your highness?". Dartz nodded and gestured for the ravers to put him down. He then walked up towards Joey and continued to film the young man. "Why so sad my child?" said Dartz in a pretty creepy tone of voice "Are you dreading the horrible case of indigestion you'll have in awhile?". "No...it's just dat-" said Joey who was kind of weirded out the fact that this guy referred to him as a child "It's just dat I'm lookin for dis girl". "Ahh is she a lovely young brunette" said Dartz as he tried his hardest not to laugh "Wearing a velour suit perhaps?". "What?" cried Joey as his eyes widened from disbelief at what he was hearing "How'd ya know dat?".

"My child I know everything" chuckled Dartz as walked back to the ravers who immediately picked him up again "I have an answer to everything!". "So do ya know what's in these corndogs?" said Joey as he held up the corndog "I've always wanted ta know". "Sorry but even I don't know that" said Dartz as he looked down at Joey "But I can answer any other question". "Um..ooh I got one!" cried Joey who was thinking as hard as he could "What's dat cutie pie's name?". "Good question" chuckled Dartz as tried his hardest not to laugh "That lovely young woman is named Varon...a". "Varona?" said Joey before sighing dreamily " Dat's a beautiful name for a beautiful girl!". "My and what's this?" said Dartz as he pointed to something in the distance "I think fate is smiling on you right now". Joey quickly looked in the direction Dartz had pointed to and that's when he saw what he was talking about.

"Amelda!" cried Varon as he and Raphael searched for their temporarily insane friend "Amelda where are you?"

So far Raphael and Varon had searched under all the benches and still no luck. They then decided to look in Hot Topic but still no sign of Amelda. They decided to start asking around but no one had seen Amelda. Although several people had seen a girl who matched Amelda's description. They followed all the leads they had gotten and still no sign of him. Now they could only hope that he'd appear on his own or they'd be forced to leave without him. "Where the Hell could he be?" whined Varon who was already pretty tired "He should have turned up by now!". At that moment Varon heard some rapid footsteps behind him which he assumed belonged to Raphael. The moment he turned around though he immediately regretted it. "Hey dere cutie pie!" said Joey as he nearly collided with Varon "Did ya miss me?". "WTF? Don't you get it?" screamed Varon who was already tired of this "I DON'T LIKE YOU!".

"Aww c'mon gimme a chance!" said Joey as he gave Varon a big cheesy grin "Please Varona?". "V-Varona?" sputtered Varon who thought that Joey had figured out the truth "How did you find out Wheeler?". "Dat doesn't matter" said Joey as he suddenly grabbed Varon's hand and kissed it "All dat matters is dat I think you're beautiful and I love ya". Varon immediately pulled his hand away from Joey and began to run as quickly as he could. Varon was freaked out since he believed that not only had Joey found out the truth but he was actually in love with him! This was too much! "Wait come back!" cried Joey as he began to run after Varon "I can't live without ya!". "You're sick Wheeler!" screamed Varon as he continued running like crazy "Stay away from me!".

Varon had almost reached an escalator when he accidently slipped on something and fell on his face. He groaned and looked over and looked over to see what he had slipped on. "A glowstick?" said Varon as he picked up the neon green glowstick "WTF?". "I only threw one glowstick and he actually slipped on it" thought Dartz as he held his camcorder in one hand and several glowsticks in the other "What are the odds?". "Nice throw King Dartz!" said the pink haired girl and the others who were amazed by Dartz's throwing skills "That was cool!". Varon's fall had caused him to lose valuable time and surely enough Joey caught up with him. "Don't worry Varona" said Joey as he quickly pulled Varon off of the floor "I'll love you no matter what!". "SOMEONE HELP ME!" screamed Varon at the top of his lungs "HE'S CRAZY!". "You didn't think you'd get away that easily did you Varon?" laughed Dartz as he filmed the entire thing "Nothing can save you now!".

"This is all Varon's fault" thought Raphael as he went up the escalator "He knows how much Amelda hates that cat".

So far Raphael still had no luck in finding the crazy redhead. He did run into the little blonde and brunette boy though. Apparently they were also still looking for their little redhead friend. Raphael then heard some hysterical girly screams as he approached the top of the escalator. When he reached the top of the stairs he was surprised to find Varon screaming while Joey Wheeler was grabbing his leg. "What the Hell is going on here?" shouted Raphael who couldn't believe that Varon was goofing off yet again "Somebody better explain!". Joey and Varon immediately looked over and saw Raphael standing there looking pissed off.

"Raphael!" shouted Varon happily as he pulled away from Joey and ran next to Raphael "It's all his fault he keeps bothering me!". Raphael then frowned and began to walk over towards Joey whose eyes were nearly popping out of his head. Raphael was twice the size of a normal man and his muscles looked like he'd stuffed bowling balls in the sleeves of his trenchcoat. "So you like bothering people?" said Raphael as he stood in front of Joey and cracked his knuckles "Well I'll just have to teach you a lesson then". "L-Look I dont want any trouble" stuttered Joey nervously as he backed away from Raphael "I-I'll leave!". Joey then turned around and ran off as quickly as he could since he didn't want Raphael to break all of his bones. "That was great!" shouted Varon who was happy that Raphael had saved him "You're the-Ow!". "Save it for later" said Raphael as he grabbed Varon's arm and pulled him in another direction "Right now we have to find Amelda". "Oww!" whined Varon as Raphael dragged him along "You're hurting me!".

"And Raphael helped a damsel in distress" chuckled Dartz who had filmed the entire thing "I guess this makes him Varon's knight in shining armor".

"Hey King Dartz can we ask you a favor?" said the pink haired girl as she looked up "Can we take a break? We're tired". The other ravers nodded since they were getting kind of hungry/thirsty/sober. "You'll take a break when I say you can!" shouted Dartz as he crossed his leg "After all I'm the King of Dance!". "You the King of Dance?" said a voice from somewhere "That's a laugh". "WHAT?" screamed Dartz who couldn't believe someone was questioning his title "WHO SAID THAT?". All of the ravers just looked at each other with a confused look. They all then stared at the pink haired girl but she looked just as confused as they did. Suddenly they all looked down and that's when they saw the person who'd said it.

They were all a bunch of weirdos but nothing could have prepared him for this guy. He had big spiky tri-colored hair, wore a black sleeveless shirt and leather pants, and a choker with a buckle on it. Oddly enough he was still pretty short despite the fact that he was wearing the tallest platform boots any of them had ever seen. "Who the Hell do you think you are?" said the pink haired girl as she put her hands on her hips "No one questions our King!". "Dispose of that midget!" said Dartz as he snapped his fingers "Toss him down an escalator!". "NO!" suddenly screamed Marik as he ran out of nowhere waving the Millenium Rod over his head "If anyone's going to throw him down the escalator then it'll be me!".

"Hmph I still don't see why anyone would think you're a king of dance" said Yami with an amused look on his face "You're over ten thousand years old!". "Don't hate me because you can't be me!" said Dartz with a confident smirk on his face "It's not my fault these weirdos made me their king". "Well only until someone challenges you" said the pink haired girl as she looked up at Dartz "If someone beats you then they'll get your title". "Yes I'm aware of that" yawned Dartz who was bored that she was stating the obvious "But it's not like anyone will beat me anytime soon".The ravers then once again began to move towards Yami in order to toss him down the escalator. They weren't able to get to him though since Marik jumped in front of Yami to keep them away. There was no way he was going to let them throw the Pharoah down the stairs since that's what he wanted to do.

"Stay back you freaks!" shouted Marik as he held out the Millenium Rod "Don't make me use this on you!". The ravers didn't listen to him and were about to kick him out of the way when the Millenium Rod began to glow. Immediately all of the ravers stopped in their tracks and began to slap themselves. "Hey stop that!" shouted Dartz when he realized what Marik was doing "Only I have the right to make my minions hurt themselves!". Marik just laughed though and continued making the ravers slap themselves silly.

"All right I see where this is going" said the violet eyed Pharoah with a confident smirk as he stood behind Marik "I know exactly what I have to do". "And what pray tell is that Pharoah?" said Dartz as he looked down at the Pharoah "Make my hair look as hideous as yours?". "No..." said Yami with a slight chuckle before looking straight up at Dartz "I challenge you to a duel!".

"WHAT?" screamed Marik as he suddenly lost control of the ravers "You challenged him to a duel? No! You're supposed to challenge me!". Marik couldn't believe it. All of his life he had looked forward to the day when he would challenge the Pharoah to a duel or vice versa. But no! The Pharoah decides to challenge some creepy blue haired guy with a yellow eye and a blue eye to a duel! It wasn't fair! Marik was about to open his mouth to protest some more but Yami said something that calmed him down.

"I challenge you to a duel Dartz" said Yami as he narrowed his eyes slightly "A dance duel!"

"Very well" said Dartz as he jumped down off the shoulders of the ravers "I accept your challenge!"

"Good" said Yami as he suddenly raised his right arm and struck a pose "Now lets d-d-dance!"


	19. Dancing King Pt 1

Disclaimer: I do not own Yugioh, any of the characters, any of the stores(except the ones I made up), or the BeeGees so don't sue me:D

Author's Notes: Thanks to everyone who reviewed the last chapter! Anyways this is yet another chapter done in two parts. Sorry that it's kind sucky but hopefully the second part to it will be better. I'll try to get the second part up as soon as possible.

**Dancing King Pt.1**

"Where the Hell did they go?" muttered Amelda as he sat on a bench after looking all over the mall and not finding his friends "They'd better not have ditched me!"

So far Amelda had been to Brookstone, Aahs, The Home Shopping Network Store, and every other store that sold worthless junk. The salespeople had seen Raphael but that had been hours before. Amelda then headed off to the foodcourt in search of Varon. The only thing he found was Joey Wheeler pouting and stuffing himself with pretzels. After awhile he just gave up, sat on a bench, and tried to think of other places they might be.

"Hmm maybe they're both together" said Amelda as he sat there just thinking "But what store would-WHAT THE HELL?". At that moment a very dazed(thanks to a concusion) looking Mai staggered over and collapsed right on his lap. If there was another thing Amelda REALLY hated(besides Kaiba and Strawberry Kitty) then it would have to be Mai. She was loud, arrogant and she also had the nerve to try and copy his sense of fashion.

It definitely wasn't Amelda's day at all, but at least it couldn't get any worse could it? "Hey..." slurred Mai as she suddenly looked up at Amelda with a dazed "You're really cute...". Before Amelda knew what was happening, Mai got up and began to hug him. Of all the things that had happened to him that that day, this had to be the most horrible of all.

"Are you going to come out by yourself?" asked the blonde haired boy as he peered under a bench "Or are you gonna stay there and cry like a sissy?"

After searching every inch of the mall, the little two little boys finally came to a bench. They noticed a pair of grey eyes peering out at them so they realized who it was. "Ha ha!" taunted the little brunette haired boy "You're even older than me and you're a sissy!". The redhead refused to come out, so the blonde boy reached under the bench and tried to pull him out. "I don't wanna go!" screamed the redhead as he grabbed onto the bench "You can't make me!".

"Where's Yami?" whined Tea as she walked by the boys at that moment "I have to find him!". She then noticed a map of the mall so she bent down and began to study it. The moment she bent down though the back of her skirt flipped up and revealed her panties. As soon as this happened, the young redhead finally decided to let go. "I-I-I.." stammered the young redhead as he just stared at Tea's panties "I can see her panties!". "I wonder if she knows?" said the young blonde who also just stood there and stared at her "Do you think I should tell her?". "No!" shouted the young redhead as he continued to stare at her "Don't tell her!".

"Aha!" exclaimed Tea as she quickly straighened up and her skirt went back down "Yami must be on the top floor!". There was no way she was going to risk having some bimbo try and steal Yami away. She quickly looked around and headed up the nearest escalator which would take her to the top floor. The young redhead stood there looking dazed for a moment before suddenly running after her. After all if he stood behind her on the escalator then he'd be able to see her panties again. Meanwhile the young brunette(who thought girls had cooties) just stared at his friend in disgust. "Why does he want to see her panties?" shouted the little boy as he looked up at the blonde boy "That's yucky!". "You'll get it when you're older" said the blonde boy as he grabbed the younger boy and dragged him off "Now we gotta follow him!".

"GET AWAY FROM ME!" screamed Amelda as he tried his hardest to pull Mai off of himself "I DON'T EVEN LIKE YOU!"

"Aww aren't you cute?" slurred Mai as she suddenly grabbed his head and pressed it against her chest "I love men who play hard to get.." Poor Amelda's cries, screams, and cursing went completely unheard since his face was now buried in Mai's ample cleavage. After much struggling he was finally able to pull away from her and he ran as fast he could. Unfortunately this was a bad idea since Mai decided to chase after him. "Oh no..you're not going anywhere" slurred Mai as she tackled him and knocked him down "You're coming home with me...". There was nothing that could make this situation any worse...

"WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?" screeched Varon at the top of his lungs when he and Raphael saw what was happening "GET YOUR HANDS OFF OF MAI!"

Raphael and Varon had seen Amelda sitting on the bench from one of the lower levels, so they went to get him. When they got there though they were shocked by what they saw. Poor Amelda lay flat on his back with Mai clinging to him like a crazy fangirl(or fanboy). Mai then looked over for a second and noticed girly Varon standing there. Suddenly she remembered all about all the lovely boots she was able to buy courtesy of him/her. "Well...it's been fun..." slurred Mai as she pulled herself off of Amelda "But now I gotta find my boots..". Mai then stood up and staggered off once again in search of her lost boots. "Finally" sighed Amelda with relief as he quickly pulled himself off of the ground "That was the wor-"

**POW!**

Before Amelda knew it, he was flat on his back once again. "WHAT WERE YOU DOING WITH MAI?" screamed Varon as he jumped on Amelda with a look of insanity in his eyes "SHE'S MINE!". Varon was so enraged that he began punching him like crazy. Unfortunately Amelda quickly rolled over, grabbed him, and put him in a choke hold. "I wasn't doing anything!" growled Amelda as he held onto the temporarily insane Varon "That crazy slut came on to me!". "Liar!" cried Varon as he gagged and struggled to breathe " Why would Mai, or any other woman, want a girly man like you?".

Raphael wasn't really too interested in the fight so he looked away for a moment. Suddenly he began to hear loud dance music and see flashing lights coming from the very top level. "I wonder what's going on up there?" thought Raphael as he stared up at the top level "Is it a party or something?". There was only one way to find out... but first he had something very important to do.

"You're a Princess!" screamed Varon after finally getting away from Amelda "All you need is a diamond tiara!". "And you're a moron!" screamed Amelda as he looked at Varon "Luckily you don't need anything at all!". "Why you!" screeched Varon as he suddenly lunged at Amelda "I'm not a-WHAT'S GOING ON?". Before they knew what had happened, Varon and Amelda felt themselves being pulled off of the ground.

"There's something happening on the top floor" said Raphael in a very calm voice as he stood there effortlessly holding Varon in one hand and Amelda in the other "And I'd like to see what it is". Neither one protested as Raphael headed up to the escalator(still holding them) in order to find out what was going on. When they reached the top of the escalator there was a huge crowd of people surrounding something. Raphael was easily able to push through the crowd and he made it all the way to the front."WHAT THE-?" screamed the three Doom warriors since nothing could have prepared them for what they were seeing "MASTER DARTZ?".

"Ha I'd like to see you try and top this Pharoah!" shouted Dartz as he jumped onto this head and began to spin around "No one can outdo the best!"

"Oh please!" scoffed Yami as he also jumped onto his his head and began to spin around even faster "Anything you can do I can do better!"

Dartz and Yami were currently breakdancing to loud techno music while all of the ravers and onlookers cheered like crazy. "Don't listen to him King Dartz!" shouted the pink haired girl as she waved her glowsticks in support "You can beat him!". All of the other ravers grinned and nodded their heads as they also waved their glowsticks. After all now that Dartz was currently distracted, they had sent someone to get food and "refreshments". Now they were all happy, full, and best of all they were no longer sober. Raphael finally put his two friends down and they all just stood there and stared. They were in disbelief at the way Dartz was dancing since they didn't think he could. He was over ten thousand years old for one thing so it was a miracle that he could move at all.

"You'd better win this Pharoah!" shouted Marik who was comfortably seated on some ravers while holding a corndog and a cup of lemonade "And then I'll push you down an escalator to celebrate!".

Thanks to the Millenium Rod, Marik was using one raver as a chair and another as a footstool. He also made another one fetch him a snack for the show. "Hmm I don't feel like holding this lemonade anymore" said Marik as he looked at the cup in his hand "I need somewhere to put it". Meanwhile Siegfried was quickly trying to crawl away since he saw Raphael arrive. He had just come from an ATM machine and there was no way he was going to let himself be robbed again.

"I need this money to buy skincare products" thought Siegfried as he passed close to where Marik was "How else am I supposed to stay this gorgeous?". "Hmm" said Marik when he noticed Siegfried crawling by him "I guess he'll do". He pointed the Millenium Rod at him and within seconds Siegfried stopped dead in his tracks. He then crawled over and stopped right beside Marik. "Ahh.." said Marik as he put his lemonade on top of Siegfried's head "Now this is more like it!".

"I wish I had that thing" thought Raphael who had seen what Marik had just done "Then maybe I can get these two to stop fighting all the-Huh?".

Raphael felt someone tap him on the arm so he looked down and found Serenity standing there. Meanwhile Bakura, Mako, and Duke were hiding behind her. After all if Raphael wanted to get to them he'd have to go through Serenity first. "What do you want?" said Raphael as he looked down at Serenity and the cowardly trio "I already told you I'm not going to dance anymore". "Actually we just wanted to tell you that you're a really great dancer" said Serenity as she smiled as sweetly as she could "In fact you're a better dancer than both of these guys!".

Bakura and Mako nodded their heads in agreement, while Duke just pouted. "I'm a better dancer" muttered Duke under his breath "I can dance better than anybody". "She's right" said Bakura as he peered out from behind Serenity "Perhaps you should join this contest?". "Yeah right" said Raphael as he looked at them as if though they were crazy "I'd never join something as foolish as this". "But you were dancing pretty good" said Varon as he looked up at Raphael "So why not? I bet you'd win!"

"Raphael won't enter if knows what's good for him" interrupted Dartz as he passed by his three minions while doing the funky chicken "After all I'm sure he wishes to live long enough to see his next birthday"

"They're just joking Master Dartz" lied Raphael since he knew what Dartz was capable of if he were to upstage him "I'm don't even know how to dance"

"Good" said Dartz as he quickly spun around began to moonwalk as expertly as he could "I guess won't have to tamper with the brakes on your motorcycle after all"

"You're moonwalking now?" scoffed Yami as he stopped dancing for a moment and looked over at Dartz "What don't you just forfeit while you're at it?"

"I'm just getting warmed up!" said Dartz as he quickly spun around and began to do the hokey pokey "What I'm about to do next will shock and amaze you!"

"What you're going to get your cane out?" said Yami as he began to shake his hips like crazy as he did the lambada "I wouldn't blame you...after all you might fall and break a hip"

As soon as Yami said this, the music stopped, the glowsticks burned out, and a cold breeze blew in out of nowhere. Everyone began to murmur but they all quickly went silent when the saw the look on Dartz's face. He was mad...very VERY mad.

"What did you say?" said Dartz as one of his eyes began to twitch violently and he trembled from the rage "WHAT IN LEVIATHAN'S NAME DID YOU SAY?"

"What are you losing your hearing now?" said Yami as he smirked at Dartz and put his hands on his hips "I guess you need a hearing aid as well"

"He's dead..." thought Raphael, Amelda, and Varon as they glanced over at the Pharoah "Nobody calls Master Dartz old and lives"

It was true that Dartz was over ten thousand years old but that didn't mean he was helpless. After all how many ten thousand year olds could run their own company, torture their minions, plot to take over the world, AND dance? Besides who did the Pharoah think he was calling him old? The Pharoah himself was about five thousand years old. Just because he shared a body with a sixteen year old didn't change this. Meanwhile Yami was just standing there looking straight at Dartz with a bored expression on his face.

"Well?" said Yami as he crossed his arms and ignored the stares of the onlookers "Are you going to do anything or do you forfeit?".

Oh...how Dartz was going to enjoy making Yami pay for all of this.

"Prepare to be humiliated Pharoah.." hissed Dartz as he continued fuming from what Yami had just said "Meet my ultimate weapon!"

Dartz suddenly snapped his fingers and at that moment a giant disco ball appeared overhead. It then began to spin very rapidly and it shone so brightly that everyone was momentarily blinded. When everyone was able to open their eyes again, they were in for a surprise. Dartz had used his powers to transform the floor into a giant light up dance floor. Also Dartz was now clad in a turquoise polyester suit, a long purple fur coat, and lime green platforms. To top it all off he was also wearing a hideous furry purple hat with a big turquoise feather on it. He looked like some kind of pimp gone wrong...

"When it comes to disco dancing I'm the best!" said Dartz as he took off his furcoat and tossed it aside "So prepare to lose Pharoah!"

"Oh really?" said Yami as he suddenly reached down and clutched the Millenium Puzzle "Well two can play at this game"

The Millenium Puzzle began to glow very brightly and within seconds Yami's appearance had changed. All of the onlookers just oohed and ahhed when they saw his new outfit. His usual solid black clothes had now been transformed into a solid white polyester suit. His platform boots had also been transformed into the tallest platform shoes that anyone had ever seen. Meanwhile Dartz was beyond pissed since Yami kept trying to upstage him. Dartz snapped his fingers again and the song "Tragedy" by the BeeGees began to play. They then walked over, stood in the middle of the dance floor, and just faced each other one last time.

"You won't beat me Pharoah!" shrieked Dartz as he looked down at Yami with anger in his eyes "I'll beat you if it's the last thing I do!"

"And considering how old you are it just may be" said Yami as he quickly spun around and began to dance "Now lets boogie!"

To Be Continued


	20. Dancing King Pt 2

Disclaimer: I do not own Yugioh, any of the songs(they're all by the BeeGees), or any of the characters so don't sue me:D

Author's Notes: Thanks to everyone who reviewed the last chapter! I'm glad you're liking it and I hope you like the person who takes the lead in this chapter:) Oh and I'm not sure if there is a dance called the "Sexy" hustle. Although the other ones really do exist.

**Dancing King Pt. 2**

"My head..."groaned Seto as he woke up and realized that the side of his head was throbbing for some reason "Why is it hurting so much?"

Seto slowly sat up and began to look around since he wasn't sure where he was. He noticed that Roland was lying nearby and he was out like a light. Knowing Roland he'd probably knocked himself out as well in a pathetic attempt to kiss up. Suddenly Seto remembered all about the beautiful black trenchcoat he wanted. It wasn't fair that some girly guy in a slutty lavender midriff shirt had beaten him to it! After all that trenchcoat was the hottest, sexiest, and most stylish thing that Seto had ever seen. "_That trenchcoat will be mine!" _thought Seto as he rubbed his throbbing head for a moment "_I don't care what I have to do to get it!"_

Unfortunately Seto's head was hurting so much that he couldn't even stand up. He wasn't going to let this stop him though since he was Seto Kaiba after all. He immediately crawled over to the escalator, got on, and was on his way to the top floor. Too bad he failed to notice that part of his trenchcoat had gotten caught on one side of the escalator. "That trenchcoat is out there somewhere!" said Seto as he finally approached the top of the escalator "I'm going to get it if it's the-"

**RIP!**

"AHHHHHHHH!" screamed Seto when he looked down and realized the escalator had ripped his trenchcoat off " NOT MY FAVORITE TRENCHCOAT!". Even though Seto owned many trenchcoats, his white was one was his favorite. Why? Because it had taken him alot of work(and lots of starch) to get it to flare up the way it did. Now he would have to get another one and spend more time(and starch) to get it just the way he liked. He was about to have a fit when he heard something: disco music. He then noticed a huge crowd of people, flashing lights, and...a disco ball?. There were tons of weirdos in the crowd which included a pink haired guy, a guy dressed as a pirate, this blonde guy with a bellyshirt, and some black haired guy with eyeliner on. "I know that crossdresser is in there!" said Seto as he began to crawl towards the crowd very quickly "This looks like his kind of crowd!".

"JUST TRY AND TOP THIS PHAROAH!" shouted Dartz as he spun around on his platforms like some kind of demented ballerina "I'm the king of disco!"

"Good...but not good enough!" shouted Yami as he slid across the dancefloor, spun around, and did the splits "I'd like to see you try that!"

"You insult me Pharoah!" shouted Dartz as he not only slid across the floor, spun around(on his head), did the splits, and spun around on his head again "Anything you can do I can do better!"

So far Dartz and Yami had danced to the songs "Tragedy", "Stayin Alive", and "Shadow Dancing". Even though they were disco dancing, their styles were totally different. Dartz had crazy clothes, crazy moves, and the way he spun on his head was pretty impressive. Yami on the other hand had sleek clothes, sexy dance moves, and the way he handled those platforms were impressive. They were both such great dancers that people couldn't decide who they wanted to cheer for. This wasn't the case for Raphael, Amelda, and Varon.

"Go Master Dartz!" shouted Raphael and Amelda since they were at the very front of the crowd where Dartz could see them "Shake your groove thing!".

Everytime Dartz looked over at them, Raphael and Amelda would cheer for him. After all they didn't want to have something sick, twisted, and horrible to happen to them if they didn't. Varon on the other hand could care less since thanks to Dartz he was having the worst day ever. "I never thought Dartz would last this long" muttered Varon as he stood close to Raphael in case Joey showed up "I thought he'd have gotten tired by now". "Especially with all the martinis he drinks" added Amelda since Dartz was now out of hearing range "You'd think he'd have passed out from the start".

"I wonder what all of these people are trying to watch?" said Tea who was down on her knees crawling towards the front of the crowd "I bet it's something good!".

Tea was still on her insane search for Yami, when she spotted the crowd. There were alot of people so maybe Yami was somewhere in there. So she quickly got on all fours and began to crawl between people's legs. What Tea didn't know what that her little redhead admirer/mini pervert was crawling after her with a disposable camera in his hands. After all now that she was crawling on all fours, her panties were showing.

"This is great!" thought the young redhead as he snapped pictures every chance he got "I can't believe she doesn't even know!". Finally Tea reached the front of the crowd and found herself next to that weird redhead again. Why the heck did she keep running into this loser? Suddenly she looked out onto the dancefloor and realized that she had just found Yami. Yami was not only there but he was dressed in a sexy white polyester suit and he was dancing up a storm!

"Now excuse me!" shouted Dartz as he slid across the dancefloor on his and began to sidestep and kick up one of his legs "While I hustle!"

"Which version of the Hustle? New York? Latin? Tango?" asked Yami as he gracefully slid across the floor and began to shake his hips in a very sexy way "Because I'm going to do the Sexy Hustle!"

"AHHHHH!" screamed Tea, all of the raver girls, and just about every other female(except Varon..a) as they saw Yami move "HE'S SO SEXY!". This was too much for Tea though and she ended up fainting from happiness. When she fainted though her skirt flew up and revealed her panties. No one could be happier than Amelda was at that moment. Well except for one other person...

"Yes!" shouted the young redhead as he ran over to Tea and began to snap pictures "These pictures are gonna be-HEY!". At that moment Amelda reached over, snatched up the camera, and gave him a disapproving look. "So you were taking pictures of a woman's panties while she's was unconscious?" asked Amelda as he folded his arms as he looked down at the boy "That's a filthy thing to do!". "I promise I won't do it again!" cried the young redhead as he looked up at the older redhead "Can I have my camera back now?". "No! I'm personally going to dispose of this...filth!" said Amelda as he put the camera into his pocket "Now go back with your friends!".

The poor boy simply lowered his head in shame and began to walk off. Not only had he disappointed his newfound idol but he had lost his camera as well. Well at least he'd always have the memories. As soon as the young redhead was out of sight, Amelda pulled the camera out of his pocket and grinned. Not only had he gotten to see Tea's panties in person, but now he had the pictures as well. _"Hey there's still half a roll of film left!"_ thought Amelda to himself when he looked at the down at the camera _"Maybe I should put it to good use"._

"Do you hear that Dartz?" said Yami with a confident smirk and he gracefully kicked up one of his legs as he did the "sexy" hustle "I think this contest is over"

"_No he can't beat me_!" thought Dartz when he realized how all of the women in the crowd had just reacted to Yami "_I have to do something and quick!_"

Dartz hadn't counted on Yami turning on the charm to impress the ladies. Now they were all happily cheering for him and crying out in joy as he danced his heart out. It seemed like the contest was over, but Dartz still had a trick up his sleeve.There was a way to beat Yami, but it required a dance partner. But where was he supposed to find a girl who could actually dance on such short notice? He then began to scan the crowd in search of a potential partner. Unfortunately the only girl who might have made a good partner was currently unconscious and being photographed by Amelda._"Note to self" _thought Dartz as he continued scanning the crowd in search of a partner _"Steal that camera when he's not looking". _

"Hey what's goin on over here?" said Joey as he was leaving the food court and noticed a huge crowd of people "Are dey giving out free samples or something?".

Joey was never one to miss out on the chance of free food so he decided to get in there. He pushed, shoved, and squeezed his way through the crowd in order to get to the front. Once he was though he was disappointed because there were no free samples. In fact the only thing there was Yami and that weird guy that called him "child". He was about to leave when he noticed the beautiful Varona standing on the other side. "Why she's with dat big scary guy?" whined Joey when he noticed who "Varona" was hanging out with "What's he got dat I don't besides a steroid addiction?".

"_Wait that's it!_" thought Dartz when his eyes come upon somebody in the crowd "_That's who I need to dance with in order to win!_".

Dartz knew that despite this person's lack of intelligence, they were an incredible dancer. Normally he would never dance with them, but this was the one time he'd make an exception. He wanted to win and he didn't care what it took. Besides it would provide more hilarious footage for his beloved camcorder which was currently hanging from the disco ball.

"Why's Dartz heading this way?" said Varon as he saw his boss walking towards him and the others "Is it because I didn't cheer for him?".

"It's either that" said Raphael who was hoping that Dartz would win or else he'd take it out on them "Or he heard what you said about him earlier". Suddenly Dartz reached out, grabbed Varon by the arm, and pulled him out onto the dancefloor. He quickly snapped his fingers and the moment he did lots of guys began to whistle like crazy. "Yeah!" shouted Duke Devlin who had been pretty bored up til now "Now that's foxy!". "She's as lovely as the sea!" said Mako as he looked at Varon "Isn't she?". "She certainly is quite pretty" said Bakura very shyly since he wasn't used to saying this "I wonder who she is?". "That's what I want to know!" shouted Tristan as he popped out of nowhere and glanced over at Amelda "It's time for me to recover from heartbreak... ".

"WHAT IS THIS?" screamed Varon at the top of his lungs when he looked down and realized what Dartz had done "YOU SICK PERVERT!". It was bad enough that Dartz had turned him into a woman but now he had transformed his clothes as well. He was now wearing a super short and super slutty looking gold dress and high heels. This had gone TOO far! Dartz merely chuckled and pulled Varon all the way out to the very middle of the dancefloor. "Unless you wish for something unpleasant to happen to you" said Dartz as he pulled Varon out onto the very middle of the dancefloor "Then I suggest you shut up and do the hustle with me!". "As if turning me into a girl wasn't bad enough!" snapped Varon who didn't really want to be forced to dance with another man that day "What if I refuse? What are you going to do then?".

"DAT DRESS MAKES YOU LOOK HOT!" shouted Joey from somewhere in the middle of the crowd the moment he saw Varon "Please go out with me!". If Joey liked Varona before, now he was in love with her. She was far sexier than he ever could have imagined and he'd have her if it was the last thing he did. Then again if he ever came close to Raphael again, it probably would be.

"If you refuse not only will I leave you as a female" said Dartz with an evil smile as he pulled Varon closer to him "But I'll give Mr. Wheeler your cellphone number, e-mail address, and anything else he requests"."AHHHH!" screamed Varon at the thought and horror of having Joey stalking him for the rest of his life "Lets hustle!". Dartz then snapped his fingers and the song changed to one called "More Than A Woman". He thought it was appropriate considering who his dance partner really was.

As soon as Dartz and Varon began to dance, all eyes were suddenly on them. The way they danced was so incredible that suddenly nobody cared about Yami. Then again Yami didn't have a sexy young woman as a dance partner. "That's not fair!" shouted Yami since Dartz was cheating by dancing with this girl "You can't have a dance partner!".

"Actually...he can..." slurred the pink haired girl who was still pretty high and mesmerized by all the lights "There's no rule against it..". "He can?" said Yami as he blinked his eyes in disbelief at what he was hearing "Why wasn't I informed from the start?". "Dammit Pharoah don't just stand there!" snarled Marik as he jumped up from the raver he had been sitting on "Find a way to beat that blue haired freak so this contest can end already and then I can finally push you down the escalator!"

"You're right! I have to get a dance partner too!" said Yami who was not going to let an old fart like Dartz publicly humiliate him "But who should I choose?"

To Be Continued...


	21. Royal Flush

Disclaimer: I do not own Yugioh, any of the characters, Spongebob Squarepants, Luke Skywalker or the song "Harajuku Girls"(property of Gwen Stefani) so don't sue me:D

Author's Notes: Thanks to everyone who reviewed the last chapter!

**Royal Flush**

"Marik!" shouted Ishizu as she wandered around on the ground level of the mall "Marik Ishtar if you don't come out here this minute you'll be sorry!"

Ishizu was determined to find Marik and get him to buy at least one decent shirt. She was sick and tired of looking at his endless collection of bellyshirts, robes, and a few other strange items. The only thing he owned that looked semi decent was a black shirt and some khaki pants. Unfortunately when he put them on he began to act all funny. His hair would stand straight up, his voice would get weird, and he'd start sticking his tongue out alot. Ishizu had no choice but to hide that shirt and those pants. Unfortunately that meant that he'd need more clothes which is why she took him to the mall.

"Hmm the mall is pretty empty right now" said Ishizu as she looked around and realized that she was all alone "I just hope Marik doesn't have anything to do with this"

At that moment Ishizu's Millenium Necklace began to glow and she began to see strange visions. The first vision included Yami dressed in a leisure suit whilr disco dancing along with some strange blue haired man. The second vision included Seto Kaiba crawling around on all fours with Mokuba riding on his back. The third vision showed Siegfried kneeling on the ground with a cup of lemonade on his head. The next vision showed a hand reaching out to grab the lemonade that was on top of his head. "That's Marik's hand!" cried Ishizu as the visions came to a sudden stop "I'd recognize that Spongebob Squarepants watch of his anywhere!". With that Ishizu quickly looked around and continued her search for Marik.

"Who would have thought you'd be my ticket to victory?" laughed Dartz as he spun Varon around on the dancefloor and did several highkicks along the way "Now kick those legs up higher!"

"_What did I do to deserve this?" _thought Varon as he began to kick his legs up higher "_Was it the time I time I put an "I Love Men" sticker on Amelda's motorcycle?". _Dartz was absolutely thrilled because the moment he began to dance with Varon, the crowd went wild. He could only assume that they were cheering because he was such a skilled dancer. What Dartz didn't realize was that the only reason they cheering was because Varon's dress was so short that his panties were showing. "Yeah!" shouted Bandit Keith who couldn't take his eyes off of Varon's butt "It's like two cupcakes with extra icing!". "No way!" shouted Duke who was completely mesmerized by Varon "It's like two marshmallows!". "Wrong!" shouted Mako whose eyes were glued to Varon"It's like two pearls inside of an oyster!". "Arr!" said the pirate salesman who was standing somewhere in the crowd "Tis true matey!".

**SLAP!**

"Eww you guys are so gross!" said Serenity with a disgusted on her face after she slapped all of them for being perverts "You should learn to be gentlemen like just like Bakura!".

_"Oh my..." _thought Bakura as he stared at Varon and felt as if though someone had just turned up the temperature _"I feel so strange...". _Bakura was so busy staring at Varon that he failed to notice that the Millenium Ring was glowing through his shirt. Within seconds sweet innocent Bakura was gone and in his place was dirty perverted Yami Bakura.

"I sense the Millenium Rod, The Millenium Puzzle, and The Millenium Necklace!" exclaimed Yami Bakura as he quickly scanned the crowd all around him "Wait! I think I-SWEET RA!".

Usually when Yami Bakura was in control, his only concern was finding the Millenium Items. One glance at "Varona" changed all of that though. Yami Bakura just stood there for a few seconds drooling over her when he noticed that her underwear were showing. "Mangos!" shouted the lusty tombrobber as he wiped the drool away from his mouth "It's like two sweet juicy mangos!" Before he realized what he was doing,Yami Bakura was running across the dance floor."I must have you woman!" shouted Yami Bakura as he approached Dartz and Varon "You and your mangos are going to be mi-"

**POW!**

"YOU KEEP YER HANDS OFFA HER!" shouted Joey after he tackled Yami Bakura and they both went crashing to the floor "Dat's my future wife!".

"Do you think I care?" screamed Yami Bakura as he tried to push the crazed young man off of him "NOW LET GO OF ME YOU FO-". Yami Bakura wasn't able to finish his sentence because Joey punched him right in the face. The tombrobber thought quickly and did the logical thing: He let his hikari take over. "Huh?" said Bakura as he looked up and had no clue why he was lying flat on his back "Joey? What are you doing?".

"Teaching ya a lesson dat's what!" shouted Joey as he punched Bakura in the face "Take dat!". "But I haven't done anything!" cried Bakura who didn't know what his yami had attempted to do "I'm innocen-". Joey didn't care what he had to say so he just kept punching him. Meanwhile Bandit Keith, Tristan, the pirate salesman, Duke and Mako all looked over at Serenity.

"Okay... so I was wrong" said Serenity as she winched at the beating her older brother was giving Bakura "He's a dirty pervert just like you guys!"

"Why couldn't you pick Amelda to do this?" whined Varon who was sick and tired of being gawked at by all the men "I may be a girl right now but he's still even girlier looking than me!".

So far Varon had been whistled at and gotten more catcalls than ever. Worst of all Joey had once again gotten into another fight over him. This was the most humiliating day of his life and he just wanted it to end. The one thing he didn't understand was what he had done to earn such a horrible punishment. Then again Dartz might be punishing him for no good reason. After all every single morning Dartz would set Raphael's boot on fire and set Amelda's alarm clock back an hour. For some sick demented reason it gave him great pleasure. Maybe he just needed a new hobby...oh wait torturing his minions was his hobby.

"He may be feminine but he's the worst dancer I've ever seen" said Dartz as he dipped Varon for a moment "Only a fool would pick him as a dance partner".

Suddenly Dartz's mismatched eyes opened wide and he let go of Varon who ended up falling flat on his back. _"Why didn't I think of it before?" _thought Dartz gleefully as he looked over at where Yami was standing _"After this there's no way he'll ever win!". _Luckily Yami was still trying to find a partner so Dartz realized that there was still time for his plan to work. "_It's a good thing Amelda already looks like a woman" _thought Dartz as he looked straight at Amelda and snapped his fingers _"It makes my life alot easier". _ Within seconds Amelda's transformation was complete...just in time for Yami to see him.

"_Hmm there's so many lovely girls in this crowd" _ thought Yami as he scanned the crowd in search of a dance partner _"But who should I pick to dance with-YOU!"_

"Are you talking to me?" asked Amelda when he noticed Yami staring at him "Listen I hate to break it to you but-AHH! WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO MY CLOTHES?". Amelda nearly had a heart attack when he saw what Dartz had transformed his clothes into. Now he was dressed in a red sequined minidress along with matching high heels. "Yes I was talking to you and I want you to dance with me" said Yami as he suddenly grabbed Amelda's hand and threw him out onto the dancefloor "Now less chatting and more dancing!". _"What did I do to deserve this?" _thought Amelda as he stumbled and fell flat on his face _"Well at least I'm still a man...I think". _

"Oh...what happened?" said Tea as she suddenly regained consciousness at that moment and struggled to sit up "What happened to Yami?"

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

When Tea looked out onto the dance floor she was completely horrified by what she was seeing. Her beloved sexy Yami was still out there dancing BUT he was dancing with that weirdo! To make matters worse the weirdo was now in drag and he was a terrible dancer. He kept stumbling in his high heels and he couldn't keep up with Yami at all.

"Come on get up!" shouted Yami who was getting frustrated since Amelda had fallen down yet again "I have to win this contest!". "Shut up!" snapped Amelda who was pretty pissed off to be there in the first place "It's not like I've ever worn high heels before!".

"How could Yami have done this?" said Tea as her eyes began to burn with rage "How could he dance with somebody that's not me!". She didn't really care that Yami was dancing with another man, she was just mad that he hadn't picked her. So the only thing Tea could do now was sit back and wait for the dance to end. After that she'd teach Amelda a lesson he'd never forget. "He'll pay!" growled Tea as she clenched her fists "Just wait til I get my hands on him!".

"Dammit!" grumbled Seto who was currently crawling around on all fours since he was much too dizzy to walk "Why are there were so many weirdos in this mall?"

At first Seto thought that finding Amelda in the crowd of onlookers would be easy. After all how many girly looking crossdressers could there be? He quickly began to crawl through the crowd but things didn't quite go as expected. So far he had been slapped several times on the butt(courtesy of fangirls), been kicked in the butt(courtesy of Joey), and poked with corndog sticks(courtesy of the three little boys). Despite all of this, Seto was determined to keep searching. _"There's nothing that'll make me stop this search!" _thought Seto as he ignored the throbbing pain in his backside and continued crawling "_Nothing at all!". _

"Come on!" suddenly cried Mokuba's voice somewhere from behind Seto "Can't you go any faster?"

Seto quickly turned around and when he did he was surprised to find Mokuba sitting on his back. "MOKUBA!" shouted Seto who couldn't believe what Mokuba was doing "What are you doing?". "What does it look like?" said Mokuba as he crossed his arms as he looked down at his older brother "I'm getting a piggyback ride". "What?" exclaimed Seto since he hadn't even felt Mokuba get on his back "How long have you been up there?". "I dunno...half an hour I guess" said Mokuba before suddenly kicking Seto in sides as if though he were a horse "Now come on move faster!". "Fine..."muttered Seto as he began to crawl faster than before "But as long as you're up there keep an eye out for a redhead crossdresser!". "Okay Seto" lied Mokuba who was more interested in enjoying the free ride "I'll tell you if I see him". After all how often was he able to con Seto into giving him a piggyback ride?

"Yes!" exclaimed Dartz as he spun Varon around while keeping an eye on Yami and Amelda "Everything is going according to plan!"

At first the crowd also went wild when Yami pulled Amelda onto the dancefloor. After all Amelda's good looks and sexy body made up for his horrible dancing. The perverts were especially happy and anxiously awaited a glimpse of Amelda's panties. Unfortunately the only thing they got a glimpse of was of his boxers and suddenly everything clicked. "AHH!" screamed Tristan with a horrified look on his face at what he had just seen "THAT'S A GUY!". "WHAT?" screamed several of the other guys in disbelief before paying closer attention and confirming it "AHHHHHHHHH!". "Of course that's a guy!" said Marik who had just started eating a new corndog "Isn't it obvious?". The word that Amelda was really a guy spread like wildfire and before long everyone knew. Everyone except Yami that is...

"What's going on?" shouted Yami who realized that people were starting to boo him for some reason "Why are they booing?"

"How the Hell should I know?" said Amelda who was extremely cranky since his feet were killing him "Damn these shoes hurt!"

"What are you complaining about?" said Varon when he overheard what Amelda had just said "You've spent half of the time on the floor!"

Apparently the guys weren't the only ones freaked out by the fact that Amelda turned out to be a guy. The girls couldn't believe that Yami had chosen a guy in drag over one of them. Especially since Amelda had to be the worst dancer in the world. "Ahhh!" screamed all of the girls who had been cheering for Yami before "We love you now King Dartz!". "We love you too King Dartz!" shouted all of the ravers whose buzz was beginning to wind down a bit "We'll love you even more if you take us to Happy Hour!".

"You know what?" said the pink haired girl as she looked around and noticed everything that was going on "I think this contest is over!"

"WHAT?" exclaimed Yami as his eyes got really big with a look of utter horror in them "No! It can't be over!"

"Now it ends Pharoah!" laughed Dartz since his plan had worked far better than he could have hoped for "And I'm going to win!"

The moment of truth had finally arrived so Dartz quickly snapped his fingers and stopped the music. After all he wanted everyone to hear the moment that he was declared as the winner of the dance duel. The pink haired girl quickly pulled a microphone out of one of her pockets and immediately began to speak.

"And now ladies and gentlemen!" said the pink haired girl as she turned to look at everyone in the crowd "The winner and undisputed king of dance is-"

"HARAJUKU GIRLS YOU GOT THE WICKED STYLE!" sang Pegasus at the top of his lungs as he suddenly showed up dancing and listening to his walkman "I LIKE THE WAY THAT YOU ARE! I AM YOUR BIGGEST FAN!"

Pegasus was so into his cd that he was completely oblivious to what was going on. The only thing that mattered to him at that moment was singing and dancing along to his new cd. "Hey check out that guy!" shouted Marik despite having half a corndog stuffed into his mouth "What a freak!". The way Pegasus was dancing had to be absolutely the weirdest thing that anybody had ever seen. It looked like a cross between bellydancing, the funky chicken,the macarena, and the robot.

"What is this?" said Raphael as he looked as Pegasus shook as if though he was having a seizure "Even I dance better than that"

"That's what I've been saying all this time!" cried Serenity with an annoyed tone of voice as she looked up at Raphael "But did you listen? No!"

"What is this?" said Seto with a disgusted look on his face as Pegasus began to do the robot "A dance contest for the biggest freaks in Domino?"

"Make it stop!" screamed Mokuba at the top of his lungs as he covered his eyes in horror at what he was seeing "Make it stop! Make it stop! Make it stop!"

"Will all of you just ignore that lunatic?" shouted Dartz as loud as he could since he wanted to be declared the winner already "She was about to announce a winner!"

Many of the people present cringed, some covered their eyes, and others screamed. No one was able to scream as loud as Mokuba though. Despite this there were actually some people who thought Pegasus was a pretty good dancer. They were in awe at his weird and crazy way of dancing since it was unlike anything in existence. The ravers just waved their glowsticks from side to side and a few even began to dance exactly like him. The others began to chat excitedly about him amongst themselves. Finally the guy dressed as Luke Skywalker walked over and whispered something to the pink haired girl. She just looked at him as if though he were insane, shook her head, and spoke into her microphone once again.

"Okay people time to declare a winner!" said the pink haired girl as she spoke into her microphone as loud as she could "The winner and the undisputed king of the dance is..."

"I feel sick..." groaned Yami who still had no clue why the crowd had been booing him despite his awesome dance moves

"This is it!" said Dartz as he prepared himself to gloat and humiliate the Pharoah however he could "Say it!"

"Maximillion Pegasus!"

"WHAT?" screamed Dartz and Yami at the same time since they couldn't believe what they were hearing "HIM?"

"_We're dead..."_ thought Raphael, Amelda, and Varon in unison

To Be Continued...


	22. Dartz's Angels

Disclaimer: I do not own Yugioh, any of the characters, or The Gap, Home Shopping Network, QVC or "Sex And The City" so don't sue me:D

Author's Notes: Thank you so much to all the people who reviewed the last chapter! Oh and this chapter is kinda long so just a little warning :)

**Dartz's Angels**

"Ooh why are all of you looking at me?" asked Pegasus as he finally stopped dancing and took off his headphones "Did I forget to put pants on again?"

Several minutes had passed since Pegasus was declared the winner, but he was still busy dancing. It was only until Pegasus noticed the enormous crowd of people staring at him, that he realized something was going on. At that moment a loud cheer rose up from the crowd and all of the ravers ran forward and picked Pegasus up. They then put a crown made of glowsticks on his head and the pink haired girl came towards him.

"Maximillion Pegasus you've just become our new "King of Dance"!" shouted the pink haired girl into her microphone "What are you going to do now?". "Ooh I'm going to go get some juice!" said Pegasus excitedly "Hmm and maybe some gorgonzola cheese!". "You heard the man!" shouted the pink haired girl with an annoyed look on her face "Lets go get him some juice!" The pink haired girl didn't really like Pegasus that much but now he was the king so he had no choice but to obey. A few of the others looked kind of disappointed too since they wanted to go and get buzzed.

"Ooh you do realize that by juice I actually mean wine right?" said Pegasus with a slight laugh "It's my nickname for it". "You do?" exclaimed the pink haired girl as her face lit up like crazy "To the nearest bar!". The ravers gave a loud cheer and they ran out of the mall as quickly as they could with their new king.

"How did this happen?" cried Dartz as he lay facedown on the floor and pounded it with his fists "I was supposed to win!"

"It's not fair!" cried Yami who was also on the floor and kicking his legs like a little kid throwing a tantrum in a toy store "I should have won!"

"You should've but you didn't!" shouted Marik as he ran up to Yami and pulled him up off of the floor "So now I get to do this!"

Marik immediately dragged Yami over to the escalator since Yami was too depressed to do anything about it. "At last!" laughed Marik with maniacal glee as he prepared to toss Yami over the edge "As soon as I get rid of you I'll be-". "You'll be shopping for new clothes at Gap" said Ishizu as she suddenly grabbed Marik's arm and pulled him off "Now come on! They're having a half price sale right now!". "NO!" shrieked Marik as he tried to pull himself out of her firm grip "NOT UNTIL I TOSS HIM OFF THE ESCALATOR!".

"Go ahead..." said Yami as lay facedown on the floor "I don't want to live in a world where I'm not the king of dance!".

"See?" said Marik as he pulled out the Millenium Rod and brandished it in Ishizu's face "Now let me go before I-"

**SLAP!**

It all happened so quickly that Marik wasn't even sure what had happened at first. Ishizu was losing patience with Marik's constant attempts to avoid shopping at Gap. The only reason he was able to do so was because he had the Millenium Rod which enabled him to do crazy/illegal things. Without the Millenium Rod, the most he could do was throw a tantrum. So with one firm slap, Ishizu knocked the Millenium Rod out of his hand. The Millenium Rod then sailed through the air and came crashing down on Siegfried's head. It broke Marik's mind control over him but it knocked him unconscious as well. The rod then hit the two ravers that Marik had been using as a chair and footstool. Once Marik's mind control over them was broken, they wandered off in search of the rest of the ravers. Finally the Millenium Rod bounced up into the air once more and landed right in Mokuba's hand.

"_Hey what's this?_" thought Mokuba as he looked down at his older brother who was still giving him a piggyback ride "_Well whatever it is, it's gonna be Seto's birthday gift because it didn't cost me a cent!_".

"NO MY ROD!" screamed Marik when he realized that Mokuba had caught it "GIVE IT BACK!". "Enough with the excuses!" said Ishizu as she grabbed him roughly by the ear "There's some vests that I want you to buy and wear over that ridiculous bellyshirt!". "NO!" cried Marik as Ishizu began to drag him off kicking and screaming "I don't want to wear a vest!". It was no use though since Ishizu tossed him onto the escalator and took him straight to Gap.

"_Why Ra?" _thought Yami as he looked down the escalator and wondered whether he should just throw himself down it _"Why didn't you let me win?"_

"Why Great Leviathan?" cried Dartz at the top of his lungs as Varon, Amelda, and Raphael just stared at him "WHY DIDN'T YOU LET ME WIN?"

"Because you're old and completely crazy?" said Varon with a snicker as he looked down at his boss as he sobbed like a baby "Not to mention tacky".

As soon as Varon said this, Dartz jumped up and looked straight at him. "Old?" asked Dartz as his left eye suddenly began to twitch "Tacky?". If there was one word Dartz hated being called besides old, it would have to be tacky. After all he didn't spend thousands of dollars on snazzy purple suits and robes for nothing. Varon had gone too far this time and there was no way Dartz was going to let him get away with it.

"Yeah" said Varon as he defiantly put his hands on his hips "I think you're-gah!". "HOW DARE YOU CALL ME OLD AND TACKY!" screamed Dartz with a maniacal look in his eyes as he wrapped his hands around Varon's neck and began to choke him "I'LL GIVE YOU OLD AND TACKY!".

"Don't just stand there!" cried Varon when he noticed Raphael and Amelda just standing there staring "Help me!". Raphael didn't dare to do anything for fear that Dartz would punish him or humiliate him somehow. Amelda on the other hand was still in the short red dress and heels which was humiliating enough. Then again even if he hadn't, he still probably wouldn't have helped Varon. "Lemme go!" cried Varon as he struggled to breathe while trying to get Dartz's hands away from his neck "Somebody help me!".

"GET YOUR HANDS OFFA VARONA!" shouted Joey as he ran forward when he heard Varon's cries for help "No one hurts da girl I wanna marry!"

The moment Joey said this, Dartz's eyes opened wide and a huge grin appeared on his face. He had just planned on choking Varon til he lost consciousness, but now he had a better idea. "You want to marry this girl?" asked Dartz as he finally let go of Varon's neck and let him drop to the floor "Are you sure?". "Yeah!" shouted Joey as he immediately ran to Varon's side and pulled him/her up "Dis is da one thing I'm sure of!". "I-I-I saw my whole life flash before my eyes" mumbled Varon as he sat there coughing and trying to recover from yet another of Dartz's attempts on his life "But no Mai...". "Well if you're that certain of this my child" said Dartz with an evil twinkle in his mismatched eyes "I think there's something you should know about 'Varona' ".

**SNAP!**

The moment Dartz snapped his fingers, a huge cloud of smoke appeared and surrounded Varon and Joey. "Dammit!" muttered Varon as he tried his best to keep from suffocating yet again "This is the second attempt against my life in less than a minute!". When Raphael and Amelda saw Varon, their eyes opened wide in surprise. Dartz had finally decided to turn Varon back into a guy. The only thing was that he decided to leave him in the gold dress and heels. Well at least Amelda wasn't the only one in a dress now. Joey was still coughing pretty badly from the smoke, so he wasn't aware of what had happened.

"Oh..my head" groaned Siegfried as he opened his eyes up and realized that he was lying on the floor for some reason "I feel like I got beaten up by that big ape".

Siegfried slowly pulled himself up but was so dizzy that he could hardly see or walk. He noticed that there were some people standing up ahead. He figured that maybe they knew what had happened to him. Maybe they could also help him find the escalator since he didn't quite remember where it was at the moment.

"Dat smoke was so thick!" said Joey as he finally managed to stop coughing and looked over at his beloved Varon "Are ya okay Varona?". "Excuse me" said a very dizzy Siegfried as he tapped Raphael on the shoulder "But could you tell me what happened to me and perhaps where the escalator is?"

Blink Blink

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

The moment Joey looked over, he didn't see his beautiful Varona in her sexy gold dress and heels. The only thing he saw was Varon standing there in a gold dress and heels. "VARON?" screamed Joey at the top of his lungs when he saw Varon in drag "WHAT DA HELL'S GOIN ON? WHERE'S VARONA?". "My dear child" said Dartz as he tried his hardest not to burst into laughter "Your dear Varona is in reality nothing more than Varon in a dress". Joey began to scream louder than ever and it was only then that Varon looked down and realized why he was screaming. "I'm a guy again? YES!" shouted Varon at the top of his lungs from the joy "But why the Hell am I in this dress?".

"It's you!" gasped Siegfried when he realized that the person he had tapped Raphael "You did this to me!"."No a creepy blonde teenager with a bellyshirt did that to you" said Raphael as he tried to ignore the crazy pink haired man"I believe he's at Gap right now". "Liar!" screamed Siegfried at the top of his lungs as he slowly began to move away from him "No one in their right mind shops at Gap!". "Did you just call me a liar?" asked Raphael as he folded his arms and looked down at Siegfried "Nobody calls me a liar". Siegfried began to tremble like a frightened chihuahua, but then something hit him and knocked him down.

"OUTTA MY WAY PINKY!' screamed Joey at the top of his lungs as he ran as quickly as he could towards the escalator "I HAVE TA GET OUTTA HERE!".

"NOT BEFORE ME YOU ARE!" shouted Siegfried as he jumped up and began to run towards the escalator as well "NOW GET OUT OF MY WAY YOU FASHION VICTIM!". Joey and Siegfried were so traumatized and in such a hurry to get away, that they failed to notice something. Yami was still lying on the ground sulking, so they both ended up tripping over him and rolling down the escalator. Once they reached the bottom, they both got up and continued running in order to get away.

Other people's misfortune was always the best source of entertainment for Dartz. After everything that had just happened, Dartz was laughing so hard that he nearly wet his pants. Whenever Dartz laughed this hard, he also tended to lose control of his powers and strange things would happen. Sometimes things would explode, Raphael would be thrown off his motorcycle, Amelda would end up at The Gap, or Varon's room would be cleaned. Luckily this wasn't the case today and the only thing that happened was that Amelda's clothes were back to normal. "My trenchcoat!" cried Amelda happily when he looked down and realized his beautiful new trenchcoat was back "I've never been this happy!". "Hey why did your clothes go back to normal?" shouted Varon when he realized what had happened "I'm still stuck in this dress!".

"Great Leviathan! That just made my day!" cried Dartz who was now lying flat on his back laughing hysterically "I don't think anything could top that!"

**POW!**

"YOU!" screamed Tea at the top of her lungs after she tackled Amelda and knocked him flat on his back "HOW DARE YOU DANCE WITH YAMI?".

Tea had been quietly sitting in a corner plotting against Amelda. She was trying to think of a punishment that was extremely cruel as well as extremely painful. Unfortunately Tea wasn't an evil genius so that didn't really lead anywhere. Finally she decided to ask herself a very important question: What would Yami Bakura do? She figured that Yami Bakura would just attack him for no good reason, so she did the same thing. She hissed and clawed Amelda like some sort of insane feline. Raphael and Varon could only cringe and give thanks that they weren't in Amelda's shoes at that moment. Dartz on the other hand couldn't pass up an opportunity like this, so he pulled out his camcorder and began to film everything.

"And here we have a psychopathic girl vs Amelda" said Dartz as he zoomed in on the fight "I can almost see the fur flying!". "WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?" shouted Amelda as he barely managed to pull himself away from Tea "The only reason I danced with him was-". "YOU THINK YOU'RE SO PRETTY DON'T YOU?" screamed Tea as she slammed her fist right into Amelda's face " WELL YOU WON'T BE SO PRETTY ONCE I'M DONE WITH YOU!". Tea then punched him in the face a few more times while kicking him in the stomach as well. She still wasn't satisfied though so she decided to finish him off once and for all by kicking him in the...

OWWWWWWW!

"OW!" shouted Raphael and Varon as they cringed when they saw where Tea had kicked him "That's gotta hurt!". "Well he's a terrible dancer who cost me the contest" said Yami who had also seen exactly what had happened "But I can't help but feel sorry for him". Even Amelda lay there on the ground curled up in a little ball and howling from the pain, Tea wasn't done. She went over to him and tore a piece off a his shirt and decided to keep it as a reminder of her victory over him. Once she tucked the piece of lavender cloth in her pocket, she looked over and noticed Yami lying there.

"There you are Yami!" exclaimed Tea in a sugary sweet tone of voice as she began to walk over towards him "I was afraid that I had lost you again". Sure Tea looked sweet and friendly but she was actually a total nutcase in disguise. A nutcase who might suddenly turn on him and send him straight to the emergency room. As Tea began to get even closer, Yami knew exactly what he had to do: Run away. "Uh...I just remembered that I left the bathtub running" said Yami as he jumped onto the escalator and began to run "So goodb-"

OH NO!

Yami had been in such a hurry to get away that he forgot that he was wearing super tall platform boots. He ended up stumbling and rolling all the way to the bottom of the escalator. Tea gasped and immediately ran down the escalator and all the way down to where her beloved Yami was laying. "Yami!" cried Tea as she grabbed Yami and shook him like crazy "Speak to me!". "Tea?" groaned Yugi as he looked up at Tea with his big violet eyes "W-What happened to me?". "Yugi?" asked Tea as she looked at him in surprise "Where's Yami?". "I don't know" said Yugi as he looked up at the girl of his dreams "But that's not importan- Hey where are you going?". Without any warning Tea let go of Yugi and walked off feeling alone, angry, and oddly enough heartbroken...

"Are you okay Amelda?" asked Raphael as he looked down at the poor redhead who was still in severe pain "Do you need anything?"

The moment Raphael said this, Varon reached into a bag and was about to pull out Amelda's strawberry feline archenemy. Unfortunately Dartz got to Amelda first and began to torment him before Varon got a chance. "So you've lost yet another fight to a woman" said Dartz as he zoomed his camcorder in on the bruised and beaten redhead "What do you plan to do now?". "I..." groaned Amelda as he slowly and painfully pulled himself off to his knees "Plan to go home and pretend that none of this-WHAT THE HELL?"

"YES!" screamed Seto at the top of his lungs as he suddenly yanked the trenchcoat off of Amelda "IT'S MINE! MINE! ALL MINE!"

Seto had endured so much that day that he vowed not to leave the mall until he found that trenchcoat. Unfortunately even after everyone left after the dance contest was over, he had no clue where it could be. "Dammit" muttered Seto as he crawled around on all fours with Mokuba sitting on his back "I wish there was a way I could find where that crossdresser is!". "Hey what's this?" said a very surprised Mokuba when the Millenium Rod began to move in his hand and glow like crazy "This thing is pointing straight ahead for some reason!". "Huh?" asked Seto who had no clue about the nonsense that his little brother was talking about "What's straight-THERE HE IS!". So Seto quickly stood up, causing Mokuba to fall off, and immediately ran over to where Amelda was.

"COME BACK HERE KAIBA!" screamed Amelda as he struggled to run after Kaiba, but was too hurt to do so "That's my trenchcoat!". "You mean it's my trenchcoat!" laughed Seto as he immediately put on the trenchcoat "See? It looks much better on me!". Seto then laughed like a maniac once more before running away as quickly as he could. He was in such a hurry that he didn't notice that he had forgotten something. "Hey wait for me Seto!" cried Mokuba as he ran after his brother with the Millenium Rod in hand "You promised to take me for pizza after this!"

"My beautiful trenchcoat!" cried Amelda as he fell to his knees with a look of defeat on his face "I stole it first so it's mine!"

"Here" said the young redhead as he and the other two boys walked up to Amelda and tossed his old trenchcoat on the ground "You can have your trenchcoat back".

"Don't throw my trenchcoat on the ground!" exclaimed Amelda as he quickly picked it up and hugged it "It's the only one I've got left..". "Hey we can do what we want!" said the young redhead as he looked up at Amelda "Especially since you really are a sissy!". "We saw you get beaten up by a girl!" shouted the young brunette as he looked up at Amelda with his baby blue eyes "So that makes you a big sissy!". "Hey he's right!" said Varon as he snickered a bit when he heard what the boy said "I like the way this kid thinks". "Then you let someone steal your other trenchcoat" said the young blonde as he shook his head in disgust "You didn't even put up a fight". "The kid's got a point" said Raphael as he looked over at Amelda who was turning several shades of red "You could have at least gone after Kaiba".

"HOW THE HELL WAS I SUPPOSED TO GO AFTER KAIBA?" shouted a very pissed off Amelda at the top of his lungs "I CAN HARDLY WALK AFTER GETTING KICKED DOWN THERE!"

"Well what do we have here?" asked Dartz as he pushed Amelda out of his way and looked down at the little boys "Three little boys who oddly enough remind me of somebody...but who?". "Hey you're that dirty old man that peed his pants!" shouted the young brunette as he looked up at Dartz "Eww you need to wear old people diapers!". "Look who's talking!" " scoffed the young redhead as he looked over at the brunette "You wet the bed the last time we had a sleepover!". "I already told you!" cried the brunette as he looked up at the older boy "I spilled lemonade in my sleeping bag!". "Will you two knock if off?" said the young blonde as he stood between both boys before they started fighting "I'm sick of you two fighting over stupid stuff!".

"Hmm this is all so familiar" said Dartz as he looked down at the boys "But where have I seen it before?". Dartz glanced over at his minions for a moment to see if it would refresh his memory. So far the only thing he saw was Varon attempting to throw one of his high heels at Amelda, Amelda attempting to kill Varon, and Raphael standing between them. "Even if Dartz turned me into a girl" shouted Varon at the top of his lungs as he threw the shoe at Amelda "You're still girlier than me!". "I'm not girly!" shouted Amelda as he caught the shoe and threw it back as hard as he could "You take that back!". "OW!" shouted Raphael as the shoe ended up hitting him right in the face "Can't you two go one day without fighting?". "He started it!" shouted Varon and Amelda in unison as they pointed at each other. "_Nope_..." thought Dartz as he turned away and glanced over at the boys "_It doesn't ring a bell at all_".

"Future sissy!" cried the young brunette as he took off his shoe and threw it at the redhead. "Future slob!" shouted the young redhead as he caught the shoe and threw it back. "Ow!" cried the young blonde as the shoe hit him in the head "That hurt!". The brunette and the redhead were about to start fighting, but Dartz walked up to and pulled them apart. "There's something very familiar about you my children" said Dartz as eerily as possible as he looked down at the boys "Would you mind telling me your names?".

"Valon!"

"Alister"

"Rafael..."

"_What?" _thought Amelda and Varon as they looked over at the young boys standing in front of Dartz _"Those are the stupidest name I've ever heard!"_

"Hmm even your names seem familiar for some reason" said Dartz as he pulled three of his business cards out of his pocket "Anyways I want you to hang on to these for the next ten years".

"D-Dartz" said Valon as he attempted to read what it said on the business card "P-P-Pretzel? No..P-P-Pres...". "It says President!" snapped Alister who was losing patience with the younger boy "President of Paradius Corp...uh..a little help?". "Corporation" said Rafael as he read the business card once more "Dartz President of the Paradius Corporation". "Yes my children" said Dartz as he chuckled and rubbed his hands evilly "But before I go may I have a few words of advice for you". Dartz told young Valon to start wearing motorcycle goggles on his head and to learn how to speak with an Australian accent. He then told young Alister to start putting gel in his hair and to start doing more situps for some reason. Finally Dartz told young Rafael to go out and buy himself a Guardian Eatos doll, a Guardian Grarl doll, and a Guardian Key'est doll for some reason.

_"Now if one of these three morons has an "accident" "_ thought Dartz as he looked over at his three top minions _"I'll have a replacement for them...eventually"_

"Uh...okay" said the three boys in unison as they slowly began to back away from the crazy blue haired man "See ya later!". The three boys ran down the escalator and kept on running until they got outside of the mall. There was no way they were going to risk hanging around and having this crazy old man tell them even more nonsense.

**RIP!**

"Dammit! These stupid pantyhose ripped open" growled Varon as he looked down at one of his legs "What do you do when that happens Amelda?". "How the Hell should I know?" snapped Amelda who was feeling tired, cranky, and some other feeling that he didn't quite understand "I just want this day to end..". "Me too" said Raphael who was done carefully picking up all of his bags "I just want to get home right now". "And just how are we supposed to get home?" whined Varon who was tired, cranky, and getting a rash from the pantyhose "We didn't exactly drive here!".

**BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!**

"What's this?" said Dartz as he quickly glanced down and realized that his watch was beeping for some reason "It's 6pm already? "Sex And The City" is about to come on!". Watching "Sex And The City" was usually the highlight of Dartz's day and all of his minions knew this. So whenever the show came on, no one had the nerve to interrupt Dartz. Otherwise they'd end up short one soul and the Great Leviathan would end up with yet another appetizer. Dartz didn't want to miss a single second of his show so he decided to use the fastest method of travel.

"I know I swore I would never travel like this again" said Dartz as he looked up into the air and snapped his fingers "But this is a real emergency!". A vortex suddenly appeared overhead and began to suck things up like a giant vacuum cleaner. "AHH!" cried Varon as he was the first one sucked up into the vortex along with some shopping bags "NOT THIS AGAIN!". "No! I don't want to go!" shouted Amelda as he was the next one sucked up into the vortex "My stomach still hurts from last time!". "_It's 6pm" _thought Raphael as the vortex sucked him and his countless shopping bags up _"I wonder what's on the Home Shopping Network and QVC?"._

"And away I go!" shouted Dartz as he was finally sucked up into the vortex as well "I just hope I have time to whip up a martini". Even after Dartz and his minions had vanished, the vortex remained for some reason.

"Mokuba!" shouted Seto as he suddenly walked by at that moment looking for his little brother who was lost yet again "Mokuba where are- Hey what's that?"

Seto looked up and noticed the pale purple vortex overhead just swirling around and around. The colors were almost mesmerizing and the more Seto looked at it, the dizzier he became. After a few more seconds, Seto became so dizzy that he just fell on his knees. Suddenly the vortex activated one more time and tried to pull Seto up as well. "W-What's going on?" shouted Seto when he looked back and realized that this swirly purple thing was trying to pull him up "SOMEBODY HELP ME!". "Don't worry sir!" shouted Roland as he came out of nowhere and quickly grabbed one of Seto's legs and began to pull "I'll save you!". This was probably the only time that Seto was glad to have Roland around.

About a minute later the vortex began to die down and then it vanished completely. Seto and Roland just gave a sigh of relief since they had managed to make it out completely unharmed. "I've gotta find Mokuba and get the Hell out of here!" said Seto as he quickly pulled himself up and noticed Roland giving him weird looks "Why are you looking at me like that Roland?". "Uh sir..." said Roland who didn't quite know how to tell his boss what was going on so he whispered it "You're not wearing a...you know". Seto had no clue what Roland meant until he began to make gestures for Seto to look down.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

"MY TRENCHCOAT!" screamed Seto at the top of his lungs when he realized that his beautiful new trenchcoat was gone "THAT THING STOLE MY TRENCHCOAT!"

"_He's upset because a trenchcoat he stole was stolen from him?" _thought Mokuba was standing nearby and had seen the entire thing "_He didn't even get this upset when Pegasus captured me!"._

"My trenchcoat..." cried Seto as he threw himself on the floor and pounded it with his fists "I didn't even get a chance to say goodbye..."

To Be Continued...


	23. Showtime!

Disclaimer: I do not own Yugioh, any of the characters, The Home Shopping Network, Hooters, Hello Kitty, Sesame Street or Sex And The City so don't sue me:D

**Showtime!**

"Ahh there's nothing like getting lots of new boots" said Mai as she walked into her bedroom pushing a shopping cart filled with boots "Unless it's trying them all on again!"

After the beating she got from Tea, Mai's memory was kind of fuzzy. The only thing she could remember was roaming around the mall in search of her lost boots. Everything else she did and saw was a complete blur. This was probably a good thing considering how she ended up coming onto Amelda. Then again she'd probably never believe it since she and Amelda hated each other. How dare he accuse her of trying to copy his sense of style? If anything she should accuse him of copying her sense of style! After all why would he wear a lavender midriff even if it looked completely ridiculous on him?

After roaming for awhile Mai finally came across her boots neatly piled up next to an escalator. What she didn't realize was that it was also the exact same spot where she had woken up. So if she had just looked to her left when she woke up, she would have seen her boots from the start. After checking to make sure they were all there, she now had to figure out how to get them home. Luckily for her the wino that usually hung out in front of the mall left his shopping cart unguarded. So Mai "borrowed" the shopping cart, tied it to her motorcycle(which Amelda also accused her of copying), and sped off towards Doom Headquarters.

"Well there's one thing he'll never be able to copy" said Mai as she stopped in front of her closet "All of these kickass boots! Mwahahahaha!".

Mai then tipped the shopping cart over and dumped all of the boots onto the ground. There were so many pairs of boots that it took Mai awhile to decide which ones she wanted to try on first . "Should I start with patent leather stilleto boots?" said Mai as she dug through the pile "Or should I start with the regular leather stilletos?". As she attempted to solve her dilemma, a strange noise was heard in the distance.

**CRASH! CRASH! CRASH! THUMP!**

"That came from the conference room!" said Mai as her violet eyes opened wide and she ran to her bedroom door "Should I go see what it is? Or should I-". Mai cast a glance backwards and saw all of her lovely new boots once again. They were all black, had cool heels, and best of all they were far too small for Amelda to ever think of stealing. The more she looked at them, the more they seemed to call out to her. Some of the boots were saying "Ooh try me!", others were saying "I'm a stilleto so what's not to love?", while the rest were saying "What better way to break me in than by kicking Varon in the butt?". After hearing what all of the boots had to say, Mai finally made up her mind. "I guess it's nothing important" said Mai as she closed the bedroom door and went back to where all of the boots were "After all nothing matters when you've got boots!"

"Yes! I made it just in time!" shouted Dartz as he looked at his watch while sitting on top of Raphael, Amelda, and Varon "NOW YOU THREE GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE!"

Even though Dartz told them to leave, Raphael, Amelda, and Varon just lay there groaning in pain. This second trip through a vortex was far more horrible than the first one. The reason for this was because all of the shopping bags in the vortex kept smacking them in the head. Dartz on the other hand hadn't noticed since he was more focused on getting home in time. When the vortex finally opened up it dropped Varon onto the floor of the conference room along with his shopping bags. Amelda was the next one out and he landed right on top Varon. Luckily for him he had no shopping bags. A few seconds later Raphael and all of his shopping bags flew out and landed on top of Amelda and Varon. Before Raphael even had a chance to get off of the two young men he was smothering, Dartz landed on top of him. Dartz began to lose his patience when he realized his three minions still weren't moving. Luckily he knew just how to get them going...

"Home Shopping Network!"

"Home Shopping Network!" suddenly blurted Raphael as he suddenly snapped out of it and looked around "I'm missing whatever's on special this hour!". Raphael then grabbed all of his bags and scrambled out of the conference room as quickly he could. _"One moron down" _thought Dartz to himself as he looked at his other two minions sprawled out on the floor _"Two to go". _When Dartz came out of the vortex, he was accompanied by a trenchcoat. It was black, had silver buckles, and it looked like something that only a complete weirdo would wear. Dartz knew what he had to do so he walked over to the semi-conscious Amelda with the coat in hand.

"This is one of the most hideous trenchcoats I've ever seen" said Dartz as he dangled it over Amelda's head like a cat toy "So naturally it must belong to you am I right?"

"MY TRENCHCOAT!" shouted Amelda as he suddenly jumped up and snatched the trenchcoat out of Dartz's hands "I never thought I'd see it again!". Amelda hysterically clung to the trenchcoat and nearly cried from the joy. This was something that even Dartz thought was kind of creepy. Amelda then ran out of the conference room as quickly as he could. He left so quickly in fact that he failed to notice that there was a little surprise peeking out of one of the pockets. Then again he'd figure it out eventually. Dartz then looked down and saw that Varon was the only one left and he knew just how to handle him...

"WELL WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR?" shouted Dartz as he kicked Varon in the butt as hard as he could "GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE BEFORE I THROW YOU OUT!". "Don't make me laugh" said Varon who felt as if though he had been hit by a truck "You couldn't throw me out if your life depended on it!". This sounded like a challenge and Dartz was never one to pass up a challenge. "So you won't go willingly? Good!" said Dartz as he pulled a hockey stick out of thin air " Now I can do this!". Dartz swung the hockey stick and hit Varon as hard as he could.

"AHHHH!" screamed Varon as he suddenly flew across the super polished floor like some kind of human puck and went right out the door

**CRASH!**

"Goal!" shouted Dartz as he did a little victory dance with his hockey stick "Ahh now to enjoy some quality tele-". "Hey!" shouted Varon as he suddenly reappeared at the door "I had shopping bags you know!". Dartz immediately snapped his fingers and all of Varon's shopping bags flew up into the air and then straight at him. "Thanks..." mumbled Varon from somewhere underneath the pile of shopping bags.

"Moron.." muttered Dartz as he slammed the door to the conference room shut and locked it "Now to enjoy some quality television!". Dartz then pulled out the remote control and turned on the giant television screen in the conference room. "After a hard day of torturing minions" said Dartz as he sank into one of the comfy chairs "There's nothing like coming home and watching-". "Due to a baseball game" said a loud annoying voice on the television "Sex And The City will not be shown tonight!"

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Without "Sex And The City" Dartz's day just wasn't complete. He was completely miserable since he was being deprived of his favorite show due to a baseball game."First that stupid contest and now this!" sobbed Dartz as he pounded the table with his fists "Someone will pay for this!". He began to make plans to steal the souls of the players of both teams, but what would be the quickest way to do it? He was so busy thinking that he failed to notice that a small vortex had opened up right above him. Then it hit him...

**POW!**

"What was that?" shouted Dartz when he felt something fall on top of his head "If that was you Varon then I swear I'll-MY CAMCORDER!". Dartz had been so upset that he forgotten about his camcorder. Now that it had found it's way back to him, he didn't have any reason to be upset. After all he had an entire day's of unwatched footage to cheer him up.

"Can you believe this?" chirped the super cheerful salesperson of the hour on the television screen "This lovely Guardian Eatos figurine can be yours for only 3 payments of $19.99!"

"_For once I'm not interested" _thought Raphael as he looked over at the Guardian Eatos figurine on his nightstand _"I've already got one and she didn't cost me a cent"_

After getting back into his bedroom, Raphael immediately turned his tv to the "Home Shopping Network". There were still some commercials so this gave him time to do what he liked best: check out his new things. Raphael's face lit up like a kid on Christmas morning as he dumped all of the shopping bags onto the floor. There were so many bags that he ended up knee deep in junk. Of all the things he bought though, Raphael's favorite find had been the Guardian Eatos figurine. The other thing he liked the most was the roast beef scented pillow he bought. He then remembered that he had gotten some pillows for both of his friends, so he decided to take the pillows to them. Amelda's was lavender and smelled like cupcakes, while Varon's was pink and smelled like cotton candy.

"Now where was I?" said Raphael as he returned to his room and sat on his bed "Oh yeah! I was going to try out my new musical blender!". He immediately jumped off of his bed and began to search for the nearest power outlet. Raphael was so busy searching that he failed to detect a faint beeping sound coming from underneath the pile of things he had bought. A few minutes later the beeping increased, there was a faint roar, and the robotic vacuum cleaner finally managed to free itself. It had been on "dirt patrol" and it sensed some dirt, but was buried in the avalanche of junk before it got the chance to clean it. After a few seconds it once again managed to home in on the source of the dirt and began to beep rapidly.

"I know there's a power outlet somewhere around here" said Raphael as he crawled on all fours checking the walls "But where is it?".

Raphael was so busy looking for the outlet that he failed to notice the rapid beeping. He was also to busy to notice that his boots were completely filthy and had just become the target of his beloved robotic vacuum cleaner. "Ah here we go!" said Raphael as he finally located a power outlet near his nightstand "Now to-"

**WHOOSH! CRASH!**

The robotic vacuum cleaner fired it's boosters, flew into the air, and hit Raphael in the head. He immediately fell onto the ground and the vacuum rolled all over him and sucked up the dirt."Beep, beep, beep" said the vacuum cleaner when it finally rolled off Raphael and went off "beep, beep". Raphael groaned and quickly pulled himself up off the ground. "Uhhh" groaned Raphael who now had a huge bruise on the side of his head( but at least was dirt free now) "Did I just get hit by a UFO again?"

"Coming up in the next hour!" shouted the super cheerful salesperson on the television "An entire set of Guardian Eatos collector's shotglasses!".

The moment Raphael heard this he was overcome with that same familiar feeling. His heart was pounding, his palms were sweating, and he found himself reaching towards his back pocket. Raphael's hand reached his back pocket but then he realized something: his wallet was gone. "WHAT!" shouted Raphael as he jumped up and looked all around the room "Where did I leave my wallet?". "Hurry up and call in!" said the salesperson on tv as if in an attempt to further torment Raphael "We've only got 500 sets of the Guardian Eatos collector's shotglasses!". "I've got to find it!" shouted Raphael as he ran around in circles like crazy "Where did I leave it?"

The only response Raphael got was from his vacuum cleaner which was still beeping and roaming around the room. He figured that maybe had had dropped it somewhere on the carpet. Unfortunately he couldn't even see the carpet, so he was going to have to improvise. He quickly strapped on a snorkel and dove headfirst into the pile of junk in search of his wallet. What Raphael never suspected was that his wallet wasn't on the ground at all. When the robotic vacuum cleaner rolled over him, it sucked the wallet right out of his pocket. Now his wallet was trapped inside of it and was currently rolling around the room. "We're down to only 250 sets!" shouted the salesperson on the tv "So if you haven't called in already do it now! Or else it'll be too late!"

"I can't find it!" shouted Raphael as he suddenly emerged somewhere in the pile of junk several minutes later "Where did I leave it?". "And we are officially sold out of the Guardian Eatos collector's shotglasses!" said the salesperson on the television as they rang a bell "But don't worry we've got a lovely set of Kuriboh shotglasses as well!". "NO!" shouted Raphael as he pulled himself out of the pile of junk and sat there looking miserable "I don't understand what could have happened to my wallet!". "Beep beep beep" said the robotic vacuum cleaner as it rolled right by him once again "Beep beep".

"Lets see..." said Amelda who was busy putting Varon's picture on the main page of his website "What should I title this picture?"

Amelda's website was called "If You Can Read This You're Already Smarter Than Half Of My Coworkers". It was one of the strangest websites ever imaginable since it had break dancing robots on every single page. There were also three sections on the website in which Amelda whined, ranted, and complained about different people. The first section was called "The Goggle-Headed Moron" and it was about Varon. So naturally Amelda told all about Varon's secret love of "Sesame Street". He was also nice enough to include a bonus picture of Varon cuddling a plush Cookie Monster as he slept. The second section was called "The Copycat Skank" and was all about Mai. It had a list of all of the things Amelda believed that Mai had copied from him. It also featured a picture of her with horns and a beard drawn on. The third section was called "Who's The Bigger Flamer?" and it was about Raphael and Dartz. He wrote all about how Dartz would always set Raphael on fire every day during breakfast. He included pictures and mentioned that once the fire was put out, Raphael acted as if nothing had happened. It was no wonder that Amelda (or "SexyRedhead" as he called himself) had more fans than he could ever imagine.

"I guess I'll call it "Girly Varon"" said Amelda as he looked at the picture of a half dressed female Varon "Or should I just call it "Varona"?

**PING!**

"Oh great..." muttered Amelda when he realized that someone had just IM'd him "Who the Hell wants to bother me now?". At first he was tempted to ignore the person but then he noticed that their screen name was "CrazyAnzu". CrazyAnzu was not only one of his biggest fans, but she was also the webmistress of one of his favorite sites: "If You're Smiling Then I Hate You!". It was a website dedicated to bashing people who were always happy and who gave friendship speeches. Amelda couldn't get enough of the insane rants she posted in a section called "A Certain Girl I'd Like To Beat With A Stick". His other favorite section was one entitled "Why Am I Cursed With A Little Spiky Haired Pervert Who Can't Take A Hint?". He loved her website so much that he decided to contact her, but was surprised when she contacted him first and let him that she loved his site. They quickly became online friends and would always tell the other the type of morons they dealt with on a daily basis.

"_Hey you won't believe what happened to me today at the mall_" thought Tea as she typed on her computer "_I met the weirdest person ever!_"

"_Then you're not the only one_" thought Amelda as he typed his response to her _"I met this really weird and crazy person today"_

Tea wasted no time in telling Amelda all about the weird and creepy guy she kept bumping to all day at the mall. This guy not only had a really pretty face, but he looked better than her in a short shirt. This was already more than enough reasons for her to hate him, but there was more. The guy appeared at practically every store she went to and always wanted to buy the same thing she did. At this point she wanted to push him down the escalator but he did that to her first. The final straw was when she caught him trying to steal away the man of her dreams. She gave him a beating he'd never forget, but she still wasn't satisfied. She vowed that if she ever saw him again, she'd make that tall, scrawny, pretty, sissy boy regret ever being born!

_"He'd better hope that I never find out who he is!"_ thought Tea who was shaking from rage at that moment _"Otherwise I'll break every bone in his body!"_

_"Hell even I want to beat him up now!" _thought Amelda as she shook his head in disgust at the moron "CrazyAnzu" just told him about _"But nothing beats this girl I met today"_

Amelda began to tell Tea all about the weird and crazy girl he kept bumping to all day at the mall. This girl was really weird since she had a pretty face and an unusually short skirt on. Normally this would have been enough for him to hate her and label her a skank, but he'd soon change his mind. Not only did this girl show up at nearly every store he went to, but she always tried to buy what he wanted. They'd end up fighting and that's when she'd snap and become a complete psychopath. She'd kick, beat up, and attempt to kill anyone that got in her way. It was shocking to see that such a pretty face could conceal such an evil mind. For some reason though, everytime he thought about that psycho girl he'd feel really weird...

_"I think I found the woman of my dreams" _thought Amelda as he sighed happily for a moment before looking back at the screen _"But she'd probably just beat me up again"_

_"You're kidding right?" _thought Tea who couldn't believe what "SexyRedhead" had just said _"Why would you want such a sick twisted lunatic?"_

_"Well I did get a concussion today" _thought Amelda who honestly didn't know why he was suddenly infatuated with a girl that had given him the beating of a lifetime _"Then again I felt this way before that happened"_

_"You need to snap out of it!" _thought Tea who couldn't believe that her best online friend had fallen for a homicidal maniac _"Why don't we meet somewhere so I can talk some sense into you?"_

_"You want to meet me somewhere?" _thought Amelda who was surprised since he had never really thought about meeting his online friend _"Uh sure...so where should we meet?"_

Tea quickly gave Amelda the address of a book store where they could meet in one hour. Once he wrote down the address, he logged out, turned off the computer, and got up from his desk. Amelda then walked over to the mirror in order to brush his hair before leaving."Maybe she's right" said Amelda as he went over to a mirror and examined a huge bruise he had on his cheek "Why would I want a psycho like that girl?". As he tried his best to figure out why he liked her, he noticed a strange aroma. He knew he had smelled that aroma somewhere but where?. He cautiously begin to follow the mysterious scent and was almost immediately led right to the closet where his new trenchcoat was. "The scent is coming from one of the pockets" said Amelda as he put his hand in the pocket to see what it was "But what could-AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!". Much to Amelda's horror, the cute strawberry scented Hello Kitty had somehow found it's way into the pocket of his trenchcoat. After screaming for a minutes, Amelda dropped the Strawberry Kitty and ran out the door. After dealing with Strawberry Kitty he could easily deal with anything that came his way.

"I guess Amelda did keep the gift I gave him" snickered Varon when he heard Amelda's girly screams all the way from his bedroom "And I thought he was just going to throw it away"

Even though Varon had just had one of the most traumatic days of his life, he temporarily forgot about it. After all he had several bags full of cool and useless one of a kind junk. "I can't believe that I actually found a Cookie Monster backscratcher!" said Varon as he happily dug through one of the bags "And a matching toilet brush!". In fact it seemed that every single bag he opened had even cooler and weirder stuff than the last. Awhile later Varon realized that there were no more bags left and that's when the memories of his day returned to him.

"This day started off so bad" said Varon as he finally pulled himself off of the ground and looked around his room "For one thing I didn't get any breakfast!".

Breakfast was usually the best part of Varon's day and if he didn't have any, then his day would automatically be ruined. He was feeling pretty disappointed but then he remembered why he hadn't had any. After all waking up and finding out that he had somehow turned into the opposite sex was more than enough to make anyone forget breakfast. Varon quickly walked over to his closet and opened it up to check that everything was back to normal. Unfortunately a huge avalanche of dirty clothes fell out and buried him. Everything was definitely back to normal.

"I guess..." said Varon as he pulled himself out of the avalanche of clothes "I guess this day wouldn't have been so bad if no one had seen me". It was true that Varon's day did start off bad, but it got worse once Raphael and Amelda saw him. Raphael unwillingly walked in on him getting dressed and was completely traumatized when he saw his new figure. Amelda on the other hand laughed so hard when he first saw Varon that he passed out. That was kind of funny though since it was the same thing Varon did when he figured out Amelda was actually a guy. "But my day really began to go bad when Dartz saw me!" growled Varon as he attempted to stuff his clothes back in his closet "After all he's the one that did this to me!"

Varon had a good point since Dartz was the one who turned him into a girl just for cheap laughs. He was also the one who had sent him to a mall full of people in such humiliating condition. Even though Varon usually loved the mall, this was the one time he didn't want to be there. Not only was he nearly forced to try on lingerie, but he was hit on by Joey Wheeler. After seeing Joey's methods for picking up girls, he couldn't help but feel sorry for girls he hit on. If there was anything unsexy then it would have to be a guy shoving several corndogs in his mouth at the same time.

"But that was nothing at all" groaned Varon when he remembered the most humiliating moment he had "After all nothing tops that!"

Even though Varon had been female on the outside, he was still male on the outside. So when he ran into Mai at the mall he reacted like he usually did when she was around. Usually when Mai turned him down, he didn't really care and figured he'd try again the next day. Now getting turned down and called a tacky tramp by Mai while he was female, was one of the most traumatizing moments ever. He just wanted to crawl into a hole and die afterwards. "You'd think Dartz would've been satisfied by humiliating me like that" said Varon as he squeezed the pink cotton candy scented pillow Raphael had given him "But no! That just wasn't enough for him!".

Not only did Dartz force him to dance with him under threat of having all his information given to Joey, but he was forced to do so in drag. The gold dress and heels that Dartz made him wear(which were currently in the trashcan) left little to the imagination. At least the velour suit he had been wearing covered most his body. The only thing that made the whole experience kind of amusing was when Amelda ended up in drag too. It was amazing just how much Amelda looked like a real woman while wearing a dress and heels. It would have pointless for Dartz to waste his magic since he already looked the part.

"Well if there's anything I learned today it's one thing" said Varon as he jumped onto his bed and put the pillow behind his head "It's that Amelda really is girly whether he likes it or not so it's okay for me to tease him about it!".

After the long hard day he had had there was nothing Varon wanted more than to rest. So he stretched out and enjoyed the delicious cotton candy scent of the pillow Raphael gave him. It was amazing how Raphael managed to find the weirdest things while at the mall. Then again Varon had picked up some pretty cool things with the money that Pegasus had given him. Money that unwillingly ended up in the hands of sweet Mai who used it all to buy boots. Hmm maybe now she would finally accept his offer for a date. "I guess there's no harm in asking" yawned Varon as he felt himself slowly drifting off to sleep "But I guess I'll wait til tomorr-Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz"

"HAHAHAHAHHA!" laughed Dartz as he spat out a mouthful of popcorn as he glanced up at the screen "This is absolutely priceless!"

Dartz was comfortably lounging in a chair with a big bowl of popcorn and a pitcher full of strawberry daiquiris. After all what better way to enjoy tv than with a snack and a buzz? Then again Dartz hadn't really managed to eat or drink very much since he couldn't stop laughing. So far Dartz had seen the moment everyone figured out Varon had been turned into a girl, the moment when Varon unwillingly flashed Raphael, and a few other random moments. Dartz was laughing so hard that his sides were splitting, but nothing could've prepared him for the best part of all: Individual punishments!

"And here we have victim number one!" said Dartz as he greedily shoved some popcorn in his mouth and looked up at the screen "Amelda!"

Amelda was the first one that Dartz chose to punish just for fun and what a punishment it was! He was forced go to head to head with a female wrestler called The Slamazon. Even though Amelda was a guy, he was scrawny and was no match for The Slamazon. She tossed him and pounded him as if though he were a rag doll. It was the funniest thing Dartz had ever seen, but then it got even better! "I-I-I'm a man!" cried Amelda up on the screen as The Slamazon held him in a headlock. This answer wasn't good enough for The Slamazon who tossed Amelda into the middle of the ring and pulverized him. The moment she did this, Dartz spit his popcorn out yet again and laughed so hard that he couldn't even breathe. "No more!" gasped Dartz whose chest was hurting so bad that he pulled out the remote and fast forwarded the tape "My poor lungs...". After scanning through the tape, Dartz got to the second punishment and grinned like crazy.

"And here we have victim number two!" said Dartz as he fanned himself for a moment in order to try and get some more oxygen "Varon!"

Varon was the second one that was punished, but he actually deserved it. Dartz decided to sent Varon to another fun place: Hooters! Not only did Varon drop into Hooters dressed a waitress, but he landed right in Bandit Keith's birthday cake. Bandit Keith was the sort of person who would pound someone senseless for such a thing, but not this day. Poor little "Varona" was just too cute and sexy to pound, so he wanted her to repay him in another way. "I know just how you can repay me baby" said the dirty perverted Bandit Keith up on the screen "You can give me a flap dance!". "A WHAT?" screamed Varon at the top of his lungs "Wait...what's a flap dance?". Luckily for Varon a flap dance was nothing more than a dance he performed wearing a giant owl costume. Even though Dartz was supposed to be laughing at Varon, he couldn't help but laugh at Bandit Keith. "I have one word for someone who wants a flap dance" laughed Dartz as he pounded the conference table "Cuckoo!". Dartz laughed at his own corny joke for awhile before fast forwarding to the final and most hilarious punishment of all.

"And here we have the third and final victim" said Dartz as he took a few quick sips of his strawberry daiquiri before he started the tape "Raphael!"

Besides setting Raphael on fire every morning, Dartz didn't usually punish him. After all Raphael was pretty dull and never really seemed to do anything bad like Varon. He also didn't overreact and get upset over nothing like Amelda. Then again he had already punished Amelda and Varon, so it wouldn't be fair for Raphael to be deprived. The results were far more than anything Dartz could have hoped for. "WHAT THE HELL IS THIS PLACE?" screamed a high and completely disoriented Raphael as he looked around "SOMEONE GET ME OUT OF HERE!". Raphael had not only managed to get high but he roamed through half of the mall in such conditions. As he walked mothers pulled their children aside and told them to ignore the "crazy man". "My he can't hold his wacky weed can he?" said Dartz as he munched on a bit of popcorn "He'd have made a terrible hippie". Raphael then wandered into a music store, knocked over a few cd racks, and suddenly began to dance with his Guardian Eatos figurine. He danced and danced for what seemed an eternity, so Dartz fast forwarded the tape. Finally he got a part that he was absolutely dying to see. "Mmmm Guardian Eatos..." slurred Raphael as he kissed his Guardian Eatos figurine "I love you too.." The moment he did this Dartz laughed, cried, fell on the floor, rolled around, got back in his chair, and fell back on the floor.

"If he marries that thing" laughed Dartz who was fairly certain that he had broken several of his ribs at his point "I'd hate to see what their kids look like!"

After calming down a bit, Dartz got back in his chair and decided to continue watching the video. After all there were so many more humiliating moments that he had captured on tape. As Dartz was randomly fast forwarding and rewinding the tape, he reached one part that he had completely forgotten about. "Hey I'm going to stick his finger into his nose!" giggled the young boy named Valon up on the screen "That way it'll look like he's picking his nose!". Dartz then rewound the tape some more and realized that these three boys had not only poked him with sticks, but they accused him of wetting his pants as well. "Well it doesn't matter" said Dartz as he narrowed his eyes as he looked up on the screen "I'll get even with those little punks soon enough". Several hours later, Dartz was done watching the tape and he couldn't be happier.

"This is my greatest masterpiece ever!" said Dartz who was so overwhelmed that he was crying from joy "But where do I go from here?"

Never in his ten thousand years of life had Dartz felt this way before. He had created something so wonderful that he was afraid that he'd never be able to top it. Or could he? "Well..." said Dartz as he glanced over at his camcorder which was sitting over on the edge of the table "There's always tomorrow". He then gave a wicked smile, reached over for the camcorder, but his grip wasn't firm enough and...

**CRASH!**

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

"Huh? That's the second time I've heard noise coming from the conference room" said Mai who was busy trying to shove all of her new boots into her closet "Oh well I guess it's nothing important"

THE END

Author's Notes: Thank you so much to everyone who read and reviewed this story!(You know who you are!) Ahh I think this chapter was the longest one ever in the story. Then again it is the very last one. I'm thinking of making a small spinoff about the moment "CrazyAnzu" and "SexyRedhead" meet (Ryuu Soba inspired me). Anyways thanks once again:)


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